ok just one pitch is that severance would make a really good reality dating show

ok i’m just gonna say it. i am still really scared of bloody mary. barreling out of the bathroom like a bat out of hell every night

daily humbling: my foot got stuck as i was getting off my bed holding a bowl of yogurt. i spilled the yogurt all over the rug and now i have rug burn on my chin 😌 no one even saw so it was ultimately a waste

been on here 10 mins and already two random men looking for a wife began following me

nothing good ever lasts 💔

where my rascals at? i need to balance the indescribable horrors we encounter on our phones every day at all times with some goofballs & animal pictures

objectively i understand that i need to get up for work. creatively i am not ready yet to unfurl from the cocoon of slumber (the air is too cold and i forgot my morning pants in the drawer!!!)