for the record, i'm mostly just rambling [this isn't me vaguetweeting(?)]. i'm tired of being met with nothing but black-and-white thinking. i'm tired of kneejerk reactions. i'm tired of being misread by angry allistics. it's chaotic.

now this behaviour is flourishing offline and it makes me apprehensive about engaging with others altogether. everyone projects, everyone assumes the worst...

i'm mostly upset that my preferred way of stimming (rocking back and forth) makes heavy use of my abs. 🥲 i feel like i can't even listen to music or i'd be too tempted to do it... 😩

anyway i'm hoping to feel comfortable enough to start using my (3.5 pound) laptop today. i have a furry design to finish up and i may take a whack at making more inane rockman x manga stickers... either way, i need to be occupied or i'll lose my marbles (again).

... and I'm doing good!!! i seem to be healing well so far. i feel good enough to move more but i still gotta be mindful of my abdominal muscles and guts. i have at LEAST five more weeks of recovery... 😩

the funny bit was how they kept handing me bottles of gatorade while i made a bewildered expression, and then i'm like

"i think this is more than 10 pounds, please"

thank you!!! surgery went well, recovery is a little scary but nothing i can't handle. :3c

this is gender-affirming surgery, so it's a pretty big deal for me! but all this nothing two days before the procedure is freaking me the fuck out, y'all. 🤡

the diagnostic testing centers around me have nothing on record, either... hahahahahahahahaha,

Okay! So threading can be rough here! Here's all my "guide" together if you need it (not exhaustive, just the stuff I tell folks to get them started :) )

(with alt text ♥ )

it's jon hamm

i understand needing to set strong boundaries when dealing with mentally unstable friends. i understand being hurt by said individuals and refusing to engage further. trust me, i'm not asking folks to put up with shit they can't handle.

but we deserve empathy. we deserve to have chances to improve.

no matter how hard we work on ourselves, folks will always remember us at our worst. no matter how hard we try to fix things, we're still treated as though we're "acting out" on purpose.

the stigma of BPD persists as long as folks continue to treat us as though we're incapable of being loving, caring, empathetic individuals. many of us work hard to reign in our intense emotions, but if we slip in the slightest we're nigh-immediately shat upon and shamed for it. usually by "friends".

crap, i can't pin posts on here? boooooo