I’m 30yo and at the orthodontist because my permanent retainer came loose after 15 years.

The crazy thing is that the kids who are here with braces weren’t even born yet when I had mine 😭

No one told me my boyfriend’s friend group wanted to all do “cocktail attire” for tonight.

It was rainy so I opted for comfort. Going out with a bang like usual.

Saturday Vibes 😴🩵

Ladies, in 58 days, we get our men back.

Just gotta hang on for 58 more days of “DeVonta Smith” this and “Saquon Barkley” that. Stay strong, gals!

Everything I know about this NFL season is against my will. This is no exception.

How do I get more golf on my feed? I try searching for it to change my algorithm but all I’m seeing are photos of birds and Mt Rainier

Oh, so it’s Blue SKY, and not. Blue-ski. Got it. Noted.

Well, I guess you can add saving birds from hawks as well to my AM shenanigans.

This guy flew into the window trying to avoid a hawk. I put him in a safe place.

I felt like a weird, less cool pirate for a minute.

It’s 7:06am and I’ve eaten a churro and bread pudding for breakfast.

For most people, this would indicate a serious mental breakdown. For me, it’s just a normal Thursday.

Me showing up to a new social media site after barely using the others for the last two years