There are a lot of beds I'd enjoy lying in, but a thick bed of moss that slowly eats me is up there

It's always okay to gaze upon evil and call it thusly. A rose is a rose, and a repulsive lout is a repulsive lout 🌹

This post sponsored by United Airlines and my lower back

It was all worth it to learn an old guy in the same office always called the super laxative drink "panther piss"

Make that into a plastic spoon so I can get twice as fat at the ice cream parlor OR just regular fat in half the time

🎶 "Oh oh yes... we'll have no bananas..." I once left red "delicious" apples out for my many backyard critters. The apples were avoided like plague buboes and eventually mummified. Maybe they know something we don't

Nice! My family's also relied on Alamy's Hometown Family Photography studio for years and years