@glastonbury.bsky.social 🔺 A MESSAGE FROM THE OTHER PYRAMID 🔺 bsky.app/profile/wiza...

🔺 Newport Pyramid 🔺

🌀 This transmission is sponsored by… The Newport Pyramid

Tired of the cost of flights and passport queues?

Well descend into the sands of ancient mystery at... the Newport Pyramid.

🧼 Free parking, 🎾 squash & tennis court, 🥙 hummus.

📍 Newport Pyramid, Just off the A4042

👻 GHOST QUEEN OPENS WAITROSE 👻

The late Queen Mum returned from the beyond to snip the ribbon at a new Little Waitrose — then vanished in a puff of regal mist.

#interdimensionalnews #harrypotter #wizard #satire #fantasynews #aiartdaily

BREAKING: Astronomers have confirmed the existence of a newly charted galaxy composed entirely of screams. The sound—described as “eternal and inescapable”—can only be heard when extremely hungover.

#MultiverseAstronomy

BREAKTHROUGH: Potion 919b Reverses Curse Damage in Clinical Trials

Side effects include:

* Invisibility
* Involuntary humming of ancient war ballads
* Sudden fluency in extinct dialects
* Dreams narrated by an old sea captain
* Diarrhoea and vomiting

#MagicalBreakthrough #CurseReversal

CHEEKY KEITH INCINERATES RED CARPET

Watch the GEE-Q Awards disaster unfold!

#WizardNews #GEEQawards #DragonMediaTraining

LORD FLATULOUS SWORN IN AS PRESIDENT
Historic.
Sentient gas cloud from dimension X29Alpha accidentally incinerates CNN reporter.

#WizardNews #FlatulentLeadership #MultiversePolitics #FartBombDiplomacy

BREAKING:
Leprechaun drops bombshell accusations against ancient wizard Odris the Grey.

Zen Throdney reports from the Nethersphere:

#WizardNews #TimesUpPotFondlers
#TimmyMcShingles #MultiverseJustice

Don’t ask how he got the job
Don’t ask what species he is
Just trust the horns
Zen Throdney knows the truth
and he’s here to read it to you
#WizardNews #NethersphereLive

Wizard News is broadcasting soon via an inter dimensional space portal connected to a rusty TV antenna here on Earth!