Andy Field
banner
andyfieldhello.bsky.social
Andy Field
@andyfieldhello.bsky.social
1 of the UK's top 50 tall, white, glasses-wearing, male stand up comedians
3 years ago, my doctor told me I may never walk again. He said I'm a natural athlete, I could just run everywhere and never get tired
He was looking at my x-rays like 'woah no way, so cool'.
He called me the white Eliud Kipchoge
I like walking though, it's nice
March 27, 2025 at 11:50 AM
I don't understand clapping when the plane lands. Landing isn't even that impressive, flying is the real achievement. So I clap the whole time the plane is in the air
February 19, 2025 at 8:47 AM
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, don't even look at the bell. That is MY bell!!
January 29, 2025 at 9:32 AM
The pen is nowhere near mightier than the sword. Have you seen swords? What are you on about
January 3, 2025 at 11:23 PM
I'd love to do one of those 'The Holiday' type things, where you have sex with Jude Law in a stranger's house
December 22, 2024 at 4:11 PM
There's a lot of loud fox sex happening in my garden. They keep trying to get away, but I just love them so much!!
December 17, 2024 at 4:10 PM
They say I'm addicted to pausing mid-step, but I can stop any time I want
November 20, 2024 at 10:38 PM
I want to start a vehicle leasing company called Texpectit

Our slogan: "Amazing things can happen when you lease Texpectit"
November 19, 2024 at 12:50 AM