Thirty, Flirty, & Forever Alone (✨my 4th book out 11.11.2025!✨) is available for preorder now! a.co/d/f5HXbtv
💙 27 Dresses meets Crazy-Ex Girlfriend
💙 adult rom-com with a splash of magic
💙 singLe while EVeryOne elsE is getting pregnant & getting married
💙whimsical late bloomer times

frantically cleaning my house cuz the cleaning lady’s coming tomorrow 🙃

i just killed a spider on my ceiling with a baseball bat. i couldn’t let it get away and throwing a book meant risking it falling off the ceiling. stakes were too high.

i could not stop thinking about Onyx Storm. i’m in love with Xaden Riroson. Rebecca Yarros has brought me back to youtube 🖤

ONYX STORM IS TOP TIER | booktalk with xtinemay
youtu.be/UiUqMq3pixo

i got my edits back a week after i submitted the first draft of book 4.
*heavy breathing*

i’m fine this is fine.

me: *working on my book due January 6 from family home in jersey*

family every hour: HAVE U FINISHED UR BOOK YET

me: i will be working untill the deadline

one hour later: are u finished with ur book yet

🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

the Shrinking s2 finale 🥹🖤🙌

remember when were constantly privy to how many times we’d listened to any song in our music library because itunes literally kept score XD

why does the dentist always try to upsell me.

i have to walk in there like ross gellar quitting the gym.

I JUST WANT A CLEANING. PLEASE JUST THE CLEANING.

why is my feed here 95% …. cats? XD

algorithm i like movies, tv, books, dogs, pop girlies, and taylor swift ✨✌️

i can’t wait to learn the unadulterated loathing choreo during my writing breaks this weekend. CANT WAIT.

just got out of Wicked.

*lights come up*
mom: why aRE yoU cryInG??
me: it was absolute perfection?? HOW ARE U NOT?! IVE BEEN SOBBING SINCE THE DANCE

.

trying to work with my family around is like trying to work in a beehive. ✨

causally crying thinking about how emo i’m going to be watching the live stream of tays last eras tour show

frantically figure out what to get all your loved ones for christmas week hath begun 🎁

hi! I write comedy books about women figuring out life in their 20’s and falling in love 🤓

i’m from jersey (the new one)
i live in california
i made bookish comedy videos on the internet for 13 years under the name polandbanansbooks

WHAT UP ✌️