bill wurtz quotes
@billwurtzquotes.bsky.social
not bill wurtz himself. just quotes. not a bot. one quote per day from our lord and savior @billwurtz.com. she/her
love is like ketchup. you can buy a big bottle at the store, or you can get it for free in small packets at the drive through
May 1, 2025 at 1:25 PM
love is like ketchup. you can buy a big bottle at the store, or you can get it for free in small packets at the drive through
11.28.24 2:18 pm how are you so cool
that's your fault
that's your fault
April 30, 2025 at 3:53 PM
11.28.24 2:18 pm how are you so cool
that's your fault
that's your fault
hello, hello, hello, hello, hello,
i wanna know why it hurts so bad
i wanna know why it hurts so bad
April 28, 2025 at 2:18 AM
hello, hello, hello, hello, hello,
i wanna know why it hurts so bad
i wanna know why it hurts so bad
oo, ah, oh, ee
my calendar is telling me it's the future
somewhere there's a second scene
with characters that never speak
but you still know exactly what they mean
and you still know exactly what the story will be
my calendar is telling me it's the future
somewhere there's a second scene
with characters that never speak
but you still know exactly what they mean
and you still know exactly what the story will be
April 26, 2025 at 12:10 PM
oo, ah, oh, ee
my calendar is telling me it's the future
somewhere there's a second scene
with characters that never speak
but you still know exactly what they mean
and you still know exactly what the story will be
my calendar is telling me it's the future
somewhere there's a second scene
with characters that never speak
but you still know exactly what they mean
and you still know exactly what the story will be
just did a strange thing
now everything's pink
now everything's pink
April 25, 2025 at 2:18 PM
just did a strange thing
now everything's pink
now everything's pink
i work at a used car dealership. i'm the "car user." how do you think all those cars get used? someone's gotta do it
April 24, 2025 at 5:36 PM
i work at a used car dealership. i'm the "car user." how do you think all those cars get used? someone's gotta do it
4.10.25 2:59 pm mmmmmmm, birb 🕊️
oh i always thought that was a dird
oh i always thought that was a dird
April 18, 2025 at 2:53 PM
4.10.25 2:59 pm mmmmmmm, birb 🕊️
oh i always thought that was a dird
oh i always thought that was a dird
waiter "hey folks, time for desert?"
f1, f2 in unison "no way"
waiter "ok, thanks for keeping me informed"
pause
f2: "the world's not ending tomorrow, right?"
f1: "no"
f1, f2 in unison "no way"
waiter "ok, thanks for keeping me informed"
pause
f2: "the world's not ending tomorrow, right?"
f1: "no"
April 17, 2025 at 12:45 AM
waiter "hey folks, time for desert?"
f1, f2 in unison "no way"
waiter "ok, thanks for keeping me informed"
pause
f2: "the world's not ending tomorrow, right?"
f1: "no"
f1, f2 in unison "no way"
waiter "ok, thanks for keeping me informed"
pause
f2: "the world's not ending tomorrow, right?"
f1: "no"
and the birds are made of trees
think i've explained this
and they fly around on an airplane in the business class section
and the ants crawl on the earth's surface
and the turtles roll through the street
and the orchestra's playing symphonies for free
and the church holds the key
think i've explained this
and they fly around on an airplane in the business class section
and the ants crawl on the earth's surface
and the turtles roll through the street
and the orchestra's playing symphonies for free
and the church holds the key
April 15, 2025 at 7:51 PM
and the birds are made of trees
think i've explained this
and they fly around on an airplane in the business class section
and the ants crawl on the earth's surface
and the turtles roll through the street
and the orchestra's playing symphonies for free
and the church holds the key
think i've explained this
and they fly around on an airplane in the business class section
and the ants crawl on the earth's surface
and the turtles roll through the street
and the orchestra's playing symphonies for free
and the church holds the key
4.13.25 1:25 pm why have you mentioned going to hell in multiple songs
going to hell is iconic
going to hell is iconic
April 14, 2025 at 5:42 PM
4.13.25 1:25 pm why have you mentioned going to hell in multiple songs
going to hell is iconic
going to hell is iconic
i will send a postcard to a vacation. sometimes you gotta make the first move
April 13, 2025 at 6:04 PM
i will send a postcard to a vacation. sometimes you gotta make the first move
i wonder what would happen if you took soap, and combined it with soap, and merged their properties and characteristics.
it's something to think about.
it's something to think about.
April 12, 2025 at 1:43 PM
i wonder what would happen if you took soap, and combined it with soap, and merged their properties and characteristics.
it's something to think about.
it's something to think about.
4.10.25 6:08 pm Thank you for your wonderful songs
don't worry i'm doing more, just in case you might feel that way
don't worry i'm doing more, just in case you might feel that way
April 11, 2025 at 9:14 AM
4.10.25 6:08 pm Thank you for your wonderful songs
don't worry i'm doing more, just in case you might feel that way
don't worry i'm doing more, just in case you might feel that way
the grass is always green
but i just changed it
to remind me of the way it was when the world was younger
and the TV's on the radio
and the telephone's on the stereo
and the leaves turn to a colorful shade of turquoise
but i just changed it
to remind me of the way it was when the world was younger
and the TV's on the radio
and the telephone's on the stereo
and the leaves turn to a colorful shade of turquoise
April 9, 2025 at 8:56 PM
the grass is always green
but i just changed it
to remind me of the way it was when the world was younger
and the TV's on the radio
and the telephone's on the stereo
and the leaves turn to a colorful shade of turquoise
but i just changed it
to remind me of the way it was when the world was younger
and the TV's on the radio
and the telephone's on the stereo
and the leaves turn to a colorful shade of turquoise
hahahahahahahahahahaha
April 8, 2025 at 9:48 PM
hahahahahahahahahahaha
sometimes when you put money in the bank it goes out the other side
April 7, 2025 at 5:19 PM
sometimes when you put money in the bank it goes out the other side
4.5.25 1:25 pm What is the best time?
possibly the future
possibly the future
April 6, 2025 at 2:00 PM
4.5.25 1:25 pm What is the best time?
possibly the future
possibly the future
[cat looks up from newspaper] i should start doing memes
April 4, 2025 at 12:11 AM
[cat looks up from newspaper] i should start doing memes
4.1.25 1:58 am What is the most exotic instrument you've played?
jeans
jeans
April 2, 2025 at 4:04 PM
4.1.25 1:58 am What is the most exotic instrument you've played?
jeans
jeans
it's not april, april fools yes it is
April 1, 2025 at 4:53 PM
it's not april, april fools yes it is
when 2 politicians fall in love, they put on some real sexy music and vote for each other
March 30, 2025 at 11:26 PM
when 2 politicians fall in love, they put on some real sexy music and vote for each other