Wilder Newyear
@wildernewyear.bsky.social
He/Him. Everyone's seventh or eighth favorite Waukegan resident. I do something with business software for a living, and like to pretend I'm a voice actor too. Expect Wrestling, Magic: the Gathering, and Chicago Sports. I'm not the Thai BL Drama actor
A friendly note to my non-NFL oomfies: the Chicago Bears play the Green Bay Packers next weekend, and both teams are incredibly good this season. As such, everyone you know from Illinois or Wisconsin is going to be absolutely insufferable for the next 9 days.
Consider this fair warning.
Consider this fair warning.
November 28, 2025 at 11:55 PM
A friendly note to my non-NFL oomfies: the Chicago Bears play the Green Bay Packers next weekend, and both teams are incredibly good this season. As such, everyone you know from Illinois or Wisconsin is going to be absolutely insufferable for the next 9 days.
Consider this fair warning.
Consider this fair warning.
Reposted by Wilder Newyear
The existence of Thanksgiving day implies the opposite existence of F-youreceiving day💕❤️✨
November 28, 2025 at 7:05 AM
The existence of Thanksgiving day implies the opposite existence of F-youreceiving day💕❤️✨
"Mr. Bad Example" works on both the "Unapologetic sleazeball rambling on inappropriately" and "screwing over indigenous populations" axes of the holiday.
A theory: all Warren Zevon songs are Thanksgiving songs because Warren Zevon has big Uncle Making A Scene energy
November 28, 2025 at 2:27 AM
"Mr. Bad Example" works on both the "Unapologetic sleazeball rambling on inappropriately" and "screwing over indigenous populations" axes of the holiday.
Post thing or something something Counting Crows Long December
![A picture of Garfield, accompanied with the following quote:
"So Taz -- The Tasmanian Devil -- was supposed to be in [Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue], but we all know he got pulled at the last minute. What they don't tell you is that half the cast was out partying the night before the shoot, and Alf shows up with an 8-ball of coke. It was the 80's, everyone else in the industry did it, so everyone just went along with it. Well, long story short, the producers found out and were furious if it got out we were drugged up doing anti-drug PSAs. Taz was from out of the country, so they made him the easy scapegoat and cut him from the film. Luckily, Slimer from Ghostbusters was doing a commercial on the other end of the lot that week, so we were able to bring him in and read the part."
The quote is attributed to Garfield, to Rolling Stone Magazine](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:2vuygv4pmflmfgxzvpgufdrz/bafkreiestbflvtineml4dx5s3evlrfubdq4ljqmwtnfl7bsttiaqaphe5i@jpeg)
November 28, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Post thing or something something Counting Crows Long December
My heart goes out to all the astrologers and mystics out there, trying to look up the moon phases this week and wondering why so many results mention the Detroit Lions.
November 25, 2025 at 3:03 PM
My heart goes out to all the astrologers and mystics out there, trying to look up the moon phases this week and wondering why so many results mention the Detroit Lions.
Reposted by Wilder Newyear
Annual reminder about turkey frying safety:
November 23, 2025 at 8:51 PM
Annual reminder about turkey frying safety:
1977: DJ Frankie Knuckles uses Gospel from Chicago's South Side to drive House Music
2025: Pope from Chicago's South Side uses House Music to drive Gospel
2025: Pope from Chicago's South Side uses House Music to drive Gospel
He said "Amen" straight into the drop
Lmao Pope Leo threw a rave for an archbishop's 75th birthday this is kind of incredible
Lmao Pope Leo threw a rave for an archbishop's 75th birthday this is kind of incredible
November 21, 2025 at 10:23 PM
1977: DJ Frankie Knuckles uses Gospel from Chicago's South Side to drive House Music
2025: Pope from Chicago's South Side uses House Music to drive Gospel
2025: Pope from Chicago's South Side uses House Music to drive Gospel
Reposted by Wilder Newyear
"Nobody wants to buy anything except for rare cards, because they're starting to realize that Monopoly has never been fun to play and that the new generation of My Little Pony isn't as good as that other one. You know, the one with Rainbow Dash?"
Hasbro Executives Begin Burning Wizards of the Coast Office Furniture For Warmth | Commander's Herald
Renton, Washington -- As the harsh winter approaches, Hasbro's board of directors huddle around the burning desk of Carmen Klomparens, hoping to stave off a freezing death for another night. "The trek...
commandersherald.com
November 21, 2025 at 5:29 PM
"Nobody wants to buy anything except for rare cards, because they're starting to realize that Monopoly has never been fun to play and that the new generation of My Little Pony isn't as good as that other one. You know, the one with Rainbow Dash?"
Reposted by Wilder Newyear
WotC Struggles to find New Content Creators after RFK Jr "Cures" Autism
commandersherald.com/wotc-struggl...
commandersherald.com/wotc-struggl...
WotC Struggles to find New Content Creators after RFK Jr "Cures" Autism | Commander's Herald
RENTON, WASHINGTON--Executives at Wizards of the Coast are scrambling after getting zero new applicants to their creator program last quarter. Sources within the Hasbro subsidiary point to one culprit...
commandersherald.com
November 19, 2025 at 6:14 PM
WotC Struggles to find New Content Creators after RFK Jr "Cures" Autism
commandersherald.com/wotc-struggl...
commandersherald.com/wotc-struggl...
Pitching the idea of recreating the more absurd moments in professional wrestling, but with Professional stage actors. Let's see some Shakespearean talent handle The Finger Poke of Doom. Let's get a Broadway production of Six Men Standing on Ladders, Arguing About the Briefcase Between Them. 🤼
November 18, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Pitching the idea of recreating the more absurd moments in professional wrestling, but with Professional stage actors. Let's see some Shakespearean talent handle The Finger Poke of Doom. Let's get a Broadway production of Six Men Standing on Ladders, Arguing About the Briefcase Between Them. 🤼
Happy "newsflash dumbass, leaves IS plants" day to those who celebrate.
“hey hangman you promised us pics of plants, this is just a bunch of leaves what gives?” newsflash dumbass, leaves IS plants. leaves provide winter shelter for insects like lightning bugs and butterflies, fertilize the soil, and are a pain in the ass to move anyway so just leave them where you can
November 18, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Happy "newsflash dumbass, leaves IS plants" day to those who celebrate.
"Ma'am, we've been searching for five days. The men are tired", the mods solemnly report. "We haven't found anything that disallows them from posting 'I hope her bed sheets get filled with spiders' in the guidelines."
JK Rowling slams her fist on the desk. "Search harder!" she roars.
JK Rowling slams her fist on the desk. "Search harder!" she roars.
November 17, 2025 at 7:35 PM
"Ma'am, we've been searching for five days. The men are tired", the mods solemnly report. "We haven't found anything that disallows them from posting 'I hope her bed sheets get filled with spiders' in the guidelines."
JK Rowling slams her fist on the desk. "Search harder!" she roars.
JK Rowling slams her fist on the desk. "Search harder!" she roars.
El Hijo del Glenallen Mixon
November 17, 2025 at 6:08 PM
El Hijo del Glenallen Mixon
With Josh Johnson coming in to replace Mariotta, I have to show off his amazing Wikipedia table of contents.
November 16, 2025 at 4:48 PM
With Josh Johnson coming in to replace Mariotta, I have to show off his amazing Wikipedia table of contents.
Do other parts of the country have memetic daytime TV ads, or are the ones from Chicago so memorable that they exist in a category of their own?
November 16, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Do other parts of the country have memetic daytime TV ads, or are the ones from Chicago so memorable that they exist in a category of their own?
So many likely know there's a statue of Jack Benny in downtown Waukegan, IL. But one cool Easter Egg is the relief on the rear of the statue depicting Benny's infamous vault (complete with the alligators).
November 15, 2025 at 4:06 PM
So many likely know there's a statue of Jack Benny in downtown Waukegan, IL. But one cool Easter Egg is the relief on the rear of the statue depicting Benny's infamous vault (complete with the alligators).
"So she had this feud with Mary Morello..... Mary is the mother of Tom Morello..... Tom Morello was the guitarist for Rage Against the Machine..... Rage Against the Machine was a band in the 90's....."
Also from the office today: My OK Boomer moment trying to explain to some young scientists who Tipper Gore was.
November 14, 2025 at 8:15 PM
"So she had this feud with Mary Morello..... Mary is the mother of Tom Morello..... Tom Morello was the guitarist for Rage Against the Machine..... Rage Against the Machine was a band in the 90's....."
Metroid Prime 4 charity speedruns are going to have bid wars about whether you save or kill the buddy companion character.
November 14, 2025 at 7:11 PM
Metroid Prime 4 charity speedruns are going to have bid wars about whether you save or kill the buddy companion character.
Reposted by Wilder Newyear
happy Partially Muscled Skeleton Stands by the Perimeter Fence and Screams for Thirty Seconds Before Vanishing day
November 14, 2025 at 6:39 AM
happy Partially Muscled Skeleton Stands by the Perimeter Fence and Screams for Thirty Seconds Before Vanishing day
In an age of turmoil and strife, the people called out for Super Chicken.
But he did not answer.
But he did not answer.
November 13, 2025 at 10:02 PM
In an age of turmoil and strife, the people called out for Super Chicken.
But he did not answer.
But he did not answer.
"Comrades, it is clear we are at an impasse." I shout to the high council of Grunklers. "It is time we refer back to the Sacred Teachings."
"Sacred Teachings, Sacred Teachings" the others chant as I put the "Saturday Night Live - Best of Chris Farley" DVD into the player.
"Sacred Teachings, Sacred Teachings" the others chant as I put the "Saturday Night Live - Best of Chris Farley" DVD into the player.
November 13, 2025 at 6:17 PM
"Comrades, it is clear we are at an impasse." I shout to the high council of Grunklers. "It is time we refer back to the Sacred Teachings."
"Sacred Teachings, Sacred Teachings" the others chant as I put the "Saturday Night Live - Best of Chris Farley" DVD into the player.
"Sacred Teachings, Sacred Teachings" the others chant as I put the "Saturday Night Live - Best of Chris Farley" DVD into the player.
Thank you Epstein list. You're saving the 90's Late Night Talk Show comedy writing industry.
Well, now that I have my previous contacts registered on here, now I can move on to unpacking all my old shitposts. Chronologically.
"You find it funny how all the half-man beasts in Greek Mythos end in '-aur'? Half-horse is a Centaur, Half-bull is a Minotaur, and Half-turkey is a Kenneth Starr!"
"You find it funny how all the half-man beasts in Greek Mythos end in '-aur'? Half-horse is a Centaur, Half-bull is a Minotaur, and Half-turkey is a Kenneth Starr!"
November 13, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Thank you Epstein list. You're saving the 90's Late Night Talk Show comedy writing industry.
It's a shame the release timelines for MTG's Duel Decks and Universes Beyond lines never overlapped, so that we could finally get Duel Decks Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever.
November 13, 2025 at 2:20 AM
It's a shame the release timelines for MTG's Duel Decks and Universes Beyond lines never overlapped, so that we could finally get Duel Decks Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever.
"What do you mean the British are supposed to be the good guys?!"
~ Me, after my James Bond reboot was turned down
~ Me, after my James Bond reboot was turned down
November 12, 2025 at 4:59 PM
"What do you mean the British are supposed to be the good guys?!"
~ Me, after my James Bond reboot was turned down
~ Me, after my James Bond reboot was turned down
Right Brain: No, deals and bonus miles are not what 11/11 was about.
Left Brain: All wars since the 18th century have been about capitalism. This is exactly what 11/11 is about.
Left Brain: All wars since the 18th century have been about capitalism. This is exactly what 11/11 is about.
November 11, 2025 at 6:16 PM
Right Brain: No, deals and bonus miles are not what 11/11 was about.
Left Brain: All wars since the 18th century have been about capitalism. This is exactly what 11/11 is about.
Left Brain: All wars since the 18th century have been about capitalism. This is exactly what 11/11 is about.