Ashlie Weeks, Esq.
@ashlieweeks.bsky.social
Lawyer advocate believer in truth justice facts accountability & the rule of law. Animal lover & baseball fan. I love watermelon. My country is in shambles. Quality dad jokes fashion & sports. Opinions mine not my employer's. Jason Statham stan account.
Pinned
The Epstein files are redacted so hard they look like televisions when they're turned off.
Was walking MACHETIE/this guy was standing on the sidewalk guarding a doody pile saying emphatically his GIRLFRIEND was going 2 get a bag I said np I have 1 & he's like my GIRLFRIEND won't need 2 come back. I'm like simmer down bro I'm just giving u a dog poop bag not mounting u on the sidewalk.
February 15, 2026 at 4:58 PM
Was walking MACHETIE/this guy was standing on the sidewalk guarding a doody pile saying emphatically his GIRLFRIEND was going 2 get a bag I said np I have 1 & he's like my GIRLFRIEND won't need 2 come back. I'm like simmer down bro I'm just giving u a dog poop bag not mounting u on the sidewalk.
Jason Statham is my favorite action hero. I would literally watch him do an entire action sequence in a utility closet for 2 hours. There is no debate. He's the bestest.
February 15, 2026 at 2:39 PM
Jason Statham is my favorite action hero. I would literally watch him do an entire action sequence in a utility closet for 2 hours. There is no debate. He's the bestest.
This is honestly outside of my lane
I forget - Can you catch brain worms from a toilet seat? (Asking for a friend.)
February 14, 2026 at 8:05 PM
This is honestly outside of my lane
I think it bears repeating the nutter who's over this nation's entire health system was a heroine addict for over 20 years and did lines off of public toilet seats and has brain worms.
February 14, 2026 at 7:40 PM
I think it bears repeating the nutter who's over this nation's entire health system was a heroine addict for over 20 years and did lines off of public toilet seats and has brain worms.
I've started learning Spanish so every MAGA person I encounter I can irritate them by only speaking Spanish.
I am working hard on my petty so Bad Bunny, 50 Cent, Eminem and Kendrick Lamar are proud of their lil sista.
I am working hard on my petty so Bad Bunny, 50 Cent, Eminem and Kendrick Lamar are proud of their lil sista.
February 14, 2026 at 4:57 PM
I've started learning Spanish so every MAGA person I encounter I can irritate them by only speaking Spanish.
I am working hard on my petty so Bad Bunny, 50 Cent, Eminem and Kendrick Lamar are proud of their lil sista.
I am working hard on my petty so Bad Bunny, 50 Cent, Eminem and Kendrick Lamar are proud of their lil sista.
Pam Bondi masks will sell out for Halloween this year. Instead of saying trick or treat everyone just hollers the Dow is at 50,000!
February 14, 2026 at 4:39 PM
Pam Bondi masks will sell out for Halloween this year. Instead of saying trick or treat everyone just hollers the Dow is at 50,000!
A giant ball of snow fell on top of Machetie's giant block noggin from on top of a building while on our daily constitutional and he looked back at me like it was my fault.
I control the snow.
All hail the Snow Queen.
I control the snow.
All hail the Snow Queen.
February 14, 2026 at 4:16 PM
A giant ball of snow fell on top of Machetie's giant block noggin from on top of a building while on our daily constitutional and he looked back at me like it was my fault.
I control the snow.
All hail the Snow Queen.
I control the snow.
All hail the Snow Queen.
Me as a horse
Super extra
Super extra
February 14, 2026 at 1:25 PM
Me as a horse
Super extra
Super extra
How to escape as a legend
February 14, 2026 at 3:35 AM
How to escape as a legend
Find you a bestie who can match your energy
February 13, 2026 at 8:45 PM
Find you a bestie who can match your energy
If Trump can point to Hungary on a map I'll eat my car.
February 13, 2026 at 6:38 PM
If Trump can point to Hungary on a map I'll eat my car.
Every day gets stupider which is truly remarkable
February 13, 2026 at 6:36 PM
Every day gets stupider which is truly remarkable
Why can't we just rename the Oval Office to the Epstein Office
February 13, 2026 at 5:28 PM
Why can't we just rename the Oval Office to the Epstein Office
I can't tell the difference between Ted nugent and kid rock in pics. They both look like they've been on a week long bender huffing fluffy whip and bathing in public park toilets.
February 13, 2026 at 3:25 AM
I can't tell the difference between Ted nugent and kid rock in pics. They both look like they've been on a week long bender huffing fluffy whip and bathing in public park toilets.
I was 7 minutes tardy for their bedtime snack
February 12, 2026 at 11:31 PM
I was 7 minutes tardy for their bedtime snack
There are a million places for tiny dog to nap but he fell asleep intertwined in my legs. I had to wait for him to wake up since that's the law so my legs fell asleep. I think he's pretty content.
February 12, 2026 at 10:48 PM
There are a million places for tiny dog to nap but he fell asleep intertwined in my legs. I had to wait for him to wake up since that's the law so my legs fell asleep. I think he's pretty content.
Keep in mind ppl: Bondi is operating untethered 2 the law bc she has a preemptive pardon from Trump w all his cronies. This is something Congress/state govts will need 2b prepared 2 handle. LIKE PREPARE NOW. Y'all failed massively last time. That's why we're here. Trump has pardoned himself too.
February 12, 2026 at 2:25 PM
Keep in mind ppl: Bondi is operating untethered 2 the law bc she has a preemptive pardon from Trump w all his cronies. This is something Congress/state govts will need 2b prepared 2 handle. LIKE PREPARE NOW. Y'all failed massively last time. That's why we're here. Trump has pardoned himself too.
Daggum the typos in this post. Daggum to heck.
And btw each individual lying statement is its own perjury count. Think how many times he's lied under oath. Under the law you don't get to aggregate them in one giant charge. It's analogous to fraud. Each perjurious stagnant is its own crime w the applicable penalty framework.
BREAKING: Congressman Ted Lieu just exposed Pam Bondi for lying under oath. This is a federal crime. Wow.
February 12, 2026 at 2:01 PM
Daggum the typos in this post. Daggum to heck.
Oh my holy lordt 😆
February 12, 2026 at 1:49 PM
Oh my holy lordt 😆
And his FiRST AG Elliot Richardson refused to fire the special prosecutor over Watergate when pressured by Nixon and then resigned as a result so he did not go to prison. He did the right thing. Looking for some redemption here with a second go around with this gal.
February 12, 2026 at 1:44 PM
And his FiRST AG Elliot Richardson refused to fire the special prosecutor over Watergate when pressured by Nixon and then resigned as a result so he did not go to prison. He did the right thing. Looking for some redemption here with a second go around with this gal.
And btw each individual lying statement is its own perjury count. Think how many times he's lied under oath. Under the law you don't get to aggregate them in one giant charge. It's analogous to fraud. Each perjurious stagnant is its own crime w the applicable penalty framework.
BREAKING: Congressman Ted Lieu just exposed Pam Bondi for lying under oath. This is a federal crime. Wow.
February 12, 2026 at 1:22 PM
And btw each individual lying statement is its own perjury count. Think how many times he's lied under oath. Under the law you don't get to aggregate them in one giant charge. It's analogous to fraud. Each perjurious stagnant is its own crime w the applicable penalty framework.
Donald Trump's cranium is the Bermuda Triangle of intelligent thought.
February 12, 2026 at 3:50 AM
Donald Trump's cranium is the Bermuda Triangle of intelligent thought.
I sure hope we bring back perjury as a crime for all of these lying liars.
February 12, 2026 at 2:46 AM
I sure hope we bring back perjury as a crime for all of these lying liars.
I'm a nerd in disguise. Major history buff plus I read a lot and drink hot tea like The Equalizer so we have a lot in common he and I...
I love learning new stuff like this - thank you! Looked up Bathory, first words I saw were “serial killer” and down the rabbit hole I go!
February 12, 2026 at 2:38 AM
I'm a nerd in disguise. Major history buff plus I read a lot and drink hot tea like The Equalizer so we have a lot in common he and I...