Jonathan Moore
@archparagon.bsky.social
Tell us a bit about yourself
November 10, 2025 at 5:39 PM
You know I have a suspicion...
*checks wikipedia*
Yup the nursery rhyme 'Rub a Dub Dub' is about three medieval dudes getting caught jorkin' it at a strip club.
*checks wikipedia*
Yup the nursery rhyme 'Rub a Dub Dub' is about three medieval dudes getting caught jorkin' it at a strip club.
November 7, 2025 at 5:05 PM
You know I have a suspicion...
*checks wikipedia*
Yup the nursery rhyme 'Rub a Dub Dub' is about three medieval dudes getting caught jorkin' it at a strip club.
*checks wikipedia*
Yup the nursery rhyme 'Rub a Dub Dub' is about three medieval dudes getting caught jorkin' it at a strip club.
Deadass, it be bussin' fr fr. No cap.
November 4, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Deadass, it be bussin' fr fr. No cap.
I'm not one for toilet humor but c'mon guys.
November 1, 2025 at 3:27 AM
I'm not one for toilet humor but c'mon guys.
Yamamoto watching Freeman's hit fly over the Dodgers' center field wall at 11:51pm.
October 28, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Yamamoto watching Freeman's hit fly over the Dodgers' center field wall at 11:51pm.
Lisa: Finished adding relaxing 60s & 70s pop songs to the baby's nap playlist. Beatles, Peter Paul & Mary, Bob Dylan. Plus that famous Candle song I like.
Jon: Candle in the Wind?
Lisa: No. Candle on the Water.
Jon: What the fuck is Candle on the Water?
Lisa: What the fuck is Candle in the Wind?
Jon: Candle in the Wind?
Lisa: No. Candle on the Water.
Jon: What the fuck is Candle on the Water?
Lisa: What the fuck is Candle in the Wind?
October 24, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Lisa: Finished adding relaxing 60s & 70s pop songs to the baby's nap playlist. Beatles, Peter Paul & Mary, Bob Dylan. Plus that famous Candle song I like.
Jon: Candle in the Wind?
Lisa: No. Candle on the Water.
Jon: What the fuck is Candle on the Water?
Lisa: What the fuck is Candle in the Wind?
Jon: Candle in the Wind?
Lisa: No. Candle on the Water.
Jon: What the fuck is Candle on the Water?
Lisa: What the fuck is Candle in the Wind?
pumpkin carving!
October 23, 2025 at 6:22 PM
pumpkin carving!
*Philip J. Fry voice*
you know that win wasn't as safe as they said it was.
you know that win wasn't as safe as they said it was.
October 19, 2025 at 8:42 PM
*Philip J. Fry voice*
you know that win wasn't as safe as they said it was.
you know that win wasn't as safe as they said it was.
The University of Virginia's rejection of the compact was too weak.
It needed more of a "Spreche Meinen besten Dank aus." aura.
It needed more of a "Spreche Meinen besten Dank aus." aura.
October 17, 2025 at 11:28 PM
The University of Virginia's rejection of the compact was too weak.
It needed more of a "Spreche Meinen besten Dank aus." aura.
It needed more of a "Spreche Meinen besten Dank aus." aura.
Quest Diagnostics in Los Angeles recently switched to fully AI automated, human-free customer service. Let's see how that's going.
October 10, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Quest Diagnostics in Los Angeles recently switched to fully AI automated, human-free customer service. Let's see how that's going.
My phone keeps autocorrecting 'happening' to 'Balenciaga', which means it thinks I'm living a widely different lifestyle than I truly am.
October 9, 2025 at 5:00 AM
My phone keeps autocorrecting 'happening' to 'Balenciaga', which means it thinks I'm living a widely different lifestyle than I truly am.
baby bottle warmer alternative use
October 8, 2025 at 5:53 PM
baby bottle warmer alternative use
this trilogy makes no sense
September 25, 2025 at 4:57 PM
this trilogy makes no sense
80% of parenting is saying "please don't stick your hand in that" as they ignore you
September 25, 2025 at 12:44 AM
80% of parenting is saying "please don't stick your hand in that" as they ignore you
*laughs in gilbert's*
September 23, 2025 at 9:30 PM
*laughs in gilbert's*
tbh I'm kinda surprised no one's selling LOL TRUMP'S DEAD yard signs *now* just to get ahead of the rush.
August 29, 2025 at 6:24 PM
tbh I'm kinda surprised no one's selling LOL TRUMP'S DEAD yard signs *now* just to get ahead of the rush.
celebrating 15 years of marriage. 💕
August 25, 2025 at 7:12 PM
celebrating 15 years of marriage. 💕
👀
👀👀
👀👀👀
👀👀
👀👀👀
August 5, 2025 at 10:11 PM
👀
👀👀
👀👀👀
👀👀
👀👀👀
I feel sorry for the poor 22 y/o marketing intern at @wshcommanders.bsky.social who I'm sure was assigned by his bosses to design subtly confederate flag themed alternates.
July 31, 2025 at 9:24 PM
I feel sorry for the poor 22 y/o marketing intern at @wshcommanders.bsky.social who I'm sure was assigned by his bosses to design subtly confederate flag themed alternates.
After completing a dozen pages of documents and photographs for an EV car plug rebate, I get denied health insurance style.
This is some centrist, corporate @democrats.org behavior. Behavior like this is why your approval is in the toilet. (1/3)
This is some centrist, corporate @democrats.org behavior. Behavior like this is why your approval is in the toilet. (1/3)
July 21, 2025 at 5:48 PM
After completing a dozen pages of documents and photographs for an EV car plug rebate, I get denied health insurance style.
This is some centrist, corporate @democrats.org behavior. Behavior like this is why your approval is in the toilet. (1/3)
This is some centrist, corporate @democrats.org behavior. Behavior like this is why your approval is in the toilet. (1/3)
*pops pacifier into baby's mouth*
here hold this for me.
here hold this for me.
July 14, 2025 at 3:26 PM
*pops pacifier into baby's mouth*
here hold this for me.
here hold this for me.
"Use flashcards to guide your child's development."
"OK"
"OK"
July 11, 2025 at 12:27 AM
"Use flashcards to guide your child's development."
"OK"
"OK"
*in La Cañada, sees plate number HNYBRD*
J: Ha! Horny Bard.
L: ...that's Honeybird.
J: Ha! Horny Bard.
L: ...that's Honeybird.
July 11, 2025 at 12:04 AM
*in La Cañada, sees plate number HNYBRD*
J: Ha! Horny Bard.
L: ...that's Honeybird.
J: Ha! Horny Bard.
L: ...that's Honeybird.
I got *torched* by a Gen α dude last night. When explaining why I'd be an expert on something, the teen replied without a hint of irony:
"And that's so valid for you."
"And that's so valid for you."
July 9, 2025 at 3:53 AM
I got *torched* by a Gen α dude last night. When explaining why I'd be an expert on something, the teen replied without a hint of irony:
"And that's so valid for you."
"And that's so valid for you."