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whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
Cate
@whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
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30s | she/her | pirate brainrot 🏴‍☠️ | brain bees
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whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
Got a bug in my brain—new little #WIPWednesday with a Stede spiral #ofmd #gentlebeard
He sighed and let his head thunk back against the wall. Edward. Beautiful, brilliant, creative, thoughtful, perfect Edward whose ad for a room to rent he had answered nearly six months ago was out tonight meeting someone and likely falling in love and then one day he’ll tell Stede that he wants the new guy to move in so could Stede please find a new place to live, but of course they’ll still be best friends, but then he’ll start moving their plans and making excuses as to why they can’t meet up, and then he’ll tell Stede that he’s great but that he wants to make sure he’s focusing on his relationship, and then one day Stede will be alone in his shoebox apartment with a cat who doesn’t really like him that he adopted to ease the loneliness and he’ll open the mail to see a wedding invitation for Edward and fucking Daniel or some shit and he won’t have even known it was coming and he’ll be sitting in the audience watching as Ed says his vows and rides off into the sunset with his true love.
October 15, 2025 at 4:46 PM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
I’m so sorry, I know this is a serious problem, but this is all I could picture.
October 3, 2025 at 2:43 AM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
Ch. 7 of Forgotten

Ed isn't ready to let go of Stede yet, so when Stede offers yet another diversion, he can't help but say yes.

archiveofourown.org/works/668696...
October 2, 2025 at 2:56 AM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
WIP Wednesday — in honor of OFMD’s bisexual week, please take a look at this little snippet from a Mary>Ed>Stede sandwich in which the long-suffering Mary is trying to make her husband realize his feelings for his best friend.

9/19 - Smut & Multiple Partners

@ofmdbisexualweek.bsky.social
“I doubt that’s possible, but I understand. He’s going to be here in a couple minutes. Why don’t you splash some cold water on your face?” Stede dutifully tromped off to the bathroom where Mary could hear the water running. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. She had never seen Stede this flustered, which is saying something because his baseline was already pretty high. The doorbell rang while he was back there, and she opened the door to see Edward Teach, forearm raised where he was leaning against the doorframe, looking away all cool-like. He had half of his long hair pulled up into a bun, and he was wearing mirrored aviators. Jesus Christ. He swung his head back to Mary, removing his sunglasses in what looked like practiced choreography, and jumped when he realized she was standing there instead of Stede. Immediately he straightened and hooked his sunglasses on his shirt collar. “Uh–hi–hello Mary.” “Hi Ed,” Mary responded, a knowing smile on her lips. She stepped out of the way so he could cross the threshold into their home.
September 17, 2025 at 2:31 PM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
And we're back with Ch. 6 of Forgotten.

Let's check in with Jack, Izzy, Mary, and Lucius.

archiveofourown.org/works/668696...
September 17, 2025 at 2:03 AM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
My postcard can be found in 2 packs!

www.32auctions.com/organization...

www.32auctions.com/organization...
August 31, 2025 at 1:50 PM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
This is my first time really putting my art out in the fandom, but I’m so proud of this piece. I hope you like it!
August 27, 2025 at 2:58 AM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
Forgotten Ch. 5 - It's begun.

archiveofourown.org/works/668696...
August 20, 2025 at 2:03 AM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
#WIPWednesday with my contribution for #ywmlp. Looking forward to sharing the whole piece—something strange is happening at the camp out.
August 13, 2025 at 5:28 PM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
Ch. 4 of Forgotten

Ed can't bear to say goodbye yet, so he takes Stede on a spur of the moment adventure. Why does it feel like they're clicking so well? And why can't Ed just say goodbye?

Note: Updated tags to include canon typical references to child abuse.

archiveofourown.org/works/668696...
August 6, 2025 at 10:44 PM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
Tell me where you are mentally, stuff from your camera roll only
July 29, 2025 at 12:41 AM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
Ch. 3 of Forgotten - Stede makes preparations after his disastrous non-reunion with Ed.

archiveofourown.org/works/668696...
July 23, 2025 at 2:46 AM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
July 20, 2025 at 2:21 AM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
Ch. 2 of Forgotten is up - Ed is preoccupied with the peculiar blond man who came into his bar a couple of days ago. I wonder if he'll see him again.

archiveofourown.org/works/668696...
The Forgotten. An OFMD fic by: What_Accountants_Do
July 8, 2025 at 6:35 PM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
Aw we have matching rosy maple moths.
June 28, 2025 at 4:31 AM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
7. Operation Fuck That Dad—Stede moves to a new town and becomes very acquainted with the local queer community. Bonus: the chapter names for each of Stede’s encounters.
June 27, 2025 at 9:13 AM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
I have so many in my little idea notebook.
June 27, 2025 at 1:22 AM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
#WIPWednesday

Ch. 2 of Forgotten: Ed meets a very interesting man on the train, but they’ve already met, actually. Right?
“Hey, man,” Ed called out, almost without thinking about it. “Good to see you again!” The blond looked confused, the same little knot that knit into his forehead when they talked at the bar formed again as he regarded Ed. He briefly checked behind him as if to make sure Ed was really talking to him. “I’m—I’m sorry?” he asked, looking around to see if Ed could be talking to anyone else in the near vicinity. Ed stood and gathered his bag, moving to the row in front of the man and leaning forward to chat. “Yeah! You came to my bar the other day. We had a whole conversation. Allergic to pineapples, right?” “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he mumbled in a nervous voice. “I don’t generally go out.” “Blackbeard’s! That’s my bar. You were just there, ordered a Sea Breeze?” He shook his head in the negative. “I’ve never had a Sea Breeze before. But I am allergic to pineapples… H-how did you know that?” “Mate, you told me. You okay?” The man looked down at himself, as though he didn’t know and had to check. “I-I think so.” “You seemed off when you came in the other day, too.” “When did you say I came in?”
June 25, 2025 at 2:01 PM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
I'm starting to post Forgotten - this is a fic that has been a labor of love. Still in progress, but I wanted to start posting, new chapter will go up about every two weeks.

Rated E.

archiveofourown.org/works/668696...
Street image with a cut out of a man in white. "The Forgotten" in text on the side.
June 25, 2025 at 1:02 AM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
#WIPWednesday — Past the Point of Delirium. Ed has insomnia and goes for a little nighttime stroll.
June 18, 2025 at 3:48 PM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
It’s still WIP Wednesday in my heart…

A snippet from Forgotten where Stede goes with Ed to get a tattoo. #ofmd #gentlebeard
“And I yours,” Ed replied, giving Stede another quick kiss on the lips. He twirled back around, transitioning to a single handhold and bounced lightly into the next step. “Think I’m gonna get a dagger, just under my ribs here,” he continued, gesturing with his free hand to the space. “A dagger to the ribs? Sounds painful,” Stede quipped, hip checking Ed lightly when he snorted. Waiting to cross the street, the men looked to the left and right for oncoming cars. “Nah, what’s important on the left side? Your liver? What does that even do?” They jogged across the street, Ed’s slightly longer legs putting him in the lead. He tugged Stede forward. Once safe on the sidewalk, Stede pulled Ed to a stop. “Your heart.” Ed tilted his head in confusion. “Huh?” “Your heart is on the left side.” Rolling his eyes, the bearded man scoffed. “Maybe the dagger is protecting it.” “Maybe your heart needs something soft,” Stede murmured, wrapping his arm around Ed’s waist and nuzzling into the other man’s neck. “Something lovely and gentle.” “Dunno, soft things get crushed, mate.” “That’s why we take care of them.” Burying his face in Stede’s hair, he replied, “Awwwwggghh you can’t just say stuff like that.”
June 12, 2025 at 11:56 AM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
Stede preparing for a lecture for his clothes design class: “Now who can tell me which pant foundation has the longest crotch tension?”

Ed, watching, barely concealed list in his eyes: “Mm, yes, say more about crotch tension.”
Diagram describing the tailoring difference between culottes, trousers, slacks, and jeans. In the corner, the text asks which pant foundation has the longest crotch tension.
June 1, 2025 at 12:56 PM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
#WIPWednesday

Another little snippet from Forgotten, where are is trying to puzzle out why this all feels so familiar.
Stede took Ed’s place and started unbuttoning his shirt. And oh this was a mistake, abort, abort Ed’s brain was screaming at him. He needed to look anywhere except this barrel-chested action hero in front of him. The man was built like a boxer from the 1920s or like he could carry a damsel in distress out of a tower (then he spent time chasing that thought out of his brain). Ed was trying to avert his gaze when something caught his eye. “You have a tattoo?” As if they had a mind of their own, Ed’s fingers reached out and dragged lightly over the dagger etched into the skin just below his left pec. “Hmm?” The blond looked down at where Ed’s fingers brushed against his skin. The touch felt electric, as slight as it was. “Oh yes. I can’t remember why, but I was happy when I got it.” He frowned and let his own thumb track the same path as Ed’s fingers. “It was probably a whim. I’m known to be whim-prone.” Suddenly cognizant of the fact that he was very much touching a stranger, Ed pulled his hand back quickly. “S’weird. I have one in the same place.” Ed lifted his own shirt to show Stede the sprig of lavender that was nested on the left side of his own chest. “When did you get yours?” Stede leaned forward and his hand lifted halfway across the distance between them, like he was also going to reach out and touch Ed, quick and instinctual, but he managed to restrain himself.
May 21, 2025 at 3:55 PM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
WIP Wednesday!

See this lil’ sneak peek of A Daughter’s Mission where Ed and Stede are on their date.
Ed’s face hurt from smiling so much. This was one of the best nights of his life, sincerely, and it was all due to this bizarre little man sitting across from him. Ed was In DangerTM. He was already half in love with Stede, and he was sure that spending the rest of the night in his presence would seal the deal. They had the most delightfully unhinged conversation of Ed’s life. “No, I swear to you,” Ed giggled, “Stop it, I’m serious. No! I’m serious. I swear, I died in another timeline and then like Sliding Doors-ed my way to this universe.” “Ed, you couldn’t possibly know that!” “I do! And I’ll tell you why. One of my professors–their last name was Peterson spelled with a ‘t’ and an ‘o’, then when I showed up to class one day, their name was suddenly spelled Pedersen with a ‘d’ and an ‘e’. Stop laughing! It was documented everywhere as Pedersen with a ‘d’ and an ‘e’ and the day before it had been a ‘t’ and an ‘o’. And no one ever remembered it being spelled the other way.” “Or you could have just not paid attention and it was always spelled with a ‘d’ an ‘e’,” Stede reasoned, giggling into his glass. “How dare you! I have impeccable attention to detail. I guarantee it was spelled with a ‘t’ and an ‘o’ until that fateful day.” “It’s like a smaller scale Mandela Effect.” “Yes! Exactly.”
May 14, 2025 at 2:49 PM
whataccountantsdo.bsky.social
WIP Wednesday!

I’ve been working on a crossover between Our Flag Means Death and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind for the last 6 months. Lately I’ve been struggling with writer’s block on it, but I figured it might help to share a snippet.
April 30, 2025 at 5:33 PM