Becca Barnes
@beccabarnes.bsky.social
BeccaBarnesCats @ the former bird place. Cat fan. New Zealand Writers Guild. Denny’s VIP.
We should all just admit that we suck at picking ripe vegetables in our gardens because we don’t like plants telling us what to do
January 6, 2026 at 3:30 AM
We should all just admit that we suck at picking ripe vegetables in our gardens because we don’t like plants telling us what to do
While the weather is bad I will just do some nice relaxing baking with the toddler
[cue the least relaxing 25 mins of my life]
[cue the least relaxing 25 mins of my life]
January 3, 2026 at 3:12 AM
While the weather is bad I will just do some nice relaxing baking with the toddler
[cue the least relaxing 25 mins of my life]
[cue the least relaxing 25 mins of my life]
You are at the beach and go to the public toilets. Do you pick:
a) the blocked toilet
b) the one with the door that won’t lock
or
c) this one
a) the blocked toilet
b) the one with the door that won’t lock
or
c) this one
January 1, 2026 at 10:22 PM
You are at the beach and go to the public toilets. Do you pick:
a) the blocked toilet
b) the one with the door that won’t lock
or
c) this one
a) the blocked toilet
b) the one with the door that won’t lock
or
c) this one
Me, Jan 1 2016, rottenly hungover: i just want to go to bed
Me Jan 1 2026, a toddler parent: i just want to go to bed
Me Jan 1 2026, a toddler parent: i just want to go to bed
January 1, 2026 at 3:04 AM
Me, Jan 1 2016, rottenly hungover: i just want to go to bed
Me Jan 1 2026, a toddler parent: i just want to go to bed
Me Jan 1 2026, a toddler parent: i just want to go to bed
May 2026 bring that thing that most of the world wants
December 31, 2025 at 11:42 AM
May 2026 bring that thing that most of the world wants
Sorry but I won’t be celebrating New Year’s until my household runs out of delicious Christmas treats because that’s the only time I can set an intention to be healthier 🤷🏻♀️
December 31, 2025 at 8:25 AM
Sorry but I won’t be celebrating New Year’s until my household runs out of delicious Christmas treats because that’s the only time I can set an intention to be healthier 🤷🏻♀️
Look I don’t want to scare anyone, but Countdown was entirely sold out of onion soup mix just then
December 30, 2025 at 3:55 AM
Look I don’t want to scare anyone, but Countdown was entirely sold out of onion soup mix just then
Fish & chip shop in Mosgiel still includes beef in their chicken burger unless you remember to say no beef 🤷🏻♀️
December 28, 2025 at 7:32 AM
Fish & chip shop in Mosgiel still includes beef in their chicken burger unless you remember to say no beef 🤷🏻♀️
I just walked into the loos at Otago Museum and my toddler shouted “MAMA POO!!!” 🤦♀️
December 27, 2025 at 11:03 PM
I just walked into the loos at Otago Museum and my toddler shouted “MAMA POO!!!” 🤦♀️
Santa has one more gift for everyone yet to come. It’s horrible acne from all the Xmas sugar that will look its worst on New Year’s Eve 👍
December 26, 2025 at 8:51 PM
Santa has one more gift for everyone yet to come. It’s horrible acne from all the Xmas sugar that will look its worst on New Year’s Eve 👍
I can hear my toddler running through my parents’ house screaming “MINE! MINE! MIIIIINE!” at something but they’re currently in charge of him, so **sips craft beer** 🤷🏻♀️
December 26, 2025 at 6:18 AM
I can hear my toddler running through my parents’ house screaming “MINE! MINE! MIIIIINE!” at something but they’re currently in charge of him, so **sips craft beer** 🤷🏻♀️
When the thunder is so scary you are shaking/hiding and won’t even eat your Christmas ham sliver 😭
December 25, 2025 at 6:35 AM
When the thunder is so scary you are shaking/hiding and won’t even eat your Christmas ham sliver 😭
My mum’s terrified dog disagrees
December 25, 2025 at 5:02 AM
My mum’s terrified dog disagrees
It is hailing in Mosgiel so we are technically having a white Christmas in NZ 😂
December 25, 2025 at 4:48 AM
It is hailing in Mosgiel so we are technically having a white Christmas in NZ 😂
I am amused to see quite a few David Walliams books popping up on marketplace!
December 23, 2025 at 8:13 PM
I am amused to see quite a few David Walliams books popping up on marketplace!
Me: I will eat sensibly this holiday season and remember to have some greens because I am old and will suffer if not
Also me, 2 days in, with an open bag of gingerbread popcorn and block of chocolate: oh no
Also me, 2 days in, with an open bag of gingerbread popcorn and block of chocolate: oh no
December 20, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Me: I will eat sensibly this holiday season and remember to have some greens because I am old and will suffer if not
Also me, 2 days in, with an open bag of gingerbread popcorn and block of chocolate: oh no
Also me, 2 days in, with an open bag of gingerbread popcorn and block of chocolate: oh no
Me trying to convince myself I won't overwrite something
December 17, 2025 at 9:32 PM
Me trying to convince myself I won't overwrite something
Topping up the year’s stats with a total of 4 times the toddler has been bitten, and only once doing the biting! Just one daycare day left in 2025, are these our final bite numbers??
December 17, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Topping up the year’s stats with a total of 4 times the toddler has been bitten, and only once doing the biting! Just one daycare day left in 2025, are these our final bite numbers??
Can’t wait to fly home to Mosgiel next week to order a fish and chip shop chicken burger to see if it still inexplicably also comes with a beef patty!
December 16, 2025 at 9:29 AM
Can’t wait to fly home to Mosgiel next week to order a fish and chip shop chicken burger to see if it still inexplicably also comes with a beef patty!
I don’t tend to have hangovers after Christmas Day, but I’ll certainly have a hamover 🐖
December 16, 2025 at 7:26 AM
I don’t tend to have hangovers after Christmas Day, but I’ll certainly have a hamover 🐖
Love sending a new story out into my lil feedback loop to get destroyed by my writing buddies so I can patch it up and make it stronger <3 <3 <3
December 14, 2025 at 11:28 PM
Love sending a new story out into my lil feedback loop to get destroyed by my writing buddies so I can patch it up and make it stronger <3 <3 <3
As a toddler parent, waiting for streaming and watching it in like 5 stints minimum is nottttttt appealing.
December 14, 2025 at 10:21 PM
As a toddler parent, waiting for streaming and watching it in like 5 stints minimum is nottttttt appealing.
Thoughts are with Bondi affected people and by that I mean I literally can't stop thinking about it. Just the worst.
December 14, 2025 at 8:48 PM
Thoughts are with Bondi affected people and by that I mean I literally can't stop thinking about it. Just the worst.
The toddler started work at 6am this morning, conceived a new franchise spin-off: SNAKES ON A TRAIN. Had to break to him that it has been done.
December 14, 2025 at 8:34 PM
The toddler started work at 6am this morning, conceived a new franchise spin-off: SNAKES ON A TRAIN. Had to break to him that it has been done.
That was me 2 days ago after mine, trying to convince myself I was fine when I was actually The Walking Dead
December 13, 2025 at 1:45 AM
That was me 2 days ago after mine, trying to convince myself I was fine when I was actually The Walking Dead