Evan Rossi
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applecart.bsky.social
Evan Rossi
@applecart.bsky.social
Stand up and sketch comedy. Radioman on the radio. Ugly tape based media mangle as DAKTYLOI. Sometimes other things. Don't worry about it.

DAKTYLOI.bandcamp.com if you want a bad time.
Pinned
Harsh ambience, haunted psychedelic soundscapes, concrete posturing, plunderphonics and electroacoustic bangs n' clangs make up "One Bakelite Mazard", the 34th Bulletin from DAKTYLOI.

Free to stream and download.
Feedback is welcome and appreciated.
daktyloi.bandcamp.com/album/one-ba...
One Bakelite Mazard, by DAKTYLOI
2 track album
daktyloi.bandcamp.com
This one is hard to explain, but I'd like a restaurant where everything sprung out from a bunch of different panels, like an automat but with people so also like the Laugh In joke wall, but for BBQ. Or maybe dumplings. Or maybe YCDTOT with the lockers. Dammit, I told you it was hard to explain!
December 5, 2025 at 10:30 PM
The best part of waking up is dissociating as the hot shower water hits the back of your neck while you murmur and screech math sounds. I call this Autechre Mornings, and they're not just for mornings! Have an Autechre morning, everyone!
December 5, 2025 at 6:43 PM
I wrote, ON SPEC, a 5 season treatment for a prestige drama about an American Girl Doll based cargo cult, which got lost piloting my ultralight over the Gobi, and became the foundational text for a new society of desert maniacs.
December 5, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Now wait a minute, hold your horses. Let's not jump to conclusions. Just because I don't like Sunny Delight doesn't mean I'm Team Purple Stuff; that's a pretty binary way of- oh the horses got loose, wow look at that. Shit they're heading for the highway.
December 4, 2025 at 11:37 PM
There's this little plastic container with a foil top attached to me and I've just noticed it for the first time. Went back and found it's in my photos, baby photos even. Friends all confirmed. Opened it up a bit to look. Turns out I came with a dipping sauce this whole time. WHO KNEW?
December 4, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Working on my horror movie and I hit a wall finding the best way to portray the foreboding atmosphere of the old fishing village & the broken bleakness of its inhabitants, then it dawned on me: Mark Weiner style live-head puppetry.

@a24movies.bsky.social or Mark Weiner, please get in contact.
December 4, 2025 at 5:06 PM
If you have gauged ears get in contact; your lobe hammocks are the perfect candidates to test drive my new 5G blocking orgonite skull-pucks!
December 3, 2025 at 3:13 PM
No one likes my rapping one continuous drone for 3 minutes. Hard to make rap friends when your flow is laminar.
December 2, 2025 at 3:55 PM
I imagine most anime characters have to sleep with a CPAP because that nose is useless.
December 2, 2025 at 3:53 PM
BREAKING: Elon Musk finds out all the wildebeest testosterone he's been vaping is actually 5 Alive & the neighborhood kids all know about it & made up a rhyme about it that sources are calling "devastating in the way the taunts of neighborhood children typically are".
December 1, 2025 at 7:13 PM
THE SPECIALTY SHOPPING DAYS ARE UPON US!!

Don't miss all these door buster deals!
I hate rampant capitalism as much as the next fellow but not as much as I HATE DOORS!
December 1, 2025 at 5:12 PM
My chowder is best chowder because it's all the chowders. Talkin' bay scallops, corn and potato. My refrigerator is now a pillar of chowder which also makes it a pillar of excellence and indeed a pillar of this community.
December 1, 2025 at 4:51 PM
I'll say it again, ALL my soups are homeopathic.
December 1, 2025 at 4:50 PM
If Jeff Dunham was actually smart he'd've had some sort of anthropomorphized crypto coin puppet ready to go years ago.
December 1, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Tried to look through NASA's Webb Telescope and accidentally look through NASA's Weeb Telescope and it was all Pocky crumbs and balled up tissues don't make my mistake.
December 1, 2025 at 4:46 PM
The different people featured on Blue Bell ice cream boxes all live in the same small town and all members of the same small town cult. From the coach to the child in your aunt's necklace. The eye contact they make with you from the packaging is a shameful acknowledgement of your outsider status.
November 13, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Just heard a mournful clown horn. Didn't know they could do that. Really wish I didn't have that knowledge. My life's chapters are now defined as Before and After mournful clown horn.
November 13, 2025 at 8:14 PM
Unappealing Charcuterie Boards:

Kraft singles & pemmican
One really big pitted olive run stuck all over with frilly toothpicks
31 wet peanuts that spell the word JAMON
5 mixed chess pieces & sriracha
Longtots* & Fig Chutney
A severed hand only it's YOUR hand & someone's stolen your purity ring.
November 13, 2025 at 4:34 PM
I hesitate to show you any of my most top tier butterfly knife tricks because they're likely to blow your mind out of your damn nostrils in a thick mind pulp & you'll be standing there drooling, not a state with which to fully appreciate these sick butterfly knife tricks.
November 12, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Person 1: Hey, you're a huge dork, ain't ya? Bet you like those JRPG's a whole lot, huh?

Person 2: "......"

Person 1: Yeah I THOUGHT so you fuckin' doofus.
(Peels out of the Wawa parking lot like a badass)
November 12, 2025 at 9:58 PM
My Kazaa download finally finished and now I can see what this "Vanilla Sky" is all about.
November 10, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Just to be absolutely sure I got my facts straight, The Good Old Days were the ones where we drove entire bird species to extinction because we needed radder hats, right?
November 10, 2025 at 5:25 PM
To the Victor belong the spoils. Sorry Victor, nothing personal. (Throws rotting fruit and coffee grounds at Victor)
November 10, 2025 at 5:23 PM