Jacob, obviously
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baconmajored.bsky.social
Jacob, obviously
@baconmajored.bsky.social
31. DFW. TX. NB. The less you know about me the better tbh
Pinned
Remember me not only for who I was, but for everything I stood for
I NEED a keychain of the sealing staff from Cardcaptor Sakura
February 7, 2026 at 7:14 PM
And where were you during the great Tumblr outage of 2026??
February 7, 2026 at 12:37 AM
And just like that, the numbness creeps in
January 24, 2026 at 8:09 PM
Anyway, I'm brushing up on my sight reading skills and it's great knowing I've been a beginner for nearly 20 years
January 24, 2026 at 4:23 PM
I never have thoughts for this corner of the Internet tbh
January 24, 2026 at 4:22 PM
Should I be mad that we won't have an autumn this year??
November 21, 2025 at 8:28 PM
I mean
November 8, 2025 at 5:23 AM
Lounging naked just to feel something
November 8, 2025 at 4:58 AM
Aging gracefully sometimes means snoozing your alarm 3 times and waking up an hour after you were supposed to
October 28, 2025 at 12:29 PM
When your undiagnosed mental illness becomes diagnosed, but you can't really take care of it for the time being
October 28, 2025 at 5:45 AM
Satisfied my dick craving I guess?
October 28, 2025 at 4:21 AM
Craving a grilled cheese and maybe some dick idk
October 27, 2025 at 7:05 PM
When my posts on the dying social blogging website without an algorithm get engagement
October 16, 2025 at 2:21 AM
So I went to a Chinese restaurant to buy a loaf of bread bread bread
October 16, 2025 at 2:13 AM
No seriously, you might be genuinely surprised at how well strawberries and sour cream work.
October 16, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Folks trolling on CK posts are lazier than ever!! You're doing this shit for free at least throw it back a little!!
September 13, 2025 at 3:07 AM
Anyone betting they were poisoning the old beast because he finally outlived his usefulness?? Haven't heard much about it so I'm betting 200 million to 1
September 1, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Was I horny when I took this?? Maybe. Idk.
August 29, 2025 at 4:15 AM
Oops, I went and made myself resentful. FUCK a W***** or a H***** y'all RUINED MY LIFE
That being said, sometimes those evening engagements will have you remembering their name for the rest of your lifetime so... Watch out
August 29, 2025 at 12:19 AM
All I'm trying to say is that being a hoe on the internet for daily engagement is sometimes more fun than being a hoe in real life for an evening engagement.
August 28, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Ooh wait there isn't a private bluesky setting is there??? Oh well
July 29, 2025 at 5:54 AM
Remember me not only for who I was, but for everything I stood for
July 27, 2025 at 4:48 AM
If y'all don't remember to put the Cupcakke remix for God is a Woman on my funeral playlist, I'm not going.
July 27, 2025 at 4:33 AM
New pfp btw if you even care
July 27, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Wartortle
July 27, 2025 at 3:27 AM