Ashlie Weeks, Esq.
@ashlieweeks.bsky.social
Lawyer advocate believer in truth justice facts evidence accountability & the rule of law. Animal lover & patent inventor. I love watermelon. My country is in shambles. Quality dad jokes fashion & sports. Opinions mine not my employer's.
Pinned
The Epstein files are redacted so hard they look like televisions when they're turned off.
Stress levels are extremely high for tiny dog.
December 31, 2025 at 9:34 PM
Stress levels are extremely high for tiny dog.
I have some equally breaking news: the sun is hot.
December 29, 2025 at 4:25 PM
I have some equally breaking news: the sun is hot.
It looks like Epstein is occasionally showing up in the Trump files.
December 27, 2025 at 4:40 PM
It looks like Epstein is occasionally showing up in the Trump files.
The DOD's budget is almost 1 trillion dollars. Surely at least a quarter of that goes toward Hegsangria's bar tab.
December 26, 2025 at 10:58 PM
The DOD's budget is almost 1 trillion dollars. Surely at least a quarter of that goes toward Hegsangria's bar tab.
I'm probably not going to get 2 elephants again for Christmas this year.
Everything sucks.
Everything sucks.
December 24, 2025 at 10:18 PM
I'm probably not going to get 2 elephants again for Christmas this year.
Everything sucks.
Everything sucks.
I want to wish our brother, the sandwich thrower, the most joyous of holidays and blessings galore for 2026.
December 24, 2025 at 4:05 PM
I want to wish our brother, the sandwich thrower, the most joyous of holidays and blessings galore for 2026.
Prejudices are what fools use for reason.
-Voltaire
-Voltaire
December 23, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Prejudices are what fools use for reason.
-Voltaire
-Voltaire
I'd rather be pelted with wrenches from head to toe while being doused with lye and being forced to eat paint chips while standing on hot coals while a team of juvenile delinquents blast me with water bazookas filled with sulfuric acid.
December 23, 2025 at 10:36 PM
I'd rather be pelted with wrenches from head to toe while being doused with lye and being forced to eat paint chips while standing on hot coals while a team of juvenile delinquents blast me with water bazookas filled with sulfuric acid.
So we have to go back and forth to Canada to watch tv to get truthful news about all the criminals in charge of our country
December 23, 2025 at 7:23 PM
So we have to go back and forth to Canada to watch tv to get truthful news about all the criminals in charge of our country
I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season except all the obvious a**holes.
December 23, 2025 at 4:38 PM
I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season except all the obvious a**holes.
To everyone who confirmed Pam Bondi:
I want to congratulate you on your limitless ignorance & sycophancy not to mention your stunning display of individual & group stupidity.
This will go down as one of the dumbest confirmations in history next to Hegsangria.
I want to congratulate you on your limitless ignorance & sycophancy not to mention your stunning display of individual & group stupidity.
This will go down as one of the dumbest confirmations in history next to Hegsangria.
December 22, 2025 at 10:25 PM
To everyone who confirmed Pam Bondi:
I want to congratulate you on your limitless ignorance & sycophancy not to mention your stunning display of individual & group stupidity.
This will go down as one of the dumbest confirmations in history next to Hegsangria.
I want to congratulate you on your limitless ignorance & sycophancy not to mention your stunning display of individual & group stupidity.
This will go down as one of the dumbest confirmations in history next to Hegsangria.
I don't like to brag and be all look at me but I can point out a giraffe AND a whole battleship.
December 22, 2025 at 6:22 PM
I don't like to brag and be all look at me but I can point out a giraffe AND a whole battleship.
Reposted by Ashlie Weeks, Esq.
Try embroidering after you make me some butta!
December 22, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Try embroidering after you make me some butta!
My bff pays for my Netflix bc I'm a cheap ass & don't pay for apps & she switched phone carriers/her Netflix is on that plan. My Netflix went out @ a critical moment & I'm like when is this getting fixed. I'm living in Medieval times here really. I guess I'll go outside & churn some butter.
plan.my
December 22, 2025 at 4:59 PM
My bff pays for my Netflix bc I'm a cheap ass & don't pay for apps & she switched phone carriers/her Netflix is on that plan. My Netflix went out @ a critical moment & I'm like when is this getting fixed. I'm living in Medieval times here really. I guess I'll go outside & churn some butter.
Oh Lordt he's got the tiny hands
December 22, 2025 at 2:50 PM
Oh Lordt he's got the tiny hands
Party host: Ash, did you eat all the sweet potato pie so no one else could have any
Me:
Me:
December 21, 2025 at 9:55 PM
Party host: Ash, did you eat all the sweet potato pie so no one else could have any
Me:
Me:
Stephen Miller's birth certificate found on the derelict ship in "Alien"
December 21, 2025 at 6:47 PM
Stephen Miller's birth certificate found on the derelict ship in "Alien"
My bff is heading to her family's for Christmas and 1 dog is having an existential crisis, one is going to murder her tonight in her sleep and the one in the back is just excited to be alive.
December 20, 2025 at 6:22 PM
My bff is heading to her family's for Christmas and 1 dog is having an existential crisis, one is going to murder her tonight in her sleep and the one in the back is just excited to be alive.
The Epstein files are redacted so hard they look like televisions when they're turned off.
December 20, 2025 at 4:10 PM
The Epstein files are redacted so hard they look like televisions when they're turned off.
That's because he hasn't done anything illegal ffs
December 18, 2025 at 8:48 PM
That's because he hasn't done anything illegal ffs
Things my 115 lb staffie is not afraid of:
Intruders
Weapons
Attackers
Vans too close to us on our walk
Armies of soldiers
Bazookas
T Rex
Afraid of:
Paint rollers
Paper airplanes
Dishwasher
Smoke detector beeping sound
Large clear plastic containers
Getting his ears cleaned
Paper towels
Intruders
Weapons
Attackers
Vans too close to us on our walk
Armies of soldiers
Bazookas
T Rex
Afraid of:
Paint rollers
Paper airplanes
Dishwasher
Smoke detector beeping sound
Large clear plastic containers
Getting his ears cleaned
Paper towels
December 18, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Things my 115 lb staffie is not afraid of:
Intruders
Weapons
Attackers
Vans too close to us on our walk
Armies of soldiers
Bazookas
T Rex
Afraid of:
Paint rollers
Paper airplanes
Dishwasher
Smoke detector beeping sound
Large clear plastic containers
Getting his ears cleaned
Paper towels
Intruders
Weapons
Attackers
Vans too close to us on our walk
Armies of soldiers
Bazookas
T Rex
Afraid of:
Paint rollers
Paper airplanes
Dishwasher
Smoke detector beeping sound
Large clear plastic containers
Getting his ears cleaned
Paper towels
Of all the things I was never going to ever watch this was the one I was not going to watch the mostest
December 17, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Of all the things I was never going to ever watch this was the one I was not going to watch the mostest