Andrew J. Smith
@andrewjsmithaudio.bsky.social
Audio Dramatist. Writer. He may look like he just witnessed his favorite cat explode, but he is actually a fun and friendly person.
Personal Page. Views Not Representative of Any Associated Entity.
www.franchiserites.com
Personal Page. Views Not Representative of Any Associated Entity.
www.franchiserites.com
We don't attack:
Trump for needing incontinence aids.
Patel for his size.
Noem for gender-affirming medical work.
Hegseth's alcohol use.
Vance having rural roots.
Or anything we progressives would rage over if said about the people we support.
There are enough LEGITIMATE vectors. Be better.
Trump for needing incontinence aids.
Patel for his size.
Noem for gender-affirming medical work.
Hegseth's alcohol use.
Vance having rural roots.
Or anything we progressives would rage over if said about the people we support.
There are enough LEGITIMATE vectors. Be better.
January 15, 2026 at 2:58 PM
We don't attack:
Trump for needing incontinence aids.
Patel for his size.
Noem for gender-affirming medical work.
Hegseth's alcohol use.
Vance having rural roots.
Or anything we progressives would rage over if said about the people we support.
There are enough LEGITIMATE vectors. Be better.
Trump for needing incontinence aids.
Patel for his size.
Noem for gender-affirming medical work.
Hegseth's alcohol use.
Vance having rural roots.
Or anything we progressives would rage over if said about the people we support.
There are enough LEGITIMATE vectors. Be better.
If you're having trouble reaching an IT professional who works from home, just know there's a new Star Trek show on Paramount, so they're probably distracted by the first two episodes that dropped this morning.
January 15, 2026 at 12:57 PM
If you're having trouble reaching an IT professional who works from home, just know there's a new Star Trek show on Paramount, so they're probably distracted by the first two episodes that dropped this morning.
Dan Stern was arrested for soliciting a prostitute.
1) Surprised to learn sex work is still illegal in California.
2) Every story is 8 paragraphs reminding people who he is and only 2 with nothing meaningful about the charge. 10 total to maximize ad placement.
3) We're still vilifying sex work.
1) Surprised to learn sex work is still illegal in California.
2) Every story is 8 paragraphs reminding people who he is and only 2 with nothing meaningful about the charge. 10 total to maximize ad placement.
3) We're still vilifying sex work.
January 14, 2026 at 7:09 PM
Dan Stern was arrested for soliciting a prostitute.
1) Surprised to learn sex work is still illegal in California.
2) Every story is 8 paragraphs reminding people who he is and only 2 with nothing meaningful about the charge. 10 total to maximize ad placement.
3) We're still vilifying sex work.
1) Surprised to learn sex work is still illegal in California.
2) Every story is 8 paragraphs reminding people who he is and only 2 with nothing meaningful about the charge. 10 total to maximize ad placement.
3) We're still vilifying sex work.
The thing that will kill Star Trek is not "woke" or "diversity" but a weakness that reduces it to passive amusement and comfortable storytelling. When Trek stops taking risks or telling meaningful stories in favor of gimmicks or broadening its audience, it becomes common, disposable.
January 14, 2026 at 6:06 PM
The thing that will kill Star Trek is not "woke" or "diversity" but a weakness that reduces it to passive amusement and comfortable storytelling. When Trek stops taking risks or telling meaningful stories in favor of gimmicks or broadening its audience, it becomes common, disposable.
Megyn Kelly, a prime time broadcast pundit with her own show, melted down on air about Amy Poehler winning an award for a podcast. Kelly says she was nominated but withdrew because she didn’t want it.
“Sure, Jan.”
“Sure, Jan.”
January 13, 2026 at 7:06 PM
Megyn Kelly, a prime time broadcast pundit with her own show, melted down on air about Amy Poehler winning an award for a podcast. Kelly says she was nominated but withdrew because she didn’t want it.
“Sure, Jan.”
“Sure, Jan.”
If you can’t stand being around me, just know that you wouldn’t want to spend a single moment alone in the dark with the thing inside my head.
January 13, 2026 at 4:07 PM
If you can’t stand being around me, just know that you wouldn’t want to spend a single moment alone in the dark with the thing inside my head.
Please stop trying to make Kamala Harris happen again. We "leftists" love to promote recycling and reuse, but this should not apply to our politics, at least not in this dark time.
January 11, 2026 at 1:16 PM
Please stop trying to make Kamala Harris happen again. We "leftists" love to promote recycling and reuse, but this should not apply to our politics, at least not in this dark time.
"The AM began with an explosion of chaos and outrage, like children realizing nothing is waiting for them around the tree on Christmas morning; or, for childless media influencers, sucking hydrogen peroxide toothpaste into your sinus cavity. Nothing made sense and the world had turned against me."
January 11, 2026 at 1:15 PM
"The AM began with an explosion of chaos and outrage, like children realizing nothing is waiting for them around the tree on Christmas morning; or, for childless media influencers, sucking hydrogen peroxide toothpaste into your sinus cavity. Nothing made sense and the world had turned against me."
Sorry, kids. I'm too out of touch, too old to understand your world. It's now your job to save it. Just remember: no argument survives the sacrifice of human dignity or rights. I grew up with an NRA supporting arms against tyranny, but there they are - impotent or complicit. I tried. Your turn.
January 10, 2026 at 1:07 AM
Sorry, kids. I'm too out of touch, too old to understand your world. It's now your job to save it. Just remember: no argument survives the sacrifice of human dignity or rights. I grew up with an NRA supporting arms against tyranny, but there they are - impotent or complicit. I tried. Your turn.
True adulthood is saying, "I have the means to buy and consume this," and then accepting, "but in doing so, I will end up with one less leg carrying around an extra fifty pounds."
January 9, 2026 at 11:08 PM
True adulthood is saying, "I have the means to buy and consume this," and then accepting, "but in doing so, I will end up with one less leg carrying around an extra fifty pounds."
What is most horrifying is how there is no regret, no sadness, because someone "had to die." They are angry about how wrong the press is that she deserved to die and we won't print that. No humanity. No loss. No fucking decency. Just "fuck you for not cheering her death."
January 9, 2026 at 1:40 PM
What is most horrifying is how there is no regret, no sadness, because someone "had to die." They are angry about how wrong the press is that she deserved to die and we won't print that. No humanity. No loss. No fucking decency. Just "fuck you for not cheering her death."
He shot.
She pulled away.
He shot again.
He killed her.
She pulled away.
He shot again.
He killed her.
January 9, 2026 at 1:34 PM
He shot.
She pulled away.
He shot again.
He killed her.
She pulled away.
He shot again.
He killed her.
You know, if you can't leave your kids with good examples, at least hope they are smart enough to learn from your cautionary tales.
January 8, 2026 at 7:24 PM
You know, if you can't leave your kids with good examples, at least hope they are smart enough to learn from your cautionary tales.
Trump doesn't care what happens to our world. He knows his health is deteriorating, and no court will ever put him in prison. He doesn't even think there's a God to condemn him. He is paying back his debts with our future. That's the simple fact, folks.
January 7, 2026 at 11:35 PM
Trump doesn't care what happens to our world. He knows his health is deteriorating, and no court will ever put him in prison. He doesn't even think there's a God to condemn him. He is paying back his debts with our future. That's the simple fact, folks.
He doesn't care if he'll be impeached again. It'll be great for ratings. He won't be convicted.
January 7, 2026 at 11:33 PM
He doesn't care if he'll be impeached again. It'll be great for ratings. He won't be convicted.
I should thrill to the headline "Democrat wins election." I should look for "Smart, reasonable human finally takes office!"
January 7, 2026 at 1:52 PM
I should thrill to the headline "Democrat wins election." I should look for "Smart, reasonable human finally takes office!"
I remember music videos as artful short stories set to music. It's a rarified art form these days but they used to make or break the next platinum artist. Video did kill the radio star. You don't get a lot of artists who look like they did back in the 1970s. (Looking at you, Jim Croce, with love)
January 7, 2026 at 1:50 PM
I remember music videos as artful short stories set to music. It's a rarified art form these days but they used to make or break the next platinum artist. Video did kill the radio star. You don't get a lot of artists who look like they did back in the 1970s. (Looking at you, Jim Croce, with love)
It's that time of year. "We List the Top Writers Lost in 2025." It's a little morbid, but why not go all in? How about stretching those research legs a bit to present "We List 25 Authors You Never Heard of Who Died in 2025" or "25 Great Writers Who Gave Up and Got 'Real Jobs' in 2025"?
January 7, 2026 at 1:19 PM
It's that time of year. "We List the Top Writers Lost in 2025." It's a little morbid, but why not go all in? How about stretching those research legs a bit to present "We List 25 Authors You Never Heard of Who Died in 2025" or "25 Great Writers Who Gave Up and Got 'Real Jobs' in 2025"?
Citing the short attention span and memory of Americans, Greenland and Venezuela distract the media from heavy stern reminders of today’s anniversary of the riot at the Capitol.
January 6, 2026 at 4:47 PM
Citing the short attention span and memory of Americans, Greenland and Venezuela distract the media from heavy stern reminders of today’s anniversary of the riot at the Capitol.
No one "invaded" Vance's home. They were liberating vulnerable furnishings from an oppressive regime.
January 6, 2026 at 1:01 AM
No one "invaded" Vance's home. They were liberating vulnerable furnishings from an oppressive regime.
An old man, dying soon. His best years are behind him. The parties are over. His crimes will all be buried or go unpunished. What he failed to accomplish with skill or expertise he will now try to gain through power. He has nothing to lose and an army of cultists supporting his immortality.
January 5, 2026 at 4:04 PM
An old man, dying soon. His best years are behind him. The parties are over. His crimes will all be buried or go unpunished. What he failed to accomplish with skill or expertise he will now try to gain through power. He has nothing to lose and an army of cultists supporting his immortality.
The only thing more important than Freedom to our ruling class is the "Free Market." The liberties of the individual will never be as important as those of the ones controlling the marketplace. Our government will fight all wars to protect its market interests.
January 3, 2026 at 10:43 PM
The only thing more important than Freedom to our ruling class is the "Free Market." The liberties of the individual will never be as important as those of the ones controlling the marketplace. Our government will fight all wars to protect its market interests.
Hey. Democrats - and I'm talking to the ones making a LIVING OFF OF THE FUCKING TITLE. Time to mount up and do your fucking job. Playtime and excuse therapy are over, shitheads. You've got a country to save. If that doesn't motivate you, then YOU HAVE A PARTY AND YOUR JOBS TO SAVE. Get to it.
January 3, 2026 at 10:28 PM
Hey. Democrats - and I'm talking to the ones making a LIVING OFF OF THE FUCKING TITLE. Time to mount up and do your fucking job. Playtime and excuse therapy are over, shitheads. You've got a country to save. If that doesn't motivate you, then YOU HAVE A PARTY AND YOUR JOBS TO SAVE. Get to it.