Noah, Cactus Gremlin
@vanillachigchampa.bsky.social
He/They
29
Wisconsin, USA
This is where I shitpost, share memes, talk plants, & butt-chug Monster Energy™ to purify my pineal-gland.
29
Wisconsin, USA
This is where I shitpost, share memes, talk plants, & butt-chug Monster Energy™ to purify my pineal-gland.
cactus spine under my thumbnail REEE
December 6, 2025 at 5:09 AM
cactus spine under my thumbnail REEE
My Lophophora williamsii are mostly thriving!
AGES:
Picture 1 - 17 years old
Picture 2 - 8 years old
Picture 3 - 3 years old plus a mystery cactus of the same age
Picture 4 - 18 months old
AGES:
Picture 1 - 17 years old
Picture 2 - 8 years old
Picture 3 - 3 years old plus a mystery cactus of the same age
Picture 4 - 18 months old
December 6, 2025 at 2:17 AM
My Lophophora williamsii are mostly thriving!
AGES:
Picture 1 - 17 years old
Picture 2 - 8 years old
Picture 3 - 3 years old plus a mystery cactus of the same age
Picture 4 - 18 months old
AGES:
Picture 1 - 17 years old
Picture 2 - 8 years old
Picture 3 - 3 years old plus a mystery cactus of the same age
Picture 4 - 18 months old
I don't use Spotify, so here's my YouTube Music recap
December 5, 2025 at 7:22 PM
I don't use Spotify, so here's my YouTube Music recap
The battery & Vivosun label aren't even on the correct side of the product in the image.
December 5, 2025 at 7:20 PM
The battery & Vivosun label aren't even on the correct side of the product in the image.
On the topic of my Bolivian Torch, the monstrose mutant variety of this species is literally called the "Penis Cactus"
December 5, 2025 at 7:03 PM
On the topic of my Bolivian Torch, the monstrose mutant variety of this species is literally called the "Penis Cactus"
giggle bush got me feeling like this
November 26, 2025 at 7:31 AM
giggle bush got me feeling like this
I saw this man eatin' boogers in Cancún, around February of 2021. He kept mumbling weird things like "dog", "wife" & "snowflake. Not sure what that was about! Anyways, he noticed me staring & approached uncomfortably fast, then handed me this picture of himself.
November 20, 2025 at 6:44 AM
I saw this man eatin' boogers in Cancún, around February of 2021. He kept mumbling weird things like "dog", "wife" & "snowflake. Not sure what that was about! Anyways, he noticed me staring & approached uncomfortably fast, then handed me this picture of himself.
My Queen of the Night cactus (Epiphyllum oxypetalum) is blooming again!
November 19, 2025 at 4:19 AM
My Queen of the Night cactus (Epiphyllum oxypetalum) is blooming again!
My Queen of the Night cactus (Epiphyllum oxypetalum) finally bloomed!
November 2, 2025 at 2:14 AM
My Queen of the Night cactus (Epiphyllum oxypetalum) finally bloomed!
Halo is MAGA now & the music composer is running for congress as a Republican
October 29, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Halo is MAGA now & the music composer is running for congress as a Republican
Do you realize...? Do you realize something? Let me tell you: If the King of England... sees that declaration... that you put on the damn Internet... they could condemn our country, and we would have to move out of it...?
October 26, 2025 at 5:55 PM
Do you realize...? Do you realize something? Let me tell you: If the King of England... sees that declaration... that you put on the damn Internet... they could condemn our country, and we would have to move out of it...?
19th century goofy ahh medical science
October 16, 2025 at 5:47 AM
19th century goofy ahh medical science
smug fucking carpet-shitter
October 15, 2025 at 9:28 PM
smug fucking carpet-shitter
mf in the background was scratching the shit out of the carpet, so I walked into the dark to stop him & assess the damage. I can't see shit with my contacts off. so I reach down to feel the hole in the carpet - NO - it's literally shit.
October 15, 2025 at 5:06 AM
mf in the background was scratching the shit out of the carpet, so I walked into the dark to stop him & assess the damage. I can't see shit with my contacts off. so I reach down to feel the hole in the carpet - NO - it's literally shit.
my cat lost her baby teeth so we're putting this under a pillow 🙏
October 5, 2025 at 12:00 AM
my cat lost her baby teeth so we're putting this under a pillow 🙏
never forget june 2022 & what mexico did to el changuito
see you in valhalla
see you in valhalla
October 4, 2025 at 6:27 AM
never forget june 2022 & what mexico did to el changuito
see you in valhalla
see you in valhalla
i saw a booger trying to flee ted cruz's body while he was speaking but he lapped it up before moaning in ecstasy
October 4, 2025 at 6:15 AM
i saw a booger trying to flee ted cruz's body while he was speaking but he lapped it up before moaning in ecstasy
would you drink a dirty dew?
October 2, 2025 at 5:04 AM
would you drink a dirty dew?
Adenium obesum fruit
September 27, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Adenium obesum fruit
My 17 year old Loph is blooming again! It is covered in dried fruit too.
September 24, 2025 at 7:07 PM
My 17 year old Loph is blooming again! It is covered in dried fruit too.
me when I shitpost at 2am thinking about the cheesecake in my fridge
September 23, 2025 at 10:46 PM
me when I shitpost at 2am thinking about the cheesecake in my fridge
type of shit I'm on, you wouldn't understand
September 21, 2025 at 10:29 PM
type of shit I'm on, you wouldn't understand
found these old, shittily photoshopped images I made back in high school
September 20, 2025 at 6:08 AM
found these old, shittily photoshopped images I made back in high school
Trypanohyncha ocellus remains my favorite character in Alien: Earth. She knows Pi, likes to do a little trolling, & has her eye on Boy Kavalier's socket.
September 18, 2025 at 6:47 AM
Trypanohyncha ocellus remains my favorite character in Alien: Earth. She knows Pi, likes to do a little trolling, & has her eye on Boy Kavalier's socket.
The only comment on this sad Snake Plant post besides my own is someone saying this is a palm tree. I'm losing my fucking mind.
September 16, 2025 at 10:25 PM
The only comment on this sad Snake Plant post besides my own is someone saying this is a palm tree. I'm losing my fucking mind.