Pinned
Honking in Morse code so the people in front of me know the show their kids are watching is really annoying.
It’s Salsa week in America.
February 9, 2026 at 4:29 PM
It’s Salsa week in America.
Really thinking about instituting a “Chump of the week” at work
February 5, 2026 at 12:09 AM
Really thinking about instituting a “Chump of the week” at work
Thoroughly enjoying the Humble Offering newsletter from @eliyudin.com to the point where I let out an “oh yay!” when I see it in my inbox on Mondays.
www.humbleoffering.com/i-am-a-snow-...
www.humbleoffering.com/i-am-a-snow-...
I AM A SNOW MAN
The weather and snow here in New York have definitely turned me into even more of a YouTube connoisseur than usual, and this week it’s brought me to a new comedian I am thoroughly enjoying. It’s Austr...
www.humbleoffering.com
February 2, 2026 at 8:44 PM
Thoroughly enjoying the Humble Offering newsletter from @eliyudin.com to the point where I let out an “oh yay!” when I see it in my inbox on Mondays.
www.humbleoffering.com/i-am-a-snow-...
www.humbleoffering.com/i-am-a-snow-...
Surprised Mountain Dew doesn’t have a dating app called Dew-gether.
February 2, 2026 at 5:31 AM
Surprised Mountain Dew doesn’t have a dating app called Dew-gether.
Had a root canal this morning and then a cop told me my break lights were out on the way home, but today is a wonderful day.
Wordle 1,682 1/6
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
Wordle 1,682 1/6
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
January 26, 2026 at 6:53 PM
Had a root canal this morning and then a cop told me my break lights were out on the way home, but today is a wonderful day.
Wordle 1,682 1/6
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
Wordle 1,682 1/6
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
Doctors offices love hexagon tables.
January 26, 2026 at 3:02 PM
Doctors offices love hexagon tables.
I just wanna talk about Bone Temple.
January 19, 2026 at 11:43 PM
I just wanna talk about Bone Temple.
Reposted
Really leaning into getting the names of things kinda wrong, so I’m gonna go see Skeleton Church tonight.
January 16, 2026 at 4:41 PM
Really leaning into getting the names of things kinda wrong, so I’m gonna go see Skeleton Church tonight.
[laughing anxiously] can’t wait for tomorrow!
January 7, 2026 at 2:39 AM
[laughing anxiously] can’t wait for tomorrow!
Sick and watching The Batman
January 4, 2026 at 5:43 AM
Sick and watching The Batman
Here’s the pitch- Dune, but with Donald Duck.
January 2, 2026 at 4:32 AM
Here’s the pitch- Dune, but with Donald Duck.
Jurassic Park is supposed to be an island full of female dinosaurs, but I didn’t see any of them with a Jansport backpack 👎🏻👎🏻
December 31, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Jurassic Park is supposed to be an island full of female dinosaurs, but I didn’t see any of them with a Jansport backpack 👎🏻👎🏻
-bright copper kettles
-warm woolen mittens
-spending $40 in first aid stuff because I never know what I have in the cabinet and my finger is fucked right now
-cream colored ponies
-warm woolen mittens
-spending $40 in first aid stuff because I never know what I have in the cabinet and my finger is fucked right now
-cream colored ponies
December 31, 2025 at 12:57 AM
-bright copper kettles
-warm woolen mittens
-spending $40 in first aid stuff because I never know what I have in the cabinet and my finger is fucked right now
-cream colored ponies
-warm woolen mittens
-spending $40 in first aid stuff because I never know what I have in the cabinet and my finger is fucked right now
-cream colored ponies
Ritz crackers, peanut butter, mini chocolate chips
December 29, 2025 at 4:28 AM
Ritz crackers, peanut butter, mini chocolate chips
Just a heads up if you go to see Song Sung Blue the theater will be full of old people that will cheer and boo at the Melania movie, so to cut the tension I recommend farting really loud.
December 27, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Just a heads up if you go to see Song Sung Blue the theater will be full of old people that will cheer and boo at the Melania movie, so to cut the tension I recommend farting really loud.
Everyone loves it when I say “Till death do us part” with a mouth full of popcorn
Every time I see the trailer for The Bride! I crack up at Christian Bale saying “Till death do us part”
December 27, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Everyone loves it when I say “Till death do us part” with a mouth full of popcorn
Still wild that Potter, Schade and Thiago are all 24
December 27, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Still wild that Potter, Schade and Thiago are all 24
Rick James in the studio at the mixing board, punches the air “Now THAT’s the Jingle Bell Rock!”
December 26, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Rick James in the studio at the mixing board, punches the air “Now THAT’s the Jingle Bell Rock!”
You know I got those Dick facts
December 26, 2025 at 9:32 PM
You know I got those Dick facts
I hope Jehovahs Witnesses can celebrate Toyotathon
December 19, 2025 at 5:00 PM
I hope Jehovahs Witnesses can celebrate Toyotathon
Working on a Christmas stand up persona called Abby-nezer where all of my crowd work is asking women if they bought the prize turkey hanging up at the Poulterers on the corner or is that their husband
December 18, 2025 at 7:10 PM
Working on a Christmas stand up persona called Abby-nezer where all of my crowd work is asking women if they bought the prize turkey hanging up at the Poulterers on the corner or is that their husband
I really do need tiny cans of Waterloo.
December 15, 2025 at 4:44 AM
I really do need tiny cans of Waterloo.
Glad I got big feet
'Cause they're so good for dancin'
Glad you got big legs
'Cause they're so good when we're romancin'
You still got the flavor
And I'm hungry for your love
So I'm gon' play this one jam
That'll make you wanna kiss somebody
'Cause they're so good for dancin'
Glad you got big legs
'Cause they're so good when we're romancin'
You still got the flavor
And I'm hungry for your love
So I'm gon' play this one jam
That'll make you wanna kiss somebody
December 14, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Glad I got big feet
'Cause they're so good for dancin'
Glad you got big legs
'Cause they're so good when we're romancin'
You still got the flavor
And I'm hungry for your love
So I'm gon' play this one jam
That'll make you wanna kiss somebody
'Cause they're so good for dancin'
Glad you got big legs
'Cause they're so good when we're romancin'
You still got the flavor
And I'm hungry for your love
So I'm gon' play this one jam
That'll make you wanna kiss somebody