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Wizard News
@wizardnewsnetwork.bsky.social
The latest news and gossip from the Nethersphere via a magical inter dimensional space portal hooked to a wonky TV transmitter.

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@glastonbury.bsky.social 🔺 A MESSAGE FROM THE OTHER PYRAMID 🔺 bsky.app/profile/wiza...
🔺 Newport Pyramid 🔺

🌀 This transmission is sponsored by… The Newport Pyramid

Tired of the cost of flights and passport queues?

Well descend into the sands of ancient mystery at... the Newport Pyramid.

🧼 Free parking, 🎾 squash & tennis court, 🥙 hummus.

📍 Newport Pyramid, Just off the A4042
June 13, 2025 at 10:30 AM
🔺 Newport Pyramid 🔺

🌀 This transmission is sponsored by… The Newport Pyramid

Tired of the cost of flights and passport queues?

Well descend into the sands of ancient mystery at... the Newport Pyramid.

🧼 Free parking, 🎾 squash & tennis court, 🥙 hummus.

📍 Newport Pyramid, Just off the A4042
June 12, 2025 at 1:58 PM
👻 GHOST QUEEN OPENS WAITROSE 👻

The late Queen Mum returned from the beyond to snip the ribbon at a new Little Waitrose — then vanished in a puff of regal mist.

#interdimensionalnews #harrypotter #wizard #satire #fantasynews #aiartdaily
June 2, 2025 at 9:11 AM
BREAKING: Astronomers have confirmed the existence of a newly charted galaxy composed entirely of screams. The sound—described as “eternal and inescapable”—can only be heard when extremely hungover.

#MultiverseAstronomy
May 26, 2025 at 5:10 PM
BREAKTHROUGH: Potion 919b Reverses Curse Damage in Clinical Trials

Side effects include:

* Invisibility
* Involuntary humming of ancient war ballads
* Sudden fluency in extinct dialects
* Dreams narrated by an old sea captain
* Diarrhoea and vomiting

#MagicalBreakthrough #CurseReversal
May 26, 2025 at 2:47 PM
CHEEKY KEITH INCINERATES RED CARPET

Watch the GEE-Q Awards disaster unfold!

#WizardNews #GEEQawards #DragonMediaTraining
May 22, 2025 at 9:01 AM
LORD FLATULOUS SWORN IN AS PRESIDENT
Historic.
Sentient gas cloud from dimension X29Alpha accidentally incinerates CNN reporter.

#WizardNews #FlatulentLeadership #MultiversePolitics #FartBombDiplomacy
May 20, 2025 at 7:49 AM
BREAKING:
Leprechaun drops bombshell accusations against ancient wizard Odris the Grey.

Zen Throdney reports from the Nethersphere:

#WizardNews #TimesUpPotFondlers
#TimmyMcShingles #MultiverseJustice
May 18, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Don’t ask how he got the job
Don’t ask what species he is
Just trust the horns
Zen Throdney knows the truth
and he’s here to read it to you
#WizardNews #NethersphereLive
May 18, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Wizard News is broadcasting soon via an inter dimensional space portal connected to a rusty TV antenna here on Earth!
May 18, 2025 at 1:42 PM