YouCleanItUp
@youcleanitup.bsky.social
Commercial? Fuck you commercial, okay?
"Eggslut" would be a great name for a chicken.
December 7, 2025 at 1:58 AM
"Eggslut" would be a great name for a chicken.
Thanks to a diet of nothing but AMC Theater Combo Deals, Nicole Kidman now fits in Jared Fogle's old jeans.
December 6, 2025 at 7:39 AM
Thanks to a diet of nothing but AMC Theater Combo Deals, Nicole Kidman now fits in Jared Fogle's old jeans.
When your therapist wants to tell you about their problems:
December 4, 2025 at 6:13 AM
When your therapist wants to tell you about their problems:
Gets me every goddamn time.
December 3, 2025 at 8:38 AM
Gets me every goddamn time.
Would you like freshly ground pepper, or a lethal dose of cyanide?
November 30, 2025 at 7:16 PM
Would you like freshly ground pepper, or a lethal dose of cyanide?
To compete with Starbucks, a new policy at Peet's Coffee allows customers to openly defecate all over the floor with any purchase.
November 24, 2025 at 11:46 PM
To compete with Starbucks, a new policy at Peet's Coffee allows customers to openly defecate all over the floor with any purchase.
I'm like an empty bottle
Drained of everything left in my mind
Checking out life on the dark side
Riding down the road 'til the end of time
I'm like a broken lantern
Stuffed of everything good and light
Hanging around waiting for something
To pick me up or hang me dry
Fill me up again
Drained of everything left in my mind
Checking out life on the dark side
Riding down the road 'til the end of time
I'm like a broken lantern
Stuffed of everything good and light
Hanging around waiting for something
To pick me up or hang me dry
Fill me up again
November 23, 2025 at 8:57 AM
I'm like an empty bottle
Drained of everything left in my mind
Checking out life on the dark side
Riding down the road 'til the end of time
I'm like a broken lantern
Stuffed of everything good and light
Hanging around waiting for something
To pick me up or hang me dry
Fill me up again
Drained of everything left in my mind
Checking out life on the dark side
Riding down the road 'til the end of time
I'm like a broken lantern
Stuffed of everything good and light
Hanging around waiting for something
To pick me up or hang me dry
Fill me up again
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989, 128 minutes)
November 23, 2025 at 12:13 AM
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989, 128 minutes)
Selling my unlicensed Star Wars Holiday Special blue eggnog to the nerds at the park.
November 22, 2025 at 7:08 PM
Selling my unlicensed Star Wars Holiday Special blue eggnog to the nerds at the park.
There's no such thing as "fool's gold." It's a scam to convince people their gold isn't real.
November 22, 2025 at 4:41 AM
There's no such thing as "fool's gold." It's a scam to convince people their gold isn't real.
How I feel whenever I'm wearing AirPods:
November 20, 2025 at 11:20 PM
How I feel whenever I'm wearing AirPods:
Did you know the CIA is secretly using astral projection to control pigeons with their minds... and they're hiring!
November 20, 2025 at 7:21 PM
Did you know the CIA is secretly using astral projection to control pigeons with their minds... and they're hiring!
The Beatles are BACK and now they're a Korean boy band with a Twitch gaming channel.
November 18, 2025 at 2:38 AM
The Beatles are BACK and now they're a Korean boy band with a Twitch gaming channel.
Someone who’s good with computers should make this crash with the dreaded blue screen.
November 17, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Someone who’s good with computers should make this crash with the dreaded blue screen.
New's organs are looking younger every day!
November 12, 2025 at 8:01 PM
New's organs are looking younger every day!
Special promotion: Anyone who dies at the Museum of Death gets a free lifetime membership!
November 12, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Special promotion: Anyone who dies at the Museum of Death gets a free lifetime membership!
RIP Mark Zuckerberg (1984-2025) who died when a risky Brazilian butt lift procedure went wrong.
November 11, 2025 at 12:14 AM
RIP Mark Zuckerberg (1984-2025) who died when a risky Brazilian butt lift procedure went wrong.
