Ariel Elias
@arielcomedy.bsky.social
Punchup.live/arielelias
Comedian, Kentucky, Jewish, Beer chugger
Comedian, Kentucky, Jewish, Beer chugger
Kid Rock: Why is every guy in America waiting on these chicks to turn 18? if there's grass on the field, play ball
Bad Bunny: if there's grass on the field, those are my dancers, please wait for them to leave before you start playing football again.
Bad Bunny: if there's grass on the field, those are my dancers, please wait for them to leave before you start playing football again.
February 9, 2026 at 3:55 AM
Kid Rock: Why is every guy in America waiting on these chicks to turn 18? if there's grass on the field, play ball
Bad Bunny: if there's grass on the field, those are my dancers, please wait for them to leave before you start playing football again.
Bad Bunny: if there's grass on the field, those are my dancers, please wait for them to leave before you start playing football again.
Watching the Winter Olympics because it looks warmer than here.
February 7, 2026 at 4:20 PM
Watching the Winter Olympics because it looks warmer than here.
Some anti-circumcision guy on Instagram posted a video of my circumcision joke and then cut off the punchline and HOW DOES HE NOT SEE THE IRONY
February 5, 2026 at 12:35 AM
Some anti-circumcision guy on Instagram posted a video of my circumcision joke and then cut off the punchline and HOW DOES HE NOT SEE THE IRONY
Kid Rock is exclusively for people who clap on the 1 and 3
February 4, 2026 at 10:35 PM
Kid Rock is exclusively for people who clap on the 1 and 3
I would pay all sorts of money to any woman on OF who would show me how to actually put in a Diva Cup.
February 4, 2026 at 4:37 PM
I would pay all sorts of money to any woman on OF who would show me how to actually put in a Diva Cup.
The true Melania documentary was the Epstein files we read along the way.
February 4, 2026 at 3:40 PM
The true Melania documentary was the Epstein files we read along the way.
Jewish holidays follow the lunar calendar, which also explains why our community has so few unplanned pregnancies.
January 28, 2026 at 10:05 PM
Jewish holidays follow the lunar calendar, which also explains why our community has so few unplanned pregnancies.
Making fun of Greg Bovino for being short is low hanging fruit. Which is good, because that's all he can reach.
January 27, 2026 at 11:15 PM
Making fun of Greg Bovino for being short is low hanging fruit. Which is good, because that's all he can reach.
If I'm understanding this correctly, it is in fact Greg Bovino who has to leave Minnesota and go back to where he came from.
January 27, 2026 at 4:59 PM
If I'm understanding this correctly, it is in fact Greg Bovino who has to leave Minnesota and go back to where he came from.
I had a Spanish professor once who told us that when the government is firing on its own citizens, the government has failed, not its citizens.
January 26, 2026 at 5:38 PM
I had a Spanish professor once who told us that when the government is firing on its own citizens, the government has failed, not its citizens.
Things are so upside-down right now, I'm over here like wake up people, the government is coming for your guns!
January 26, 2026 at 4:23 AM
Things are so upside-down right now, I'm over here like wake up people, the government is coming for your guns!
It's so hard to convey tone in text. Those flags should say "don't tread on ME"
January 25, 2026 at 3:55 PM
It's so hard to convey tone in text. Those flags should say "don't tread on ME"
I know things are bad because I felt like I needed a break from all this and thought, "ah yes there it is," as I hit play on a podcast about the Challenger disaster.
January 25, 2026 at 3:54 PM
I know things are bad because I felt like I needed a break from all this and thought, "ah yes there it is," as I hit play on a podcast about the Challenger disaster.
Wow it's like all those kids in schools got shot for nothing.
January 24, 2026 at 11:18 PM
Wow it's like all those kids in schools got shot for nothing.
I can't believe the secret to having good hair is literally just spending an hour making it look better
January 23, 2026 at 11:06 PM
I can't believe the secret to having good hair is literally just spending an hour making it look better
The one thing we don't have to worry about with Trump is him having the nuclear codes. Just based on the amount of typos in everything, there's no way he's gonna type in the codes right. How many chances do you think you get on that before it locks you out?
January 22, 2026 at 2:54 AM
The one thing we don't have to worry about with Trump is him having the nuclear codes. Just based on the amount of typos in everything, there's no way he's gonna type in the codes right. How many chances do you think you get on that before it locks you out?
Hey so I learned from history, can I please be excused from repeating it?
January 21, 2026 at 2:19 AM
Hey so I learned from history, can I please be excused from repeating it?
Never thought I'd long for the days when headlines warned that ice was disappearing
January 19, 2026 at 4:01 PM
Never thought I'd long for the days when headlines warned that ice was disappearing
Greg Bovino was accused of wearing a Nazi trench coat, but technically every trench coat he wears is a Nazi trench coat.
January 19, 2026 at 2:25 AM
Greg Bovino was accused of wearing a Nazi trench coat, but technically every trench coat he wears is a Nazi trench coat.
Yeah nice guys finish last. But bad boys end up having to run the race again because they got caught cheating.
January 18, 2026 at 10:54 PM
Yeah nice guys finish last. But bad boys end up having to run the race again because they got caught cheating.
I have a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that are now obsolete thanks to AI.
January 17, 2026 at 10:27 PM
I have a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that are now obsolete thanks to AI.
How are you gonna go after Minneapolis? those people have the cutest little accents and say oh gosh
January 16, 2026 at 5:12 PM
How are you gonna go after Minneapolis? those people have the cutest little accents and say oh gosh
Based on their vaccine beliefs, it makes sense that maga doesn't understand who gets absolute immunity.
January 15, 2026 at 6:07 PM
Based on their vaccine beliefs, it makes sense that maga doesn't understand who gets absolute immunity.
So many things are bad right now, including the fact that I can't finish Heated Rivalry until my parents are no longer visiting me.
January 14, 2026 at 4:44 PM
So many things are bad right now, including the fact that I can't finish Heated Rivalry until my parents are no longer visiting me.
Being a millennial means buying steps for my dog while not being able to afford a home with stairs.
January 14, 2026 at 4:41 PM
Being a millennial means buying steps for my dog while not being able to afford a home with stairs.