AfterHoursThoughts
@afterhoursthoughts.bsky.social
Late-night thoughts: part wisdom, part nonsense, all in good fun. Welcome to the chaos. 🌙✨
How evil do you have to be for the world to feel zero sympathy when karma finally puts a bullet where your greed lived?
December 5, 2024 at 9:14 PM
How evil do you have to be for the world to feel zero sympathy when karma finally puts a bullet where your greed lived?
Red flags come after me like Starbucks chasing union organizers—relentless, messy, and somehow still my fault.
December 4, 2024 at 6:33 PM
Red flags come after me like Starbucks chasing union organizers—relentless, messy, and somehow still my fault.
What if teleportation already exists, but airlines are hiding it because they’d go broke?
December 4, 2024 at 3:54 AM
What if teleportation already exists, but airlines are hiding it because they’d go broke?
Imagine explaining Airbnb to someone from 100 years ago: ‘Yeah, you just pay strangers to sleep in their house for fun.’
December 4, 2024 at 3:30 AM
Imagine explaining Airbnb to someone from 100 years ago: ‘Yeah, you just pay strangers to sleep in their house for fun.’
Maybe life isn’t about finding meaning—maybe it’s about pretending you have one so nobody panics.
December 3, 2024 at 1:08 PM
Maybe life isn’t about finding meaning—maybe it’s about pretending you have one so nobody panics.
What if UFOs don’t land because they’ve seen enough? Like, they took one look at Earth and said, ‘Nah, they’re not ready.’
December 3, 2024 at 3:41 AM
What if UFOs don’t land because they’ve seen enough? Like, they took one look at Earth and said, ‘Nah, they’re not ready.’
Chocolate: rich, addictive, and always leaves you wanting more. Just like my coping mechanisms.
December 2, 2024 at 4:13 AM
Chocolate: rich, addictive, and always leaves you wanting more. Just like my coping mechanisms.
My drug of choice is the love I get from Jesus.
Just kidding, it’s weed.
Just kidding, it’s weed.
December 2, 2024 at 2:23 AM
My drug of choice is the love I get from Jesus.
Just kidding, it’s weed.
Just kidding, it’s weed.
Something about hospitals gets to me.. dim lights, soft beeps, and a nurse whispering, ‘Need anything else?’ Careful, you’re gonna make me flatline.
December 1, 2024 at 10:15 PM
Something about hospitals gets to me.. dim lights, soft beeps, and a nurse whispering, ‘Need anything else?’ Careful, you’re gonna make me flatline.
The Simpsons predicted FaceTime, smartwatches, and even Trump as president.
At this point, they’re less a cartoon and more a cursed Magic 8-Ball. ‘Will my life get better?’
Simpsons: shakes head no.
At this point, they’re less a cartoon and more a cursed Magic 8-Ball. ‘Will my life get better?’
Simpsons: shakes head no.
November 30, 2024 at 9:55 PM
The Simpsons predicted FaceTime, smartwatches, and even Trump as president.
At this point, they’re less a cartoon and more a cursed Magic 8-Ball. ‘Will my life get better?’
Simpsons: shakes head no.
At this point, they’re less a cartoon and more a cursed Magic 8-Ball. ‘Will my life get better?’
Simpsons: shakes head no.
Vibes and memes are the duct tape holding our sanity together
November 29, 2024 at 2:58 AM
Vibes and memes are the duct tape holding our sanity together
Watched Ryan Reynolds in Deadpool, and now I’m questioning if it’s the suit, the sarcasm, or just my unresolved issues that’s making me feel things.
November 28, 2024 at 2:18 AM
Watched Ryan Reynolds in Deadpool, and now I’m questioning if it’s the suit, the sarcasm, or just my unresolved issues that’s making me feel things.
My sleep schedule is basically foreplay to a mental breakdown, and I can’t even fake a safe word.
November 27, 2024 at 1:20 PM
My sleep schedule is basically foreplay to a mental breakdown, and I can’t even fake a safe word.
Just like every Hallmark movie, I’m out here waiting for my crush to realize they’ve been in love with me this whole time… except it’s 2024 and no one’s texting back.
November 26, 2024 at 12:56 PM
Just like every Hallmark movie, I’m out here waiting for my crush to realize they’ve been in love with me this whole time… except it’s 2024 and no one’s texting back.
Dogs really out here loving me unconditionally, while I’m just over here questioning every poor decision I’ve ever made.
November 26, 2024 at 2:39 AM
Dogs really out here loving me unconditionally, while I’m just over here questioning every poor decision I’ve ever made.
If we’re all just simulations, does that mean my bad decisions are someone else’s entertainment? Because they better be paying for premium.
November 26, 2024 at 2:18 AM
If we’re all just simulations, does that mean my bad decisions are someone else’s entertainment? Because they better be paying for premium.
Welcome to the after-hours—where the thoughts are random, the filters are off, and the regrets start at sunrise. Let's make some bad decisions together. 🌌🔥 #AfterHoursThoughts
November 26, 2024 at 1:56 AM
Welcome to the after-hours—where the thoughts are random, the filters are off, and the regrets start at sunrise. Let's make some bad decisions together. 🌌🔥 #AfterHoursThoughts