❤️🔥
@witnessborne.bsky.social
You're not the children of God for nothing
Scheduling an eye appointment before a date so he'll see my freakishly dilated pupils and think that I really really really like him
March 19, 2025 at 3:50 PM
Scheduling an eye appointment before a date so he'll see my freakishly dilated pupils and think that I really really really like him
I wouldn't have a career without online compilations of elevator music
February 25, 2025 at 7:08 PM
I wouldn't have a career without online compilations of elevator music
I feel so free right now. I want to walk around the Bangor Mall
February 19, 2025 at 10:27 PM
I feel so free right now. I want to walk around the Bangor Mall
Sharing an office space with a marketing company means it always smells like the damn mall in here
January 22, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Sharing an office space with a marketing company means it always smells like the damn mall in here
Reposted by ❤️🔥
Apple Watch says my piety continues increasing with ‘quiet, imperceptible tenacity.’
January 19, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Apple Watch says my piety continues increasing with ‘quiet, imperceptible tenacity.’
Been watching my parents' British murder mysteries with them and each episode basically concludes that whoever got killed deserved it
January 16, 2025 at 4:02 AM
Been watching my parents' British murder mysteries with them and each episode basically concludes that whoever got killed deserved it
Music doesn't hit the same after you realize all those guys are singing about loving other women, not you personally
January 14, 2025 at 10:56 PM
Music doesn't hit the same after you realize all those guys are singing about loving other women, not you personally
In 2024 I gave up cigarettes, coffee, gluten and regular alcohol, yet I'm just as fugly as ever. Crawling through the desolate valley consoled by neither vice nor reward. I think it's actually strengthening my character remarkably
January 10, 2025 at 4:13 PM
In 2024 I gave up cigarettes, coffee, gluten and regular alcohol, yet I'm just as fugly as ever. Crawling through the desolate valley consoled by neither vice nor reward. I think it's actually strengthening my character remarkably
I'm good I just had to take a minute to let some salt crystallize at my temples and remember I don't know who you are anymore
January 9, 2025 at 2:45 AM
I'm good I just had to take a minute to let some salt crystallize at my temples and remember I don't know who you are anymore
I'm in the office smelling stuff. Other people's cigarettes, vape juice particles, burning Keurig capsules, alcoholic perfume, old sticky notes, particle board and carpet dust. I'm grasping the bouquet
January 8, 2025 at 3:56 PM
I'm in the office smelling stuff. Other people's cigarettes, vape juice particles, burning Keurig capsules, alcoholic perfume, old sticky notes, particle board and carpet dust. I'm grasping the bouquet
Your job should give you a device that administers increasingly powerful electric shocks every time you think about the past or future while you're working
January 7, 2025 at 4:09 PM
Your job should give you a device that administers increasingly powerful electric shocks every time you think about the past or future while you're working
While you were studying the blade I was buying a spinning wheel on Facebook
January 6, 2025 at 3:42 PM
While you were studying the blade I was buying a spinning wheel on Facebook
Using the kindling splitter to prepare carrots for roasting
January 1, 2025 at 9:31 PM
Using the kindling splitter to prepare carrots for roasting
Santa Claus enters newly constructed apartment buildings by liquifying himself at the intake point of the heat pumps and spraying across the room in a fine mist
December 25, 2024 at 3:42 AM
Santa Claus enters newly constructed apartment buildings by liquifying himself at the intake point of the heat pumps and spraying across the room in a fine mist
Cut this guy down from the yard today and we're having a Charlie Brown moment
December 25, 2024 at 3:29 AM
Cut this guy down from the yard today and we're having a Charlie Brown moment
Using my fingers to draw a Do Not Disturb sign into the slime covering the rocks at the entrance to my gulch
December 23, 2024 at 9:01 PM
Using my fingers to draw a Do Not Disturb sign into the slime covering the rocks at the entrance to my gulch
The same beautifully bitchy old woman is working the library counter whenever I go and today when I had exact change for what I bought from their book sale she said "Well, aren't you perfect"
December 21, 2024 at 10:38 PM
The same beautifully bitchy old woman is working the library counter whenever I go and today when I had exact change for what I bought from their book sale she said "Well, aren't you perfect"
They were blasting the soundtrack to A Charlie Brown Christmas over portable loudspeakers at the dump today
December 8, 2024 at 1:05 AM
They were blasting the soundtrack to A Charlie Brown Christmas over portable loudspeakers at the dump today
It happened. I found a handmade wool cardigan at a "curated vintage pop up shop" that has changed my life significantly enough to make me start knitting
December 6, 2024 at 4:57 PM
It happened. I found a handmade wool cardigan at a "curated vintage pop up shop" that has changed my life significantly enough to make me start knitting
My fiddle ensemble is doing a gender wars over my election as our tempo master
December 5, 2024 at 12:11 AM
My fiddle ensemble is doing a gender wars over my election as our tempo master
I'll come up with something to say on here soon
October 7, 2023 at 9:04 PM
I'll come up with something to say on here soon