He Called Me Greenhorn
@whatsagreenhorn.bsky.social
Yes, the one from Twitter
Reposted by He Called Me Greenhorn
snow white and the seven dollars i wish i'd spent elsewhere!
March 25, 2025 at 9:57 PM
snow white and the seven dollars i wish i'd spent elsewhere!
Mind your business
It's getting bad, I saw two Simpsons profile pic accounts fighting
June 22, 2025 at 11:05 PM
Mind your business
Uh ok big day for your mom I guess
June 12, 2025 at 1:10 PM
Uh ok big day for your mom I guess
Welcome *John Wick fight scene* to Applebee's
May 24, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Welcome *John Wick fight scene* to Applebee's
Reposted by He Called Me Greenhorn
i’m actually not walking here. i did live in new york for some years. during that time i was walking here. but that was there
May 10, 2025 at 6:14 AM
i’m actually not walking here. i did live in new york for some years. during that time i was walking here. but that was there
Reposted by He Called Me Greenhorn
JESUS: *holds up bread* this is my body
*holds up wine* this is my blood
*holds up hotdog* this is a sandwich lol
JUDAS: ok that DOES IT
*holds up wine* this is my blood
*holds up hotdog* this is a sandwich lol
JUDAS: ok that DOES IT
April 18, 2025 at 2:48 PM
JESUS: *holds up bread* this is my body
*holds up wine* this is my blood
*holds up hotdog* this is a sandwich lol
JUDAS: ok that DOES IT
*holds up wine* this is my blood
*holds up hotdog* this is a sandwich lol
JUDAS: ok that DOES IT
[Extremely New York voice]
AYYY I'M RISEN HERE!!
AYYY I'M RISEN HERE!!
April 20, 2025 at 2:33 PM
[Extremely New York voice]
AYYY I'M RISEN HERE!!
AYYY I'M RISEN HERE!!
I've been made aware of The Drama and I am extremely mad about it. I renounce in the strongest possible terms my awareness of The Drama and as a result my entire consciousness. I wish everything but the best for everyone involved.
March 21, 2025 at 1:33 PM
I've been made aware of The Drama and I am extremely mad about it. I renounce in the strongest possible terms my awareness of The Drama and as a result my entire consciousness. I wish everything but the best for everyone involved.
Reposted by He Called Me Greenhorn
(the next episode voice)
ice cream everyday
ice cream everyday
March 5, 2025 at 12:15 PM
(the next episode voice)
ice cream everyday
ice cream everyday
This is such a diabolical way of informing me I've won $4 on a $10 ticket lmao
March 5, 2025 at 2:12 PM
This is such a diabolical way of informing me I've won $4 on a $10 ticket lmao
Today I introduced my favorite coworker to the version of Jack & Diane where the guy mostly just sings "suckin on chili dog" on repeat and dear reader she was much less happy about it than I expected her to be
February 28, 2025 at 12:55 AM
Today I introduced my favorite coworker to the version of Jack & Diane where the guy mostly just sings "suckin on chili dog" on repeat and dear reader she was much less happy about it than I expected her to be
Textbooks would later describe her as a giant of a woman, scraping the ceiling of the cabin at 5'4"
February 27, 2025 at 1:53 PM
Textbooks would later describe her as a giant of a woman, scraping the ceiling of the cabin at 5'4"
Imagine volunteering for the civil war and you show up to get your rifle and they hand you a snare drum lmao
February 25, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Imagine volunteering for the civil war and you show up to get your rifle and they hand you a snare drum lmao
My Sprite can told me to obey my thirst so I put it in the toaster oven with a note that said NO GODS NO MASTERS
February 24, 2025 at 6:53 PM
My Sprite can told me to obey my thirst so I put it in the toaster oven with a note that said NO GODS NO MASTERS
Citric the Entertainer lmao
February 3, 2025 at 1:51 AM
Citric the Entertainer lmao
Hard to believe in only 3 short years people are going to say you so 2000 and 20-late
February 3, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Hard to believe in only 3 short years people are going to say you so 2000 and 20-late
Reposted by He Called Me Greenhorn
groundhog: six more weeks of winter
shorts all year guy: i am unphased by this news
shorts all year guy: i am unphased by this news
February 2, 2025 at 1:25 PM
groundhog: six more weeks of winter
shorts all year guy: i am unphased by this news
shorts all year guy: i am unphased by this news
Reposted by He Called Me Greenhorn
[cookie monster quietly to himself just before going on camera]
it's just a job it's just a job it's just a job
[camera rolls]
(deep sigh) ME WANT COOKIE
it's just a job it's just a job it's just a job
[camera rolls]
(deep sigh) ME WANT COOKIE
February 1, 2025 at 4:35 PM
[cookie monster quietly to himself just before going on camera]
it's just a job it's just a job it's just a job
[camera rolls]
(deep sigh) ME WANT COOKIE
it's just a job it's just a job it's just a job
[camera rolls]
(deep sigh) ME WANT COOKIE
I hate Sixpence None the Richer. What the fuck is milky twilight? None of this is sexy.
January 6, 2025 at 7:11 PM
I hate Sixpence None the Richer. What the fuck is milky twilight? None of this is sexy.
Lumberjack pain reliever call that a flannelgesic
December 10, 2024 at 9:37 PM
Lumberjack pain reliever call that a flannelgesic
Reposted by He Called Me Greenhorn
genie: what are your three wishes
me: make me a waffle
[suddenly I am a waffle]
me: no, like a waffle to eat
[in a flash waffle me is on a plate]
me: no! for me to eat
[a much larger me sits down in front of the plate]
me: make me a waffle
[suddenly I am a waffle]
me: no, like a waffle to eat
[in a flash waffle me is on a plate]
me: no! for me to eat
[a much larger me sits down in front of the plate]
December 6, 2024 at 6:43 PM
genie: what are your three wishes
me: make me a waffle
[suddenly I am a waffle]
me: no, like a waffle to eat
[in a flash waffle me is on a plate]
me: no! for me to eat
[a much larger me sits down in front of the plate]
me: make me a waffle
[suddenly I am a waffle]
me: no, like a waffle to eat
[in a flash waffle me is on a plate]
me: no! for me to eat
[a much larger me sits down in front of the plate]
Me: this could have been an email lmao
Funeral director: probably not
Funeral director: probably not
December 9, 2024 at 3:52 AM
Me: this could have been an email lmao
Funeral director: probably not
Funeral director: probably not
Ending the year on a strong note by calling my Gen Z coworker Skibbidi Payroll. She hates it but it's the life she chose.
December 2, 2024 at 4:34 PM
Ending the year on a strong note by calling my Gen Z coworker Skibbidi Payroll. She hates it but it's the life she chose.
Thankful that my family understands I occasionally need to leave the table because my social battery is running low and also because I have explosive diarrhea
November 29, 2024 at 12:48 AM
Thankful that my family understands I occasionally need to leave the table because my social battery is running low and also because I have explosive diarrhea