Tina Turner (leaving the Greek restaurant, still hungry):

🎶 We should get another gyro...
We could eat it on the wayyyyy home 🎶

Russell Crowe, frustrated by his lack of knot tying skills:
ARE YOU NOT INTERTWINED?!

Friend: How’d you like to meet a guy with a prosthetic implant made of oak?
Me: Oh man, wood eye!

Me: Where do you wanna eat?
Beggar: I can’t choose.

Jim Morrison insisted on buying 3-ply toilet paper because of fears he might break on through to the other side.

A word of advice:
If you’re gonna search for hummus recipes online, make sure you’re spelling “chickpeas” correctly...😳

I finally caved and went spelunking.

I enjoy writing conjunctions in all ALL CAPS and also suffer from a herniated disk in my back.

- Sir Mix-a-Lot