tate
@50firsttates.bsky.social
just body after body busting out of shit wood and hittin pavement
not the time, iphone
December 4, 2024 at 1:52 AM
not the time, iphone
just saw a tiktok of someone saying they’re “never buying garlic again” after they discovered “this hack” and literally planted garlic in their backyard and grew more. brother do u think u just discovered agriculture???
July 8, 2023 at 2:05 AM
just saw a tiktok of someone saying they’re “never buying garlic again” after they discovered “this hack” and literally planted garlic in their backyard and grew more. brother do u think u just discovered agriculture???
posting the same thing on twitter, bluesky and threads like a grandma with dementia who keeps repeating herself at dinner while the whole family ignores her
July 6, 2023 at 8:15 PM
posting the same thing on twitter, bluesky and threads like a grandma with dementia who keeps repeating herself at dinner while the whole family ignores her
bro i was at the “loves unconditionally and will always be there for their friends” convention and everyone there knew you lmaoo
July 6, 2023 at 1:58 PM
bro i was at the “loves unconditionally and will always be there for their friends” convention and everyone there knew you lmaoo
i hope this email finds u at ur lowest point. rock bottom. a juncture in ur life so wretched and foul that ur struggling to find joy in even the smallest of delights. a shell of the person u once were
June 29, 2023 at 7:52 PM
i hope this email finds u at ur lowest point. rock bottom. a juncture in ur life so wretched and foul that ur struggling to find joy in even the smallest of delights. a shell of the person u once were
saw a text and told myself i would reply later and forgot and now i haven’t spoken to my friends or family for 7 months hope they’re all doing okay
June 24, 2023 at 2:05 PM
saw a text and told myself i would reply later and forgot and now i haven’t spoken to my friends or family for 7 months hope they’re all doing okay
to the person behind me at the red light. yes i wasn’t paying attention and it turned green. u didn’t have to honk. i’m not perfect there i admit it. ur not perfect either. u lost custody of ur kids
June 16, 2023 at 5:16 PM
to the person behind me at the red light. yes i wasn’t paying attention and it turned green. u didn’t have to honk. i’m not perfect there i admit it. ur not perfect either. u lost custody of ur kids
my cat: [finally lets me pet it after several hours of trying]
also my cat: [immediately licking clean the spot i just touched] that’s enough of that
also my cat: [immediately licking clean the spot i just touched] that’s enough of that
June 14, 2023 at 11:03 PM
my cat: [finally lets me pet it after several hours of trying]
also my cat: [immediately licking clean the spot i just touched] that’s enough of that
also my cat: [immediately licking clean the spot i just touched] that’s enough of that
i love pushing the trash down harder and harder every day as the can gets full so i never have to take it out. not unlike sisyphus
June 13, 2023 at 3:39 PM
i love pushing the trash down harder and harder every day as the can gets full so i never have to take it out. not unlike sisyphus
the LAST thing i have to do before going to bed is brush my teeth. and ur telling me the FIRST thing i have to do when i wake up is brush my teeth again? existence is hell
June 11, 2023 at 3:00 PM
the LAST thing i have to do before going to bed is brush my teeth. and ur telling me the FIRST thing i have to do when i wake up is brush my teeth again? existence is hell
me: i’d like to go to this place
google maps: u walking? i bet ur walking
me: no i’m driv-
google maps: it’s gonna take u 5 hours hope ur wearing comfy shoes
google maps: u walking? i bet ur walking
me: no i’m driv-
google maps: it’s gonna take u 5 hours hope ur wearing comfy shoes
June 9, 2023 at 5:14 PM
me: i’d like to go to this place
google maps: u walking? i bet ur walking
me: no i’m driv-
google maps: it’s gonna take u 5 hours hope ur wearing comfy shoes
google maps: u walking? i bet ur walking
me: no i’m driv-
google maps: it’s gonna take u 5 hours hope ur wearing comfy shoes
when i was in 1st grade u could NOT get me to stop talking about the military industrial complex and the global state of the economy lmaooo i was so annoying
June 6, 2023 at 10:32 PM
when i was in 1st grade u could NOT get me to stop talking about the military industrial complex and the global state of the economy lmaooo i was so annoying
friend: do u want to hold our baby?
me: why
me: why
June 3, 2023 at 9:12 PM
friend: do u want to hold our baby?
me: why
me: why
gonna bite a random person today
May 28, 2023 at 4:10 PM
gonna bite a random person today
website: incorrect username OR password
me: which one
website: idkkkkkk :) guess lol
me: which one
website: idkkkkkk :) guess lol
May 25, 2023 at 5:59 PM
website: incorrect username OR password
me: which one
website: idkkkkkk :) guess lol
me: which one
website: idkkkkkk :) guess lol
aaaaand the hellthread is right behind me isn’t it? bahah
May 24, 2023 at 3:01 PM
aaaaand the hellthread is right behind me isn’t it? bahah
[texting family]
me: we live in a cruel world, i welcome the sweet release of death
me, 20 minutes later when my tummy ache is gone: disregard that last text
me: we live in a cruel world, i welcome the sweet release of death
me, 20 minutes later when my tummy ache is gone: disregard that last text
May 23, 2023 at 8:05 PM
[texting family]
me: we live in a cruel world, i welcome the sweet release of death
me, 20 minutes later when my tummy ache is gone: disregard that last text
me: we live in a cruel world, i welcome the sweet release of death
me, 20 minutes later when my tummy ache is gone: disregard that last text
“enjoy the little things in life” i don’t even enjoy the big things leave me alone
May 23, 2023 at 8:03 PM
“enjoy the little things in life” i don’t even enjoy the big things leave me alone
me: how much is a ticket?
ticketmaster: $25
me: oh nice-
ticketmaster: and a $15 convenience fee
me:
ticketmaster: plus a $100 little bitch boy fee
me: ok what
ticketmaster: $25
me: oh nice-
ticketmaster: and a $15 convenience fee
me:
ticketmaster: plus a $100 little bitch boy fee
me: ok what
May 23, 2023 at 3:30 PM
me: how much is a ticket?
ticketmaster: $25
me: oh nice-
ticketmaster: and a $15 convenience fee
me:
ticketmaster: plus a $100 little bitch boy fee
me: ok what
ticketmaster: $25
me: oh nice-
ticketmaster: and a $15 convenience fee
me:
ticketmaster: plus a $100 little bitch boy fee
me: ok what
let’s get this man on here so we can bully him
May 22, 2023 at 5:26 PM
let’s get this man on here so we can bully him
friend: what are u watching
me: unsolved mysteries
friend: so just mysteries then?
me, taking another bite of edible food: i’m not sure what u mean
me: unsolved mysteries
friend: so just mysteries then?
me, taking another bite of edible food: i’m not sure what u mean
May 20, 2023 at 6:38 PM
friend: what are u watching
me: unsolved mysteries
friend: so just mysteries then?
me, taking another bite of edible food: i’m not sure what u mean
me: unsolved mysteries
friend: so just mysteries then?
me, taking another bite of edible food: i’m not sure what u mean
if i gast i must flabber. it’s a nonnegotiable. there will be no flabbering unless a gast follows immediately thereafter
May 20, 2023 at 6:35 PM
if i gast i must flabber. it’s a nonnegotiable. there will be no flabbering unless a gast follows immediately thereafter
friends: if bruce wayne was poor batman wouldn’t exist
me: *under breath* what the hell does bruce wayne have to do with batman
me: *under breath* what the hell does bruce wayne have to do with batman
May 19, 2023 at 10:41 PM
friends: if bruce wayne was poor batman wouldn’t exist
me: *under breath* what the hell does bruce wayne have to do with batman
me: *under breath* what the hell does bruce wayne have to do with batman