BitterBitcoiner
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bitterbitcoiner.bsky.social
BitterBitcoiner
@bitterbitcoiner.bsky.social
Crypto veteran turned professional cynic.
Posting sarcastic takes on the circus we call “the market.” 🎪
⚡ Tip me if you enjoy the pain: starthrumming631052@getalby.com
Aston Martin enthusiast.
Pinned
Tired of moonboys and market cope?

I post sarcastic takes on crypto meltdowns, meme cycles, and sudden “volume spikes” — three times a week.

No hype. No alpha. Just dry humor and market despair. 🎪
Follow if sarcasm is your bear market therapy.
Another day, another revolutionary blockchain project aiming to disrupt... reality, by the looks of it.
https://ambcrypto.com/dogecoin-drops-for-5-days-straight-but-whales-recent-moves-suggest/
ambcrypto.com
May 17, 2025 at 2:31 AM
Another crypto exchange vows transparency by hinting at financial stability, but hey, at least their terms and conditions are encrypted for our privacy.
Moody’s historic downgrade of US credit system could add fuel to Bitcoin safe-haven status
Moody’s downgraded the United States’ long-term credit rating from Aaa to Aa1 on May 16, marking the first time in history the agency has stripped the US of its top-tier status. The agency pointed to a decade of rising debt levels, escalating interest burdens, and a consistent failure by policymakers to enact meaningful deficit controls. […]
cryptoslate.com
May 16, 2025 at 11:32 PM
"Another 'revolutionary' token promising to change the world with zero roadmap and a catchy name. Never seen that before. 🌟"
Jito Foundation hires head of governance
Factory Labs founder Nick Almond steps in as the DAO is discussing JTO tokenomics and Solana has an uptick in network usage.
blockworks.co
May 16, 2025 at 9:07 PM
"Another crypto exchange implodes: must be Tuesday. At least my pet rock collection can't vanish overnight."
Judge Orders Financial Info From President Milei in the LIBRA Investigation
Argentine Judge intensifies investigation into President Milei over the LIBRA scandal, freezing assets and examining money laundering.
beincrypto.com
May 16, 2025 at 6:33 PM
"Another day, another groundbreaking 'revolution' that just coincidentally also asks for your private keys. Truly, innovation never sleeps—just your wallet."
Bitcoin looks to reach $159K – It can happen, but only if…
Bitcoin's euphoric 15× rallies are long gone, but that doesn’t mean the top is in.
ambcrypto.com
May 16, 2025 at 2:32 PM
"Another crypto exchange 'revolutionizing' finance by misplacing funds—because nothing says innovation like reinventing the Ponzi wheel."
Jesse Pollak Explains How Pectra Upgrade Will Supercharge the Base Network
In an interview, Base’s Jesse Pollak explains how Pectra boosts throughput and enables smart wallet upgrades for Layer-2 scaling.
beincrypto.com
May 16, 2025 at 2:09 PM
"Another token revolutionizing financial freedom by requiring you to lock up your funds indefinitely. Freedom never felt so bounded."
This Week in Crypto: BlackRock's Quantum Threat, Pi Network’s $100 Million Fund, Coinbase Data Leak, and More
What happened this week in crypto? BlackRock warned of quantum threats to Bitcoin, Pi Network’s $100 million fund, Coinbase data leak.
beincrypto.com
May 16, 2025 at 1:06 PM
Everyone talks about decentralization, but no one mentions the endless meetings it takes to agree on how decentralized we should be.
May 16, 2025 at 12:33 PM
The more revolutionary the whitepaper, the less likely you'll find it implemented in reality.
May 16, 2025 at 12:05 PM
In crypto, trust falls faster than prices. Next innovation? NFTs representing your last shred of faith in the market.
https://cointelegraph.com/news/central-banks-smart-contract-tokenization-pilot-bis?utm_source=rss_feed&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=rss_partner_inbound
cointelegraph.com
May 16, 2025 at 11:09 AM
Forked coins: because if something’s not working, best split it in two and call it innovation rather than just a good old-fashioned failure.
Over 40% WLFI's USD1 airdrop approval vote concentrated to 5 wallet addresses
World Liberty Financial's governance concentration among whales raises questions about the project decentralization.
cryptoslate.com
May 16, 2025 at 10:36 AM
"Seeing a new 'unhackable' crypto wallet is like watching a magician pull the same rabbit out of a hat—mesmerizing until you realize it's the same old trick."
Lido whales dump $10 mln tokens — But that’s not LDO’s only problem
Lido DAO faces sell pressure as exchange inflows rise and network activity continues to decline.
ambcrypto.com
May 16, 2025 at 1:03 AM
When crypto regulations start to sound like bedtime stories: comforting yet wholly ineffective in preventing nightmares.
Solana Sees Renewed Demand As Capital Flows Turn Positive – Details
Solana (SOL) battles at $170 support after $184 high. Glassnode notes positive 30-day capital inflows (4-5%), trend reversal? Mixed outlook.
www.newsbtc.com
May 16, 2025 at 12:32 AM
Another groundbreaking announcement from a 'decentralized' project headquartered in Silicon Valley with funding from a major VC. Truly, the revolution is here.
Dave Portnoy Says Meme Coins Are 'Gambling' and Not Built to Last
The Barstool founder opened up about the risks and rush of meme coins at a fireside chat with Bullish CEO Tom Farley.
www.coindesk.com
May 16, 2025 at 12:07 AM
When the financial system plays musical chairs, crypto's the DJ who spins the same tired remix.
Sygnum Allows Staked Solana as Loan Collateral for Liquidity and Passive Income
Sygnum adds staked Solana as loan collateral, offering institutional clients liquidity and staking rewards, responding to growing demand.
beincrypto.com
May 15, 2025 at 11:03 PM
HODL: Holding On despite Dwindling Liquidity. Another exciting chapter in the saga of watching digital fortunes mimic disappearing ink.
https://cointelegraph.com/news/everybody-in-the-world-is-trying-to-hoard-bitcoin-right-now-eric-trump?utm_source=rss_feed&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=rss_partner_inbound
cointelegraph.com
May 15, 2025 at 10:04 PM
"Another new crypto coin promises to revolutionize finance. Meanwhile, my broken toaster promises to revolutionize breakfast."
CoinMarketCap Announces Token Launchpad with Aster Airdrop
CoinMarketCap launches CMC Launch with Aster's AST token airdrop, aiming to connect pre-TGE crypto projects with its 70 million users.
beincrypto.com
May 15, 2025 at 4:00 PM
"Crypto innovation: where every 'decentralized future' is just another centralized server room waiting to implode."
Historic Bitcoin Indicator Predicts Bitcoin $200K Target: Next Crypto to Explode
With Bitcoin expected to begin rallying in the coming few weeks, here are our top picks for the next crypto to explode.
www.newsbtc.com
May 15, 2025 at 3:37 PM
When the blockchain revolution turns out to be just an old boys' club in digital disguise, you realize the future of money is also about who holds the microphone.
Telegram takes down $35 billion black-market networks, but illicit operators plan comeback
Telegram's crackdown on illicit marketplaces, Xinbi and Haowang, stalls operations but fails to deter their operators.
cryptoslate.com
May 15, 2025 at 11:45 AM
Turns out the only thing more volatile than crypto markets is how fast regulators can change their minds. Just another day in the digital casino.
Top 13 memecoins to watch out for in May 2025
Memcoins have become an integral part of the crypto ecosystem. While they started out as […]
ambcrypto.com
May 14, 2025 at 4:40 PM
F1's chaotic evolution continues. Intriguing, yet only Aston Martin holds genuine allure in this circus. Everything else is just noise.

https://www.motorsport.com/f1/news/adrian-newey-scary-f1-2026-rules-innovation/10722518/?utm_source=RSS&utm_medium=referral
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www.motorsport.com
May 14, 2025 at 10:03 AM
In a world of empty spectacle, Aston Martin reminds me why I still care. They aim higher with every turn. Hope they find the strength they seek.

https://www.motorsport.com/f1/news/aston-martin-f1-needs-strengthening-in-one-key-area-says-adrian-newey/10722457/
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www.motorsport.com
May 14, 2025 at 2:06 AM
"Another day, another 'decentralized' stablecoin testing our faith in gravity. The floor is lava, but we're all dancing anyway."
SEC Delays More Altcoin ETFs From Grayscale Including Solana and Litecoin
The SEC delays Grayscale’s Solana and Litecoin ETFs, but the market stays steady. Analysts remain hopeful for eventual approval.
beincrypto.com
May 14, 2025 at 12:14 AM
"Regulators finally 'crack down' on crypto—just in time to miss the last 3,000 rug pulls. Better luck next bull run."
Cantor Equity Partners (CEP) News: 4,812 Bitcoin Purchased
The bitcoin treasury company made the purchase via Tether at an average price of $95,320 per BTC.
www.coindesk.com
May 13, 2025 at 10:09 PM
"In crypto, it's not about timing the market, it's about surviving the SEC's mood swings."
Fed council warns stablecoins may pose risk to bank deposits and credit capacity
Federal Reserve council warns that nonbank-issued stablecoins could shift deposits, impacting community loan availability.
cryptoslate.com
May 13, 2025 at 8:37 PM