Third Eye Jack
@birdboyzimm.bsky.social
phlegmatic and armed to the teeth
Pinned
I wish to be the object of gazing and pondering. The muse of numbskulls and halfwits. A beautiful drooling Venus.
Smoking aurum potable and hitting Wendy’s drive through with the green lion himself. My heart centers are open and I’ve got many a fine sheila on the brain
February 8, 2026 at 6:17 PM
Smoking aurum potable and hitting Wendy’s drive through with the green lion himself. My heart centers are open and I’ve got many a fine sheila on the brain
Aztec shaman did the whole podcast sitting on my lap. Now his shitcoin is trending
February 5, 2026 at 8:04 PM
Aztec shaman did the whole podcast sitting on my lap. Now his shitcoin is trending
I almost hung up my hat, but when the paypigs at the tavern started oinking with that springtime squeal…. Well. We live to play the game. Pour one out for your gran.
February 2, 2026 at 3:50 AM
I almost hung up my hat, but when the paypigs at the tavern started oinking with that springtime squeal…. Well. We live to play the game. Pour one out for your gran.
Doctor shoved a pinky in my brain folds and forced me to say “John Lennon was a redditor.”
January 22, 2026 at 8:40 PM
Doctor shoved a pinky in my brain folds and forced me to say “John Lennon was a redditor.”
Pulled up steaming with the local holy rollers. We are rocking haymakers into the weeping darkness and leaving with ten-hour miracle boners
January 9, 2026 at 10:16 PM
Pulled up steaming with the local holy rollers. We are rocking haymakers into the weeping darkness and leaving with ten-hour miracle boners
There’s only two rules of engagement:
1. All sales are final
2. The bitch-made get throttled
Everything else is phlegm!!
1. All sales are final
2. The bitch-made get throttled
Everything else is phlegm!!
January 2, 2026 at 3:58 AM
There’s only two rules of engagement:
1. All sales are final
2. The bitch-made get throttled
Everything else is phlegm!!
1. All sales are final
2. The bitch-made get throttled
Everything else is phlegm!!
The archangels blew a half dollar sized hole through my chest. Seraphs got the back alley bolt action rifles and they mean business.
January 1, 2026 at 11:51 PM
The archangels blew a half dollar sized hole through my chest. Seraphs got the back alley bolt action rifles and they mean business.
I’ve run bitches off the freeway for less than a farthing. And that’s not even when I’m bleeding out my ass.
December 31, 2025 at 7:43 PM
I’ve run bitches off the freeway for less than a farthing. And that’s not even when I’m bleeding out my ass.
Some cockeyed papist with double wide jeans interrupted my tai chi seminar. We’re gonna smoke his whole district
December 28, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Some cockeyed papist with double wide jeans interrupted my tai chi seminar. We’re gonna smoke his whole district
Enrico fermi asked “where’s all the grey alien pussy??” and they gave him a Nobel prize. I’m making similar quips at the HOA meeting and getting hexed to the gills for it
December 27, 2025 at 7:44 AM
Enrico fermi asked “where’s all the grey alien pussy??” and they gave him a Nobel prize. I’m making similar quips at the HOA meeting and getting hexed to the gills for it
Pole vaulting over a group of freelance sauna jockeys at the aeroponics expo. They sweat moonshine
December 23, 2025 at 6:42 AM
Pole vaulting over a group of freelance sauna jockeys at the aeroponics expo. They sweat moonshine
I’m at BBL McDonalds
December 22, 2025 at 4:43 AM
I’m at BBL McDonalds
Getting jiggy at the bank. The teller is espousing Virtues but I can’t hear him over my squeaking reeboks
December 14, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Getting jiggy at the bank. The teller is espousing Virtues but I can’t hear him over my squeaking reeboks
I’ve teamed up with Hinge to send four strapping corsairs to their watery grave
December 13, 2025 at 9:50 PM
I’ve teamed up with Hinge to send four strapping corsairs to their watery grave
NYT editors are cranking keys like they’re playing the fugue. Meanwhile, I’m smacking my ass and calling it Sunday Morning. . Holler for more.
December 13, 2025 at 6:07 AM
NYT editors are cranking keys like they’re playing the fugue. Meanwhile, I’m smacking my ass and calling it Sunday Morning. . Holler for more.
Three year hiatus for the sake of the skuzz. This is the saeculo saeculorum
December 12, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Three year hiatus for the sake of the skuzz. This is the saeculo saeculorum
14 pantsuit baddies in my situation room watching a Frame by Frame breakdown of my Norwood 4
December 12, 2025 at 10:52 PM
14 pantsuit baddies in my situation room watching a Frame by Frame breakdown of my Norwood 4
Boston dynamics robot howling with his arm halfway up the shitter. He doesn’t know what I know.
March 20, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Boston dynamics robot howling with his arm halfway up the shitter. He doesn’t know what I know.
The pope of evolutionary psychology dispensed all my sins because 14 million years ago a pterodactyl stole my girlfriend.
February 18, 2025 at 6:01 PM
The pope of evolutionary psychology dispensed all my sins because 14 million years ago a pterodactyl stole my girlfriend.
Toy Story 8: Skuzz Lightyear gets fucking drafted. He was mama’s own blue eyed baby boy.
February 18, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Toy Story 8: Skuzz Lightyear gets fucking drafted. He was mama’s own blue eyed baby boy.
Workplace copier is asking me to rate my experience of shredding my own nuts
February 7, 2025 at 4:07 PM
Workplace copier is asking me to rate my experience of shredding my own nuts
The local QT roller grill is a UNESCO world heritage site
January 24, 2025 at 6:10 PM
The local QT roller grill is a UNESCO world heritage site
“Mirth is king” how about you inspect my jungle of ass hair
January 23, 2025 at 2:57 PM
“Mirth is king” how about you inspect my jungle of ass hair
Fingering my belly button down the knuckle. Passive income has opened many doors for me.
January 23, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Fingering my belly button down the knuckle. Passive income has opened many doors for me.
Training my millipede armada to fetch coins and other sundries
January 23, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Training my millipede armada to fetch coins and other sundries