FYI Iran: Israel’s got the best legal firm in the world on retainer: Dewey, Killiam & Howe. #GoIsraelGo #GoldenPager #LetsDoThisAlready #WarWhatIsItGoodFor #Alot #ThankYouUSTroops #GazaTrumpCasino #GazaTrumpGolfCourse #LetsGetItStartedInHere #BlackEyedPeas #GazaKusherApartments

Had dinner and a “movie” with Ezra Edelman (no relation—except elite NY Jewish brothers, of course). He previewed his 9-hour Prince doc on male fragility, abuse, and fraudulent Christians—basically, everything wrong with America. Why’s America full of abusive Christian Nazis like Prince? #Sad

Wow, it only took how many centuries for Jewish businesses to be officially recognized as minorities in the U.S.? Guess centuries of pogroms, quotas, and getting locked out of industries wasn’t enough. Anyway, thanks for finally catching up, MBDA. Mazel tov on doing the bare minimum. #AboutTime

Just overheard someone say, “I’m a Zion Williamson fan, so technically I’m a Zionist.” Zionism is about Jewish self-determination, not your lazy pun. Our right to exist isn’t an excuse for dumb humor. #disgusted

Had a long, emotional lunch with Jerry and Julia (yes, that Jerry and Julia). We reflected on how tough things are for Jewish people like us in America right now. I left feeling devastated for myself, Jerry, Julia, and Jewish entertainers as a whole. At least we can turn our pain into art!

This antisemitic ad in the subway is unacceptable. As a Jewish man, I refuse to stay silent while hate towards me is normalized in public spaces. I will not be the victim you want me to be.

#SorryKid #LifeIsTough #Pray4Israel #ThankUBibi #ThankUGoogle

Watched The Brutalist and was floored—moving, deeply profound, and proof that Jews have turned hardship into art and architecture that’s cooler than everyone else’s. A little sad Just For Us wasn’t considered for Best Picture, but hey, The Brutalist is a solid consolation prize.

Just found out I’m being considered for a Pulitzer Prize in both Drama and Commentary. Unreal! Grateful doesn’t even begin to cover it… comedy really can change the world! (Also, who do I thank for the extra category???)

Teach your kids diplomacy the fun way! With My Little Bibi, there’s always a conflict to resolve.

Taco Bell has an issue with supremacist culture. No, I don’t want my tacos “supreme”!

Is “Curtis Yarvin” a new Fred Armisen character? #CurtisYarvin #Fonzie #CoolLeatherJacket

Humbled to be asked to give Columbia’s 2025 commencement speech. Wondering if it’s my responsibility to set these antisemitic kids straight after last year’s anti-Israel protests—or are they beyond saving?

Is it wrong that every time I sneeze in public, I yell, “Jesus was a Jew!!!”? The “bless you’s” I get are priceless.