allegedly cait
@zucchinipipebomb.bsky.social
allergic to bees.
writer/comedian/imposter
writer/comedian/imposter
using facetune but my pic still turns out ugly call that photochopped
June 14, 2025 at 3:22 PM
using facetune but my pic still turns out ugly call that photochopped
a scientist got mad at me for dressing up as bacteria for halloween. he said his culture is not a costume
February 12, 2025 at 8:49 PM
a scientist got mad at me for dressing up as bacteria for halloween. he said his culture is not a costume
why he kinda…………..,,,,,,,….,,…,,..
February 7, 2025 at 5:04 PM
why he kinda…………..,,,,,,,….,,…,,..
my ex’s hairline is receding
February 6, 2025 at 9:55 PM
my ex’s hairline is receding
call me Gretel the way i b breadcrumbing these dudes
February 6, 2025 at 6:19 PM
call me Gretel the way i b breadcrumbing these dudes
how it feels to set a very reasonable boundary
February 5, 2025 at 3:39 PM
how it feels to set a very reasonable boundary
call him “Elvis” the way he’s soooo full of shit 🙄🙄🙄🙄
February 5, 2025 at 3:33 PM
call him “Elvis” the way he’s soooo full of shit 🙄🙄🙄🙄
gas?? lit!!
abs???? use!!!!!
abs???? use!!!!!
February 5, 2025 at 3:24 PM
gas?? lit!!
abs???? use!!!!!
abs???? use!!!!!
calling his DMs the “DSM” the way he makes me feel fucking crazy
February 5, 2025 at 3:23 PM
calling his DMs the “DSM” the way he makes me feel fucking crazy
YOU’RE in his DMs
and I’M g̶̤͈̲͙͊̆̽̒̎͌̓̂̚͜͜͠o̴̰͓̫͆ṅ̸̡̛͖̝̝̖̭̠̹̠̈́̀͊̀n̸̢̧̮̯̦̈͐̊̏̂̀͛̊͠ȁ̵͚̘̂͂́͠ ̴̧̘̬͚̟̎̀̀͠m̶̛̯͍͍̥͎̣̤à̸̱͑͒͠k̸̗̜͛̋̍͛e̷̡̖̳̚ ̴̡̖͍͈̳̥͈̫̝́̇̊̒͊ͅy̴̝͉̎͝o̷̧̜̣͇̊̾̿̈́́ű̸͕͓͇̜̘͌ ̵̮̐́̅̀̽̓̿̏̋͝p̶̜͚̲̠̰̥͈̈́̒͑̅͐̏̄͂͝ͅä̶̧̯̖̙̘̱̠̲̟̀͐͌͐̀̍̏̈́y̷̤̾́̏̍̂̋̂̇̋
and I’M g̶̤͈̲͙͊̆̽̒̎͌̓̂̚͜͜͠o̴̰͓̫͆ṅ̸̡̛͖̝̝̖̭̠̹̠̈́̀͊̀n̸̢̧̮̯̦̈͐̊̏̂̀͛̊͠ȁ̵͚̘̂͂́͠ ̴̧̘̬͚̟̎̀̀͠m̶̛̯͍͍̥͎̣̤à̸̱͑͒͠k̸̗̜͛̋̍͛e̷̡̖̳̚ ̴̡̖͍͈̳̥͈̫̝́̇̊̒͊ͅy̴̝͉̎͝o̷̧̜̣͇̊̾̿̈́́ű̸͕͓͇̜̘͌ ̵̮̐́̅̀̽̓̿̏̋͝p̶̜͚̲̠̰̥͈̈́̒͑̅͐̏̄͂͝ͅä̶̧̯̖̙̘̱̠̲̟̀͐͌͐̀̍̏̈́y̷̤̾́̏̍̂̋̂̇̋
February 5, 2025 at 3:16 PM
YOU’RE in his DMs
and I’M g̶̤͈̲͙͊̆̽̒̎͌̓̂̚͜͜͠o̴̰͓̫͆ṅ̸̡̛͖̝̝̖̭̠̹̠̈́̀͊̀n̸̢̧̮̯̦̈͐̊̏̂̀͛̊͠ȁ̵͚̘̂͂́͠ ̴̧̘̬͚̟̎̀̀͠m̶̛̯͍͍̥͎̣̤à̸̱͑͒͠k̸̗̜͛̋̍͛e̷̡̖̳̚ ̴̡̖͍͈̳̥͈̫̝́̇̊̒͊ͅy̴̝͉̎͝o̷̧̜̣͇̊̾̿̈́́ű̸͕͓͇̜̘͌ ̵̮̐́̅̀̽̓̿̏̋͝p̶̜͚̲̠̰̥͈̈́̒͑̅͐̏̄͂͝ͅä̶̧̯̖̙̘̱̠̲̟̀͐͌͐̀̍̏̈́y̷̤̾́̏̍̂̋̂̇̋
and I’M g̶̤͈̲͙͊̆̽̒̎͌̓̂̚͜͜͠o̴̰͓̫͆ṅ̸̡̛͖̝̝̖̭̠̹̠̈́̀͊̀n̸̢̧̮̯̦̈͐̊̏̂̀͛̊͠ȁ̵͚̘̂͂́͠ ̴̧̘̬͚̟̎̀̀͠m̶̛̯͍͍̥͎̣̤à̸̱͑͒͠k̸̗̜͛̋̍͛e̷̡̖̳̚ ̴̡̖͍͈̳̥͈̫̝́̇̊̒͊ͅy̴̝͉̎͝o̷̧̜̣͇̊̾̿̈́́ű̸͕͓͇̜̘͌ ̵̮̐́̅̀̽̓̿̏̋͝p̶̜͚̲̠̰̥͈̈́̒͑̅͐̏̄͂͝ͅä̶̧̯̖̙̘̱̠̲̟̀͐͌͐̀̍̏̈́y̷̤̾́̏̍̂̋̂̇̋
hit on one of my ex situationships at a party and he rejected me
February 4, 2025 at 7:00 PM
hit on one of my ex situationships at a party and he rejected me
gonna start commenting this when women post ugly dudes in “are we dating the same guy” facebook groups
February 3, 2025 at 6:11 PM
gonna start commenting this when women post ugly dudes in “are we dating the same guy” facebook groups
can’t do keto. bc all i do is stack bread💯💯🤑💸💸
January 30, 2025 at 4:30 AM
can’t do keto. bc all i do is stack bread💯💯🤑💸💸
just found out what jfk jr sounds like. we have bigger problems that red dye 40 methinks
January 30, 2025 at 4:20 AM
just found out what jfk jr sounds like. we have bigger problems that red dye 40 methinks
no dude no i wasn’t taking a shit in there. no i was in the bathroom so long because.., because…,,, the playlist was just really good. they were playing old SZA and i just Felt the music. no it’s not bc i ate spicy food last night dude you’re not listening dude. dude
January 30, 2025 at 4:18 AM
no dude no i wasn’t taking a shit in there. no i was in the bathroom so long because.., because…,,, the playlist was just really good. they were playing old SZA and i just Felt the music. no it’s not bc i ate spicy food last night dude you’re not listening dude. dude
okay… hear me out……,.
January 11, 2025 at 2:51 AM
okay… hear me out……,.
my nose is so sniffly i feel like i’m waterboarding myself with snot
January 10, 2025 at 9:31 PM
my nose is so sniffly i feel like i’m waterboarding myself with snot
how does this godforsaken app not have a drafts button
January 10, 2025 at 8:42 PM
how does this godforsaken app not have a drafts button
eating disorder was going so well until i smelled my coworker’s lasagna
January 10, 2025 at 8:41 PM
eating disorder was going so well until i smelled my coworker’s lasagna
