Thornton Wilder rising from his grave and killing me for yelling out, “So does Grover’s Corner have a McDonalds, or?” when the stage manager asks if anyone has questions
December 6, 2025 at 6:20 AM
Thornton Wilder rising from his grave and killing me for yelling out, “So does Grover’s Corner have a McDonalds, or?” when the stage manager asks if anyone has questions
I will never be as cool as my dog when he wears a hat
December 6, 2025 at 2:08 AM
I will never be as cool as my dog when he wears a hat
Spent 5 hours this year listening to the faucet in the bathtub drip
Spent 12 hours listening to the silence after the refrigerator shuts off
Spent 18 hours pondering what could be rattling around in the trunk of the car
Spent 12 hours listening to the silence after the refrigerator shuts off
Spent 18 hours pondering what could be rattling around in the trunk of the car
December 4, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Spent 5 hours this year listening to the faucet in the bathtub drip
Spent 12 hours listening to the silence after the refrigerator shuts off
Spent 18 hours pondering what could be rattling around in the trunk of the car
Spent 12 hours listening to the silence after the refrigerator shuts off
Spent 18 hours pondering what could be rattling around in the trunk of the car
Insert a movie into a movie
Sharksharknadonado
Sharksharknadonado
December 3, 2025 at 4:36 AM
Insert a movie into a movie
Sharksharknadonado
Sharksharknadonado
It’s Giving Tuesday, so give me all your money. This is a stick up
December 2, 2025 at 8:31 PM
It’s Giving Tuesday, so give me all your money. This is a stick up
Humans were domesticated by germs because our sneezes are useful to them
December 1, 2025 at 5:39 AM
Humans were domesticated by germs because our sneezes are useful to them
Reminder that flying cars already exist. They’re called helicopters and they require a ton of special training to pilot and must be in contact with air traffic control.
November 30, 2025 at 6:16 PM
Reminder that flying cars already exist. They’re called helicopters and they require a ton of special training to pilot and must be in contact with air traffic control.
Time to shower and change from my day pajamas into my evening pajamas
November 29, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Time to shower and change from my day pajamas into my evening pajamas
Last week at WinCo I told the cashier I was impressed by how many veggie codes he knew by heart, and he said his dying words would be “bananas 4011. Gala Apples 4132.”
4011 is the SKU for bananas, and it's written on the soul of anyone who's ever worked at a kroger. if you don't know any other SKU, you know bananas. there are four orange SKUS, seven plum-adjacent ones, and no one buys kiwis. but every cart has bananas, good old 4011.
November 27, 2025 at 3:39 AM
Last week at WinCo I told the cashier I was impressed by how many veggie codes he knew by heart, and he said his dying words would be “bananas 4011. Gala Apples 4132.”
Reposted by Anna
I realize there are only like 5 people who may do this but I would strongly suggest giving this a read.
Gift link
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/23/o...
Gift link
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/23/o...
Opinion | How the Elite Behave When No One Is Watching: Inside the Epstein Emails
www.nytimes.com
November 23, 2025 at 5:10 PM
I realize there are only like 5 people who may do this but I would strongly suggest giving this a read.
Gift link
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/23/o...
Gift link
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/23/o...
One thing I love about Data’s poem about his cat Spot is that it was written by humans trying to sound like a robot who’s trying to sound like a human.
November 22, 2025 at 6:01 PM
One thing I love about Data’s poem about his cat Spot is that it was written by humans trying to sound like a robot who’s trying to sound like a human.
That bit of gunk that you thought the dishwasher would take care of has hardened. It’s stuck like a barnacle. It’s part of the dish now.
November 22, 2025 at 2:40 AM
That bit of gunk that you thought the dishwasher would take care of has hardened. It’s stuck like a barnacle. It’s part of the dish now.
So it’s just straight up plagiarizing Wikipedia?
November 20, 2025 at 9:15 PM
So it’s just straight up plagiarizing Wikipedia?
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need to like every message in the group chat. My phone’s about to catch fire because everyone is heart reacting to “Sounds great! See you there!”
November 19, 2025 at 9:36 PM
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need to like every message in the group chat. My phone’s about to catch fire because everyone is heart reacting to “Sounds great! See you there!”
Retrophrenology would fix me
Discworld QOTD, from Men at Arms
November 18, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Retrophrenology would fix me
So many people who couldn’t cut it in Hollywood so they became politicians so they could be on TV
November 15, 2025 at 8:50 PM
So many people who couldn’t cut it in Hollywood so they became politicians so they could be on TV
EpiscoBot sounds like a character from Futurama who would rob you
November 15, 2025 at 5:09 AM
EpiscoBot sounds like a character from Futurama who would rob you
My daughter saw a place where a bunch of mushrooms were growing and called it a mushroom thrivery.
November 14, 2025 at 6:07 AM
My daughter saw a place where a bunch of mushrooms were growing and called it a mushroom thrivery.
To: firstname_lastname@gmail.com
From: firstname_lastname@harvard.edu
Re: crimes
Hey,,
thank you for having me at yur iland too do crimes .i had fun
It was grate talking abut how women r stupid after a long day of abusing them
From: firstname_lastname@harvard.edu
Re: crimes
Hey,,
thank you for having me at yur iland too do crimes .i had fun
It was grate talking abut how women r stupid after a long day of abusing them
November 14, 2025 at 4:08 AM
To: firstname_lastname@gmail.com
From: firstname_lastname@harvard.edu
Re: crimes
Hey,,
thank you for having me at yur iland too do crimes .i had fun
It was grate talking abut how women r stupid after a long day of abusing them
From: firstname_lastname@harvard.edu
Re: crimes
Hey,,
thank you for having me at yur iland too do crimes .i had fun
It was grate talking abut how women r stupid after a long day of abusing them
Why do they keep trying to make humanoid robots? If the point is to have it do stuff humans can’t do, it should have a bunch of spider-leg like appendages, each ending in a different sized socket wrench.
November 14, 2025 at 2:50 AM
Why do they keep trying to make humanoid robots? If the point is to have it do stuff humans can’t do, it should have a bunch of spider-leg like appendages, each ending in a different sized socket wrench.
Reposted by Anna
While you guys were watching the northern lights, I studied the blade
November 12, 2025 at 5:45 AM
While you guys were watching the northern lights, I studied the blade
If anyone else isn’t seeing the Aurora, know that I dragged my whole family out, and this is the sky where we live
November 12, 2025 at 5:19 AM
If anyone else isn’t seeing the Aurora, know that I dragged my whole family out, and this is the sky where we live
Reposted by Anna
This video I did it before gencide as student day in gaza, ahhh everything destroyed even me
November 9, 2025 at 11:22 PM
This video I did it before gencide as student day in gaza, ahhh everything destroyed even me