i long ago became immune to the sheer number of taylor swift media appearances but fuck this fucking week has me hating travis kelce more than anyone i hate his fucking face so bad fuck off
August 15, 2025 at 3:50 PM
i long ago became immune to the sheer number of taylor swift media appearances but fuck this fucking week has me hating travis kelce more than anyone i hate his fucking face so bad fuck off
dominic monaghan asking elijah wood if he wears wigs but it’s my brain asking people who have shown me nothing but kindness if they hate me
May 9, 2025 at 3:48 PM
dominic monaghan asking elijah wood if he wears wigs but it’s my brain asking people who have shown me nothing but kindness if they hate me
accidentally referred to dumbledore as gandalf last night and tbh it’s the coolest i’ve ever felt
August 11, 2024 at 8:23 PM
accidentally referred to dumbledore as gandalf last night and tbh it’s the coolest i’ve ever felt
god i miss amanda bynes in movies so much. i will be thinking about every single line read in she’s the man for the rest of my life
July 27, 2024 at 3:34 AM
god i miss amanda bynes in movies so much. i will be thinking about every single line read in she’s the man for the rest of my life
why would i ever ever go to starbucks when there is a local coffee shop near my house that is staffed by a girl i can only assume is the owner’s niece who desperately needs a job
July 24, 2024 at 4:58 PM
why would i ever ever go to starbucks when there is a local coffee shop near my house that is staffed by a girl i can only assume is the owner’s niece who desperately needs a job
you know how i know that awards shows are bullshit? because jake gyllenhal didn’t win an oscar for that michael bay ambulance movie
July 4, 2024 at 3:15 AM
you know how i know that awards shows are bullshit? because jake gyllenhal didn’t win an oscar for that michael bay ambulance movie
saw a reel the other day that was like “i used to think i was a nympho for touching myself every night but now i know i’m just stimming!” and, like, i dunno babe, maybe you’d be happier if you calmed down with the pathologizing
June 29, 2024 at 9:09 AM
saw a reel the other day that was like “i used to think i was a nympho for touching myself every night but now i know i’m just stimming!” and, like, i dunno babe, maybe you’d be happier if you calmed down with the pathologizing
consistently pluralizing wife as wifes and milf as milves just as a little treat for myself
(i actually genuinely forget that most people don’t pluralize milf as milves and also don’t talk about milves as often as i do! sad!)
(i actually genuinely forget that most people don’t pluralize milf as milves and also don’t talk about milves as often as i do! sad!)
June 26, 2024 at 4:30 PM
consistently pluralizing wife as wifes and milf as milves just as a little treat for myself
(i actually genuinely forget that most people don’t pluralize milf as milves and also don’t talk about milves as often as i do! sad!)
(i actually genuinely forget that most people don’t pluralize milf as milves and also don’t talk about milves as often as i do! sad!)
hm feeling sad and lonely. it could be that my period is starting or it could be because i am universally unloved. i guess we’ll never know
June 13, 2024 at 4:57 PM
hm feeling sad and lonely. it could be that my period is starting or it could be because i am universally unloved. i guess we’ll never know
apparently having a moth tattoo is some kind of bisexual cliche and i’m feeling attacked
June 4, 2024 at 4:04 PM
apparently having a moth tattoo is some kind of bisexual cliche and i’m feeling attacked
big news - i turned off my auto capitalization and i’ve never felt so affected in my life
May 16, 2024 at 6:09 PM
big news - i turned off my auto capitalization and i’ve never felt so affected in my life
Emily Blunt and Dakota Johnson feel similarly mean spirited to me but at least Dakota Johnson is generally funny
May 14, 2024 at 6:34 PM
Emily Blunt and Dakota Johnson feel similarly mean spirited to me but at least Dakota Johnson is generally funny
While Ian and I are horny for everyone involved in challengers, for obvious reasons we are both partial to the dark haired dirt bag one
May 5, 2024 at 11:50 PM
While Ian and I are horny for everyone involved in challengers, for obvious reasons we are both partial to the dark haired dirt bag one
Actually outstared a toddler at the pharmacy the other day so you can imagine the sort of mood I was in (combative)
May 3, 2024 at 8:20 PM
Actually outstared a toddler at the pharmacy the other day so you can imagine the sort of mood I was in (combative)
Forgot about the divine healing properties of laughing in a cigarette circle on a spring night
April 21, 2024 at 6:23 PM
Forgot about the divine healing properties of laughing in a cigarette circle on a spring night
If I still have this headache tomorrow I am going to beat something with a baseball bat 🤠
April 19, 2024 at 4:37 PM
If I still have this headache tomorrow I am going to beat something with a baseball bat 🤠
Just saw someone Venmo their fiancé for taco bell and I’m sorry but that marriage is not gonna last
April 19, 2024 at 1:52 AM
Just saw someone Venmo their fiancé for taco bell and I’m sorry but that marriage is not gonna last
I need to go into the woods and primal scream or something, everything can just fuck off today
April 16, 2024 at 10:26 PM
I need to go into the woods and primal scream or something, everything can just fuck off today
People saying Jeremy Allen white looks like gene wilder like that’s a bad thing??
April 12, 2024 at 2:49 AM
People saying Jeremy Allen white looks like gene wilder like that’s a bad thing??
I’m such an immediate replier in all aspects of my life that I sometimes write a work email and then just sit around for 15 minutes so I don’t look weird replying so fast. Why I don’t also do this in dating is unclear to me!
April 11, 2024 at 4:24 PM
I’m such an immediate replier in all aspects of my life that I sometimes write a work email and then just sit around for 15 minutes so I don’t look weird replying so fast. Why I don’t also do this in dating is unclear to me!
Did a Terry Benedict write this post?
April 7, 2024 at 3:11 AM
Did a Terry Benedict write this post?
I’m not saying all stereotypes are accurate but I am saying that the boomers next to me at this restaurant were talking about getting hacked on Facebook and how waiters should never argue with customers
April 7, 2024 at 3:05 AM
I’m not saying all stereotypes are accurate but I am saying that the boomers next to me at this restaurant were talking about getting hacked on Facebook and how waiters should never argue with customers
Parkour? You mean cat-core? Because that is just how cats live their lives. Just a taste of my twisted sense of humor
March 16, 2024 at 8:02 PM
Parkour? You mean cat-core? Because that is just how cats live their lives. Just a taste of my twisted sense of humor
Why is the new triscuit branding so atrocious?
March 12, 2024 at 7:09 PM
Why is the new triscuit branding so atrocious?
Gonna go to a yarn club meeting at the library next week. It will probably consist of two old ladies and one person my age who I will find unbearably annoying but I am still going to attend like an adult who does wholesome activities
March 8, 2024 at 9:02 PM
Gonna go to a yarn club meeting at the library next week. It will probably consist of two old ladies and one person my age who I will find unbearably annoying but I am still going to attend like an adult who does wholesome activities