•tristan (26)
@bfddlskej.bsky.social
he/him • 26 • autistic ednos, ocd, social anxiety haver
Just a secretive relapser looking for community. TW: eating disorder relapse. Normal bmi.
Just a secretive relapser looking for community. TW: eating disorder relapse. Normal bmi.
I had a CLOSED bag of durian candy in my bedroom overnight 1 year ago in a different apartment and I swear to god I still get whiffs of it sometimes when I walk into my room, like it permanently adhered itself to my belongings
December 5, 2025 at 9:39 PM
I had a CLOSED bag of durian candy in my bedroom overnight 1 year ago in a different apartment and I swear to god I still get whiffs of it sometimes when I walk into my room, like it permanently adhered itself to my belongings
Things have been going bad 👍
December 3, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Things have been going bad 👍
Thinking about this messy boy I saw online today! So cute
November 15, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Thinking about this messy boy I saw online today! So cute
Exploiting my favorite loophole of buying beer with no nutrition label = I lie to myself and pretend it has no calories
Boyfriend is gonna have a friend over. I'm shy without a drink. Can't really afford to spend the cals on it though. Unless I can convince myself to make a new rule that social drinks don't count. But that's kind of ridiculous. Less ridiculous than isolating myself though...
November 15, 2025 at 2:19 AM
Exploiting my favorite loophole of buying beer with no nutrition label = I lie to myself and pretend it has no calories
Boyfriend is gonna have a friend over. I'm shy without a drink. Can't really afford to spend the cals on it though. Unless I can convince myself to make a new rule that social drinks don't count. But that's kind of ridiculous. Less ridiculous than isolating myself though...
November 15, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Boyfriend is gonna have a friend over. I'm shy without a drink. Can't really afford to spend the cals on it though. Unless I can convince myself to make a new rule that social drinks don't count. But that's kind of ridiculous. Less ridiculous than isolating myself though...
Patiently waiting for the rice to cook even though I'm not eating any.....
I just want to, idk, hang out with it
I just want to, idk, hang out with it
November 13, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Patiently waiting for the rice to cook even though I'm not eating any.....
I just want to, idk, hang out with it
I just want to, idk, hang out with it
I feel somehow feel guilty about eating 492 c4lories the other day even though my goal was 500. I should have ended it closer to 450.
Isn't that stupid? Objectively that's stupid isn't it
Isn't that stupid? Objectively that's stupid isn't it
November 13, 2025 at 5:37 PM
I feel somehow feel guilty about eating 492 c4lories the other day even though my goal was 500. I should have ended it closer to 450.
Isn't that stupid? Objectively that's stupid isn't it
Isn't that stupid? Objectively that's stupid isn't it
Lately I have been having fun and exciting dreams... A welcome change of pace from my usual nightly rotation of Apocalypse, Abandonment, Childhood School and Hospital Hallways
November 12, 2025 at 6:10 PM
Lately I have been having fun and exciting dreams... A welcome change of pace from my usual nightly rotation of Apocalypse, Abandonment, Childhood School and Hospital Hallways
Reposted by •tristan (26)
I'm not a violent cat. I don't know why I scratch.
November 11, 2025 at 11:04 PM
I'm not a violent cat. I don't know why I scratch.
Reposted by •tristan (26)
sorry for the long vent. on my vent account
November 11, 2025 at 5:29 PM
sorry for the long vent. on my vent account
I smoked a joint and changed my mind. ㅇCD is stupid and I no longer have it. I'm going to have a banh mi for lunch
November 9, 2025 at 7:22 PM
I smoked a joint and changed my mind. ㅇCD is stupid and I no longer have it. I'm going to have a banh mi for lunch
I hope I feel super fucking normal after a joint. Otherwise I will be back with 10 more vent posts about my stupid fucking loser brain
November 9, 2025 at 6:47 PM
I hope I feel super fucking normal after a joint. Otherwise I will be back with 10 more vent posts about my stupid fucking loser brain
I can't even be ED-normal and be like "any deficit is a good deficit" NO I HAVE TO DO THE RITUALS PERFECTLY BECAUSE THE 0CD IS VERY LOUD
November 9, 2025 at 6:42 PM
I can't even be ED-normal and be like "any deficit is a good deficit" NO I HAVE TO DO THE RITUALS PERFECTLY BECAUSE THE 0CD IS VERY LOUD
Made the same mistake twice. A good day with a lot of caffeine and then a sugar binge at night. This time was worse, I was still snacking after midnight, ruining the next day's cal count too. Really hate that. That's 3 binge days in a row on a 10 day diet. Should I just start over on it?
November 9, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Made the same mistake twice. A good day with a lot of caffeine and then a sugar binge at night. This time was worse, I was still snacking after midnight, ruining the next day's cal count too. Really hate that. That's 3 binge days in a row on a 10 day diet. Should I just start over on it?
Last night I had beer and candy and cookies and pastries and turkey bacon and rice and buttered crackers...
Bad choices for sure but still within my TDEE of ~2000 cals so I'm not going to let it ruin my day (manifesting)
Bad choices for sure but still within my TDEE of ~2000 cals so I'm not going to let it ruin my day (manifesting)
November 8, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Last night I had beer and candy and cookies and pastries and turkey bacon and rice and buttered crackers...
Bad choices for sure but still within my TDEE of ~2000 cals so I'm not going to let it ruin my day (manifesting)
Bad choices for sure but still within my TDEE of ~2000 cals so I'm not going to let it ruin my day (manifesting)
I want to go a little crazy... unfortunately I can only go a big crazy.
November 8, 2025 at 3:13 AM
I want to go a little crazy... unfortunately I can only go a big crazy.
Guilty of buying a bunch of junk food while/because I'm restricting 🤔🤔🤔 why am bad at being normal
November 8, 2025 at 2:45 AM
Guilty of buying a bunch of junk food while/because I'm restricting 🤔🤔🤔 why am bad at being normal
The fall air is immaculate today. Crispy like an apple
November 7, 2025 at 8:08 PM
The fall air is immaculate today. Crispy like an apple
Beat the 1am cravings last night with a pickle, a candy, and tea ✌️ for 32cals. It was almost bad
November 7, 2025 at 3:54 PM
Beat the 1am cravings last night with a pickle, a candy, and tea ✌️ for 32cals. It was almost bad
Last time I hit 149 I was like "I swear I'll never be in the 150s again" and then rather promptly returned to 157.
BUT THIS TIME... 😈
BUT THIS TIME... 😈
November 6, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Last time I hit 149 I was like "I swear I'll never be in the 150s again" and then rather promptly returned to 157.
BUT THIS TIME... 😈
BUT THIS TIME... 😈
Speaking of salted....
Yesterday I got salted duck eggs at a local asian grocery. I love salted egg flavor but I don't know what to eat them with except rice, and rice is really hard to eat on a ~500c diiet without doing ㅇmad🤔
I might not be able to have one for another week. But I crave it...
Yesterday I got salted duck eggs at a local asian grocery. I love salted egg flavor but I don't know what to eat them with except rice, and rice is really hard to eat on a ~500c diiet without doing ㅇmad🤔
I might not be able to have one for another week. But I crave it...
November 6, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Speaking of salted....
Yesterday I got salted duck eggs at a local asian grocery. I love salted egg flavor but I don't know what to eat them with except rice, and rice is really hard to eat on a ~500c diiet without doing ㅇmad🤔
I might not be able to have one for another week. But I crave it...
Yesterday I got salted duck eggs at a local asian grocery. I love salted egg flavor but I don't know what to eat them with except rice, and rice is really hard to eat on a ~500c diiet without doing ㅇmad🤔
I might not be able to have one for another week. But I crave it...
It just occurred to me, "why don't they make electrolyte candies?"
...Turns out they do, they're just marketed at absolute fuck-you prices considering they're literally just salted gummies.
...Turns out they do, they're just marketed at absolute fuck-you prices considering they're literally just salted gummies.
November 6, 2025 at 5:36 PM
It just occurred to me, "why don't they make electrolyte candies?"
...Turns out they do, they're just marketed at absolute fuck-you prices considering they're literally just salted gummies.
...Turns out they do, they're just marketed at absolute fuck-you prices considering they're literally just salted gummies.
Doing this again because [refuses to explain]
November 5, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Doing this again because [refuses to explain]