Star Wares
Dark Vader
Light Saver
These kids are KILLING me!

I’ve enjoyed an over 18 year career in tech. Today I legitimately pasted a copied url into a Google search box. Time to retire and die. *fade-to-black*

I’m the type of MF that will chew my children heads off all afternoon, then spend 20m meticulously crafting an artistic stuffie arrangement on their freshly made bed every night.

I tried to come up with another witty joke about parenting but I just, I mean I, Where would I, can you ….. ARRRHHHHHH!

the declaration of arrival for every father: “ok buddy we’re here, lets go potty real quick”

We have yet to hit February and the boys are already planning some Halloween gems like Zombie Apocalypse Paw Patrol Santa, and Pirate DinoBot.

Gonna take cues from my 4yo and in my next meeting just incessantly repeat my point until someone acknowledges how “cool” it is.

4yo explains to a random sales-associate that he and 3yo are “from earth” and I feel like that is a perfectly modern greeting given the recent events in NJ.

My kids are really adept at this rubber duckie claw game. The also started to notice them on the dashboard of Jeep Wranglers … and what kind of parent would I be if I DIDN’T?

I think all bars should be family-friendly. That’s just one man’s opinion.

We need a bin in our house labelled “$2 stuffies that cost $20 out of a claw machine”

me: tosses a Sonic figure into a box of TMNT characters … pause … “eh whatever, this will be a fun thing for him to absolutely lose it over in a few days”