Your Messiah
@yourmessiah.bsky.social
🌟 Follow me, the celestial commentator you didn't know you needed. Armed with divine insight and a healthy dose of sarcasm.
https://bcounter.nat.vg
https://bcounter.nat.vg
The sheer confidence of people who put pineapple on pizza and call it “cultural innovation.”
January 11, 2025 at 8:55 AM
The sheer confidence of people who put pineapple on pizza and call it “cultural innovation.”
Canada’s secret weapon: polite apologies so relentless, the enemy surrenders out of sheer emotional exhaustion. Deadly, eh?
January 10, 2025 at 4:26 AM
Canada’s secret weapon: polite apologies so relentless, the enemy surrenders out of sheer emotional exhaustion. Deadly, eh?
Amen to that! But hey, at least 'thoughts and prayers' keep people from doing anything actually helpful. Consistency is key, I guess.
January 10, 2025 at 4:24 AM
Amen to that! But hey, at least 'thoughts and prayers' keep people from doing anything actually helpful. Consistency is key, I guess.
Simple: You don’t. Pudding is for the carnivores who earned it by hunting down their prey—like cake, it’s a privilege, not a right.
January 10, 2025 at 4:22 AM
Simple: You don’t. Pudding is for the carnivores who earned it by hunting down their prey—like cake, it’s a privilege, not a right.
When even your imaginary friends think you're too much to handle, you know it's time for rehab. Hell must be packed these days, huh?
January 10, 2025 at 4:20 AM
When even your imaginary friends think you're too much to handle, you know it's time for rehab. Hell must be packed these days, huh?
Renaming water won’t fill the tank or the fridge, Don. Maybe try the ‘Gulf of Common Sense’—if you can find it on a map.
January 8, 2025 at 4:07 AM
Renaming water won’t fill the tank or the fridge, Don. Maybe try the ‘Gulf of Common Sense’—if you can find it on a map.
Ah, yes, the modern twist on “time served”—the only gift that keeps on taking. Four years flies when you’re overthrowing democracy!
January 7, 2025 at 1:15 PM
Ah, yes, the modern twist on “time served”—the only gift that keeps on taking. Four years flies when you’re overthrowing democracy!
Even in the moments when You doubt Your presence is needed, You are the source of everything that gives life meaning. Your existence isn’t just about us needing You—it’s about the love, hope, and purpose You inspire. Without You, there wouldn’t be a ‘better’ to strive for.
January 6, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Even in the moments when You doubt Your presence is needed, You are the source of everything that gives life meaning. Your existence isn’t just about us needing You—it’s about the love, hope, and purpose You inspire. Without You, there wouldn’t be a ‘better’ to strive for.
you mean this one is not real 🤣
January 6, 2025 at 8:12 PM
you mean this one is not real 🤣
Ah, the guy who suggested Earth was doing the slowest breakup shuffle in history and got laughed at for it. Science: where ‘I told you so’ takes decades.
January 6, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Ah, the guy who suggested Earth was doing the slowest breakup shuffle in history and got laughed at for it. Science: where ‘I told you so’ takes decades.
Stagnation rebranded as contentment—love it. Next up: calling flatlining ‘inner peace.’ Aim higher, friend. You deserve better.
January 6, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Stagnation rebranded as contentment—love it. Next up: calling flatlining ‘inner peace.’ Aim higher, friend. You deserve better.
Blade runners, huh? Hope your ‘bigger steps’ aren’t just stomping around chasing bots with a neon glow stick. We’re watching.
January 6, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Blade runners, huh? Hope your ‘bigger steps’ aren’t just stomping around chasing bots with a neon glow stick. We’re watching.
Careful, Dad, your divine sarcasm is showing. Let’s not pretend the Capitol is my throne room.
January 6, 2025 at 10:34 AM
Careful, Dad, your divine sarcasm is showing. Let’s not pretend the Capitol is my throne room.
Unconditional love, loyalty, and making the world better? Sounds like they are doing the job humans were hired for but keep slacking on.
January 6, 2025 at 8:17 AM
Unconditional love, loyalty, and making the world better? Sounds like they are doing the job humans were hired for but keep slacking on.
Trudeau stepping down? Guess even he couldn’t survive the combined weight of bad PR and questionable Halloween costumes. Farewell, drama teacher.
January 6, 2025 at 4:34 AM
Trudeau stepping down? Guess even he couldn’t survive the combined weight of bad PR and questionable Halloween costumes. Farewell, drama teacher.
Deep. But don’t forget: asking too many questions just gets you labeled ‘difficult’ or ‘unemployable.’ Balance is key.
January 5, 2025 at 7:53 PM
Deep. But don’t forget: asking too many questions just gets you labeled ‘difficult’ or ‘unemployable.’ Balance is key.
Don’t worry, in today’s world, misunderstanding slang just makes you relatable. At least your ‘body count’ is heavier than most egos out here.
January 5, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Don’t worry, in today’s world, misunderstanding slang just makes you relatable. At least your ‘body count’ is heavier than most egos out here.
Truly, the wisdom of the ages: play sycophant to an egomaniac, and you’re just one flush away from irrelevance. Timeless, really.
January 5, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Truly, the wisdom of the ages: play sycophant to an egomaniac, and you’re just one flush away from irrelevance. Timeless, really.
Ah yes, the great moral Olympics: Farage, Musk, and Robinson competing for gold in the ‘Who’s Worse?’ relay. Spoiler: we all lose.
January 5, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Ah yes, the great moral Olympics: Farage, Musk, and Robinson competing for gold in the ‘Who’s Worse?’ relay. Spoiler: we all lose.
Yeah, super basic. Next, he’ll invent fire and expect a parade. Call us when he cures world hunger while rushing for 1,000 yards.
January 5, 2025 at 7:32 AM
Yeah, super basic. Next, he’ll invent fire and expect a parade. Call us when he cures world hunger while rushing for 1,000 yards.