@vangoghsbigtoe.bsky.social
I had a stalker once, but then they saw me eat soup 🇨🇦 🇨🇦 🇨🇦 🇨🇦 🇨🇦
I just overheard a guy answer a question with “I don’t know, I was in Budapest”,
so that is totally going to be my “Go to” whenever I don’t have the answer to a question.
#lifehack
so that is totally going to be my “Go to” whenever I don’t have the answer to a question.
#lifehack
December 9, 2025 at 2:41 PM
I just overheard a guy answer a question with “I don’t know, I was in Budapest”,
so that is totally going to be my “Go to” whenever I don’t have the answer to a question.
#lifehack
so that is totally going to be my “Go to” whenever I don’t have the answer to a question.
#lifehack
December 8, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Me, 5 minutes after putting on the movie I’ve been wanting to watch.
December 6, 2025 at 1:54 AM
Me, 5 minutes after putting on the movie I’ve been wanting to watch.
December 5, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Last Christmas, I gave her my heart
But the very next day, she gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give her Mop Slippers
But the very next day, she gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give her Mop Slippers
December 3, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Last Christmas, I gave her my heart
But the very next day, she gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give her Mop Slippers
But the very next day, she gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give her Mop Slippers
I had one job to do and its done ✅
Tree is up
One step closer to Christmas 🎅🏼
JOY!!
Tree is up
One step closer to Christmas 🎅🏼
JOY!!
December 2, 2025 at 1:31 AM
I had one job to do and its done ✅
Tree is up
One step closer to Christmas 🎅🏼
JOY!!
Tree is up
One step closer to Christmas 🎅🏼
JOY!!
Judging by all these reality TV shows, millions of people will do anything to get on TV. I've decided to start casting for my new TV show :
“So You Think You Can Shovel My Driveway, Canada”
“So You Think You Can Shovel My Driveway, Canada”
December 1, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Judging by all these reality TV shows, millions of people will do anything to get on TV. I've decided to start casting for my new TV show :
“So You Think You Can Shovel My Driveway, Canada”
“So You Think You Can Shovel My Driveway, Canada”
Fack!!!
Bad spot to stand when taking this pic
Bad spot to stand when taking this pic
November 26, 2025 at 11:46 AM
Fack!!!
Bad spot to stand when taking this pic
Bad spot to stand when taking this pic
But you’re still coming to work, right?
November 25, 2025 at 10:41 PM
But you’re still coming to work, right?
You too can have that stylish Trump hair, all you need is a 1kg jar of peanut butter. If done properly, you’ll have enough left over for lunch.
November 24, 2025 at 5:54 PM
You too can have that stylish Trump hair, all you need is a 1kg jar of peanut butter. If done properly, you’ll have enough left over for lunch.
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already: Mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
There's vomit on his sweater already: Mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
November 23, 2025 at 5:49 AM
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already: Mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
There's vomit on his sweater already: Mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
*hand touches hot stove*
MY BRAIN: “GET IT OFF NOW NOW!!!”
*mouth eats hot food*
MY BRAIN: “CHEW FASTER. BALANCE IT ON YOUR TEETH, JUGGLE IT WITH YOUR TONGUE. WAVE YOUR HANDS IN FRONT OF YOUR MOUTH, DON'T SPIT IT OUT!! DON’T BE QUITTER !!!”
🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦
MY BRAIN: “GET IT OFF NOW NOW!!!”
*mouth eats hot food*
MY BRAIN: “CHEW FASTER. BALANCE IT ON YOUR TEETH, JUGGLE IT WITH YOUR TONGUE. WAVE YOUR HANDS IN FRONT OF YOUR MOUTH, DON'T SPIT IT OUT!! DON’T BE QUITTER !!!”
🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦
November 23, 2025 at 1:26 AM
*hand touches hot stove*
MY BRAIN: “GET IT OFF NOW NOW!!!”
*mouth eats hot food*
MY BRAIN: “CHEW FASTER. BALANCE IT ON YOUR TEETH, JUGGLE IT WITH YOUR TONGUE. WAVE YOUR HANDS IN FRONT OF YOUR MOUTH, DON'T SPIT IT OUT!! DON’T BE QUITTER !!!”
🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦
MY BRAIN: “GET IT OFF NOW NOW!!!”
*mouth eats hot food*
MY BRAIN: “CHEW FASTER. BALANCE IT ON YOUR TEETH, JUGGLE IT WITH YOUR TONGUE. WAVE YOUR HANDS IN FRONT OF YOUR MOUTH, DON'T SPIT IT OUT!! DON’T BE QUITTER !!!”
🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦
I always feel a little sad for the guy who misses a belt loop on his pants.
November 21, 2025 at 8:32 PM
I always feel a little sad for the guy who misses a belt loop on his pants.
If you blacken out the teeth of Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson, they look like the two happiest Beach Hobos ever!
November 19, 2025 at 8:52 AM
If you blacken out the teeth of Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson, they look like the two happiest Beach Hobos ever!
[guy who invented windshield wipers] - make sure it smudges the part where they have to see.
November 6, 2025 at 2:05 PM
[guy who invented windshield wipers] - make sure it smudges the part where they have to see.
Congratulations America. Looks like democracy still has a heartbeat 💗. Maybe one day soon we can be friends again.
Sincerely, Canada
🇨🇦
Sincerely, Canada
🇨🇦
November 5, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Congratulations America. Looks like democracy still has a heartbeat 💗. Maybe one day soon we can be friends again.
Sincerely, Canada
🇨🇦
Sincerely, Canada
🇨🇦
Art Tidbit:
“We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone”
-Orson Welles
Art by, Andrés Colmenares
“We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone”
-Orson Welles
Art by, Andrés Colmenares
November 3, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Art Tidbit:
“We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone”
-Orson Welles
Art by, Andrés Colmenares
“We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone”
-Orson Welles
Art by, Andrés Colmenares
I’m not quite sure I want an extra hour of 2025
November 3, 2025 at 2:44 AM
I’m not quite sure I want an extra hour of 2025
We hardly had any kids come to the house,, weird !
#halloween
#halloween
October 31, 2025 at 11:28 PM
We hardly had any kids come to the house,, weird !
#halloween
#halloween
Halloween tip: If using the sheet directly from your bed for your ghost costume, avoid parties with blacklights.
October 31, 2025 at 12:52 PM
Halloween tip: If using the sheet directly from your bed for your ghost costume, avoid parties with blacklights.
Blake Snell always looks like he just got pepper sprayed
#WorldSeries
#WorldSeries
October 31, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Blake Snell always looks like he just got pepper sprayed
#WorldSeries
#WorldSeries