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TIP FOR MY FOLLOWERS: DO NOT BE OVERCOME BY EVIL, BUT OVERCOME EVIL WITH GOOD.
Lol what if you cremated your grandmother a few days ago but for some reason the cupboard you keep her urn in keeps shaking. Like the door vibrates. Lol and what if you wake up with a bloody nose now and dead blackbirds fall in your pool. Like theoretically what would you do. Quickly. Can’t move out
May 27, 2025 at 11:56 PM
A wise my dad told me that it’s okay to be annoying if the point you’re making matters more than the reputation you want to keep. And I have no reputation. DAD. So I’ve been talking and talking. It feels good LOWKEY. Facebook don’t wont me but At least I have you all. My little jujubees My mike ikes
May 27, 2025 at 11:51 PM
My art teacher said that I’m pushing the boundaries of “comedy” and “posting” on here by being super long-winded and annoying. But I think that if they make the character limit 300 on here that’s a request, not a warning. The world isn’t ready for my genre. I’ve seen the “interactions”. I’m Hobocore
May 27, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Nothing wrong with chowing down on a large fry from McDonald’s (40% off through the McDonald’s app (highly recommend)) alone in your car on a Monday night. It might actually be the least sad night to do it. And potatoes are one of the best, hardiest, tastiest vegetables around. How is everyone doing
May 27, 2025 at 1:38 AM
I scrapped my post lamenting my receding hairline. It’s all migrating down my chest anyways. People like forests and deserts
May 26, 2025 at 10:01 PM
FOUR LANES is the best, most optimal size of a highway (four in each direction). Left lane is for the speedsters, right lane is for the slowpokes, and the middle two lanes are for BFFs, lovers, in it for the long haul. It's been proven that companionship helps with "on-road behavior". Facts!
May 26, 2025 at 8:04 AM
It's almost 4AM, the hour after the dreaded "Witching Hour", which, personally, was very uneventful, other than the despair that's wafted into the room and strangled my tears out. If a demon—like a physical demon—could come in this hour, that would be interesting. I'm not planning on going to sleep.
May 26, 2025 at 7:58 AM
May 26, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Gum neva digests. Had ta learn tha hard way, wakin up in tha night w pink comin out ma bellybutton.
May 26, 2025 at 12:28 AM
I’M A NOBODY. AND YOU CAN’T KILL A PERSON WITH NO BODY.
May 25, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Sunday, oh Sunday! Another week has passed! For shame!! For shame on the passage of time!! How it creates webbings in my skin and rattles my throat.. The death rattle!! The death rattle!!
May 25, 2025 at 1:30 PM
Loved turnips and radishes as a kid. Bunch-a humble fuckin’ veggies, they are. Stout.
May 25, 2025 at 3:05 AM
Dizzy. Glowing. Moths giving themselves to the bright abyss. Kissing the sun. It’s just ennui down here, though. Swattin’ at ‘skeeters and horseflies. Watchin’ my cow shit in the grass. Way too dark nowadays.
May 25, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Okay bartender, give me something fucky. I want to drink a question. Chilled. Take your glass. Throw it out. Here. I’m gonna put my ashes in this, but in the meantime, pour me 2 parts cola, 1 part antifreeze. Shake. Shake. Shake. Alright, stop. Give it here… WOW. That’s tough. $12. Keep the change.
May 25, 2025 at 2:23 AM
When something bad happens, okay, just wait. Let it linger a bit. It could get better, could get worse. That’s, like, a 50/50 shot, and those odds are pretty common nowadays. You’re not gonna find better odds in this market.
May 25, 2025 at 2:03 AM
Do y’all ever just pray? I made the mistake of getting really “about that life” at age nineteen and sewed my hands together (don’t ask me how I did that (didn’t as for help)) and now I look like a damn Minecraft villager. Been 4 years. I holler instead of clap. Named my dog Pockets cuz he that now
May 25, 2025 at 1:44 AM
The world id lovely. Come dance with me baby before my arms fall off
May 25, 2025 at 12:41 AM
Little nown fact. I hate being chill. Can’t stand it. Someone somewhere always is sending out bad energy and i am the world’s lightning rod. It mottles my skin and blackens my fingertips. I’ve lost 3 fingernails (chew on them) and they haven’t grown back. God’s eternal punishment for a necrotic man
May 25, 2025 at 12:39 AM
Boy, if ice cubes could talk, what would they say? Will I open the freezer and hear a chorus of “da-da”s? I didn’t sign up for this; I don’t want to be a father. Does it hurt to melt? Probably. But it’s normal for animals to eat their young. I mean, they may like the taste of room temperature coke…
May 25, 2025 at 12:31 AM
There is not enough liquidity in the Crap/Shit exchange. The market is now at a standstill. Constipated, if I may.
May 25, 2025 at 12:25 AM
My boy transcribes everything that I speak into a tape recorder. These transcriptions are later summarized and embellished and posted in the form of “bluesky content”. I pay him $15 an hour, and in return, the world recieves a treasure trove of wealth. Philsophy. Study these posts. My boy says hi 👋😄
May 25, 2025 at 12:23 AM
TIP FOR MY FOLLOWERS: DO NOT BE OVERCOME BY EVIL, BUT OVERCOME EVIL WITH GOOD.
May 24, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Oh, I’m “locked in”. I’m chained to the desk, pressing my knees into the table legs. White hot. Raw. Blood out of my eyes and ears. Mangled cuticles. Can’t save drafts. Fuck. FUCK. Over the character limit. Locked in!! Locked in!! LOCKED IN!!! I’m dying!!!!! AAAAAAAA
May 24, 2025 at 11:06 PM
“I’ll do my best” I say, struggling to lift the comically large scissors. I prop the cutters on my knee (It’s huge, like 40lbs (big for scissors)) deadlifting it open. Alas, I topple over, missing the red “Grand Opening” ribbon, impaling the mayor in his fat abdomen, who bled ribbons of red (IRONIC)
May 24, 2025 at 9:28 PM
Night falls. I can see the end. I’m rowing the boat. Rowing. Rowing. Thirsty. Rowing. Thirsty. Angry. The semi-aquatic McDonald’s forgot my water. My Freshwater.
May 24, 2025 at 8:54 PM