Fact: Children (and people in general) perform better when their basic needs are met. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs show that individuals need to address their basic needs before they can focus on higher-level aspirations and growth. Not opinions. Facts.

Yesterday my oldest child had to explain to B’s youngest child that they are not, in fact, biologically related and said youngest child doesn’t have four parents (B, her dad, my husband and I). She still doesn’t believe it.

I love living in the burbs. I wanna be 15 minutes from an Ulta and see cows on my way there.

My mom, horrified: are you crying?!
Me: yes
Her: why what's wrong?!
Me, still crying but also laughing hysterically now: I wanted cheesecake and I forgot to go get it
Her: 😶

You can blow dry your hair while you’re laying down. No one can stop you.

I probably don't even need to say this, BUT. Me not posting about every nightmarish thing is not because I am not internally (or externally!) screaming multiple times per day, i just figure you heard about it from 100 other people posting about each new nightmare. I assure you, my soul is cracking.

Me: the neighbor saw my boob
Husband: which one?
Me: which boob or which neighbor?
H: *shrug* either or.
Me: left boob, backyard neighbor.
H: nice