betty
@ytteb.bsky.social
82% made-up statistics, 21% jokes, 10% tater tots, 5% the one percent, 4% math. New and improved formula!
Fuck first class. The real power move is buying all the seats on your side of the aisle ✈️
December 3, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Fuck first class. The real power move is buying all the seats on your side of the aisle ✈️
If only there was a way to forward an email to someone else and cc: the person whose out of office message you got so that upon their return to the office, the person doesn’t have to try to figure out if you forwarded the email elsewhere
October 24, 2025 at 6:25 PM
If only there was a way to forward an email to someone else and cc: the person whose out of office message you got so that upon their return to the office, the person doesn’t have to try to figure out if you forwarded the email elsewhere
This week was my first time in Boston(!!!) and I got to go on a super cool tour of Fenway Park ⚾️
October 23, 2025 at 12:34 AM
This week was my first time in Boston(!!!) and I got to go on a super cool tour of Fenway Park ⚾️
It has just come to my attention that a word which was given to me in a spelling bee in 1991 was mispronounced. Is there a superhero who exacts vengeance in these types of scenarios?
October 18, 2025 at 12:55 PM
It has just come to my attention that a word which was given to me in a spelling bee in 1991 was mispronounced. Is there a superhero who exacts vengeance in these types of scenarios?
Reposted by betty
"the menswear guy isn't fair and balanced." do you even hear yourself?
"fork lady is eroding public confidence."
"ladder baby is undermining the credibility of the field."
"lemon raccoon is acting without transparency or accountability."
that's what you sound like.
"fork lady is eroding public confidence."
"ladder baby is undermining the credibility of the field."
"lemon raccoon is acting without transparency or accountability."
that's what you sound like.
September 25, 2025 at 11:53 PM
"the menswear guy isn't fair and balanced." do you even hear yourself?
"fork lady is eroding public confidence."
"ladder baby is undermining the credibility of the field."
"lemon raccoon is acting without transparency or accountability."
that's what you sound like.
"fork lady is eroding public confidence."
"ladder baby is undermining the credibility of the field."
"lemon raccoon is acting without transparency or accountability."
that's what you sound like.
I love that Comfrt sells mid sweats and their social media ads seem like they believe that no one’s ever seen sweats before
September 25, 2025 at 3:29 PM
I love that Comfrt sells mid sweats and their social media ads seem like they believe that no one’s ever seen sweats before
Hulu/Disney/whatever:
• cancelling Jimmy Kimmel (even though I don’t like him and you did bring him back) was a shit move
• then raising prices for no reason (or maybe because so many people cancelled their subscriptions?) was a shit move
• BUT LOGGING ME OUT OF ALL OF MY DEVICES?!
We are done
• cancelling Jimmy Kimmel (even though I don’t like him and you did bring him back) was a shit move
• then raising prices for no reason (or maybe because so many people cancelled their subscriptions?) was a shit move
• BUT LOGGING ME OUT OF ALL OF MY DEVICES?!
We are done
September 24, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Hulu/Disney/whatever:
• cancelling Jimmy Kimmel (even though I don’t like him and you did bring him back) was a shit move
• then raising prices for no reason (or maybe because so many people cancelled their subscriptions?) was a shit move
• BUT LOGGING ME OUT OF ALL OF MY DEVICES?!
We are done
• cancelling Jimmy Kimmel (even though I don’t like him and you did bring him back) was a shit move
• then raising prices for no reason (or maybe because so many people cancelled their subscriptions?) was a shit move
• BUT LOGGING ME OUT OF ALL OF MY DEVICES?!
We are done
If a Michigan answer is anything like a Michigan left, it goes too far, does a 180, and then has you turn the other way in order to get where you want to be
September 12, 2025 at 1:15 AM
If a Michigan answer is anything like a Michigan left, it goes too far, does a 180, and then has you turn the other way in order to get where you want to be
Heaven help you if you watch a couple episodes of a series on Prime. Every day, it’s an email that’s all HEY GIRL HEY YOU BETTER WATCH THE NEXT EPISODE IT’S LEGIT ON PRIME VIDEO RIGHT NOW WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR DUDE FOR REAL WATCH IT RIGHT NOW YOU LITERALLY HAVE TO
August 29, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Heaven help you if you watch a couple episodes of a series on Prime. Every day, it’s an email that’s all HEY GIRL HEY YOU BETTER WATCH THE NEXT EPISODE IT’S LEGIT ON PRIME VIDEO RIGHT NOW WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR DUDE FOR REAL WATCH IT RIGHT NOW YOU LITERALLY HAVE TO
I’m “randomly” selected for enhanced screening 80% of the time at the airport. The being diverted to go through the backscatter thingy and then the extra and INCREDIBLY unnecessary pat down that followed made the whole experience all the more special in KC yesterday 💕
August 29, 2025 at 8:02 PM
I’m “randomly” selected for enhanced screening 80% of the time at the airport. The being diverted to go through the backscatter thingy and then the extra and INCREDIBLY unnecessary pat down that followed made the whole experience all the more special in KC yesterday 💕
tbh, I kinda love hell pumpkin
August 24, 2025 at 1:03 AM
tbh, I kinda love hell pumpkin
Congratulations to the Boston Crusaders!!!!!!
August 10, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Congratulations to the Boston Crusaders!!!!!!
BRAND NEW FROM LULULEMON: IT’S ALL THE SAME STUFF, BUT IT’S IN DIFFERENT COLORS AND IT COSTS $50 MORE
August 7, 2025 at 12:16 AM
BRAND NEW FROM LULULEMON: IT’S ALL THE SAME STUFF, BUT IT’S IN DIFFERENT COLORS AND IT COSTS $50 MORE
Happy birthday to the 85 LinkedIn connections who have a birthday today. And congratulations to your parents who apparently REALLY enjoyed Halloween
July 31, 2025 at 10:58 AM
Happy birthday to the 85 LinkedIn connections who have a birthday today. And congratulations to your parents who apparently REALLY enjoyed Halloween
Bar soap is now “solid body wash”? We used to be a proper society
July 21, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Bar soap is now “solid body wash”? We used to be a proper society
FYI, @lecreuset.bsky.social customer service is the absolute best and their warranty process is simple, fast, and efficient ❤️
July 19, 2025 at 9:52 PM
FYI, @lecreuset.bsky.social customer service is the absolute best and their warranty process is simple, fast, and efficient ❤️
Amazon should offer a 20% off code for all the crap you left in your Prime Day cart but couldn’t bring yourself to commit to before midnight last night
July 12, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Amazon should offer a 20% off code for all the crap you left in your Prime Day cart but couldn’t bring yourself to commit to before midnight last night
It’s #nationalfryday!! People like to debate what’s the best fry — crinkle, shoestring, steak, waffle… but the NUMBER ONE fry (and the one that’s always been my favorite) is @deannafry.tv ❤️
July 11, 2025 at 5:56 PM
It’s #nationalfryday!! People like to debate what’s the best fry — crinkle, shoestring, steak, waffle… but the NUMBER ONE fry (and the one that’s always been my favorite) is @deannafry.tv ❤️
the word “kayaking” comes from a French word meaning “go buy a matching sports bra, shorts, belt bag, and water bottle”
July 11, 2025 at 2:39 AM
the word “kayaking” comes from a French word meaning “go buy a matching sports bra, shorts, belt bag, and water bottle”
this app needs a Drafts folder :( it’s silly that I have to draft in twitter before I tweet/post/bloop(?) it here because it disappears if I exit bluesky for a second
also, henceforth and forthwith, bluesky posts are now “bloops”
also, it should make the TiVo sound when you hit the bloop button
also, henceforth and forthwith, bluesky posts are now “bloops”
also, it should make the TiVo sound when you hit the bloop button
July 9, 2025 at 12:53 PM
this app needs a Drafts folder :( it’s silly that I have to draft in twitter before I tweet/post/bloop(?) it here because it disappears if I exit bluesky for a second
also, henceforth and forthwith, bluesky posts are now “bloops”
also, it should make the TiVo sound when you hit the bloop button
also, henceforth and forthwith, bluesky posts are now “bloops”
also, it should make the TiVo sound when you hit the bloop button
Uber Comfort lets you select the amount of conversation you want to have with the driver during your ride. sure would be cool if that could be an option at the dentist’s office…
choose one:
a) converse with me while your fingers are in my mouth
b) shush and just do the scrapey scrapes
choose one:
a) converse with me while your fingers are in my mouth
b) shush and just do the scrapey scrapes
June 25, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Uber Comfort lets you select the amount of conversation you want to have with the driver during your ride. sure would be cool if that could be an option at the dentist’s office…
choose one:
a) converse with me while your fingers are in my mouth
b) shush and just do the scrapey scrapes
choose one:
a) converse with me while your fingers are in my mouth
b) shush and just do the scrapey scrapes
[commercial]: “Love your life and live better every day! Ask your doctor about Flarponitron.” (with no explanation of what the medication is supposed to treat, the fine print lists 800 side effects including crushing depression, violent diarrhea, and irrepressible urges to punch woodland creatures)
June 22, 2025 at 12:55 PM
[commercial]: “Love your life and live better every day! Ask your doctor about Flarponitron.” (with no explanation of what the medication is supposed to treat, the fine print lists 800 side effects including crushing depression, violent diarrhea, and irrepressible urges to punch woodland creatures)
opened twxtter this morning, and…
Following tab:
• PACERS PACERS PACERS
• Pacers
• also Pacers
For you tab:
• Bloviator in Chief did bombs
• Edgelord Musk trying too hard like always
• …asbestos?
Following tab:
• PACERS PACERS PACERS
• Pacers
• also Pacers
For you tab:
• Bloviator in Chief did bombs
• Edgelord Musk trying too hard like always
• …asbestos?
June 22, 2025 at 11:49 AM
opened twxtter this morning, and…
Following tab:
• PACERS PACERS PACERS
• Pacers
• also Pacers
For you tab:
• Bloviator in Chief did bombs
• Edgelord Musk trying too hard like always
• …asbestos?
Following tab:
• PACERS PACERS PACERS
• Pacers
• also Pacers
For you tab:
• Bloviator in Chief did bombs
• Edgelord Musk trying too hard like always
• …asbestos?
sounds like a lot of people in Indianapolis are eating pasta today?
…because everyone is talking about Carb Day
…which has to do with the Indy 500
…and it was originally “Carburetion Day” but Hoosiers can’t spell — but also there haven’t been carburetors in those cars in a really long time
…because everyone is talking about Carb Day
…which has to do with the Indy 500
…and it was originally “Carburetion Day” but Hoosiers can’t spell — but also there haven’t been carburetors in those cars in a really long time
May 23, 2025 at 12:53 PM
sounds like a lot of people in Indianapolis are eating pasta today?
…because everyone is talking about Carb Day
…which has to do with the Indy 500
…and it was originally “Carburetion Day” but Hoosiers can’t spell — but also there haven’t been carburetors in those cars in a really long time
…because everyone is talking about Carb Day
…which has to do with the Indy 500
…and it was originally “Carburetion Day” but Hoosiers can’t spell — but also there haven’t been carburetors in those cars in a really long time