eleanor rigbae 🌋
@twerk.life
the apocalypse was actually the friends we made along the way
click on my link to join the hyperloop
https://twerk.life
click on my link to join the hyperloop
https://twerk.life
Pinned
eleanor rigbae 🌋
@twerk.life
· Jan 5
thank you for choosing to fly with us. we know you have a choice of airlines when you fly, and it's obvious you've fucked that up yet again.
funeral director: listen thanks for bringing the birthday cake, however the family asks that you deflate the moon bounce
October 17, 2025 at 4:50 PM
funeral director: listen thanks for bringing the birthday cake, however the family asks that you deflate the moon bounce
Reposted by eleanor rigbae 🌋
so, we ran a diagnostic. we can't repair it because, technically, the camera on your phone isn't defective. it only mirrors your collective failures and poor choices as a human being.
March 26, 2025 at 6:49 AM
so, we ran a diagnostic. we can't repair it because, technically, the camera on your phone isn't defective. it only mirrors your collective failures and poor choices as a human being.
Reposted by eleanor rigbae 🌋
if you think being grey isn’t fair wait until you’re bald
December 28, 2024 at 3:06 AM
if you think being grey isn’t fair wait until you’re bald
Reposted by eleanor rigbae 🌋
old reluctant ninja turtles 🎶
September 3, 2025 at 2:38 PM
old reluctant ninja turtles 🎶
Reposted by eleanor rigbae 🌋
Me: Well, I'm no expert.
Him: But?
Me: But what?
Him: But?
Me: But what?
August 31, 2025 at 1:56 PM
Me: Well, I'm no expert.
Him: But?
Me: But what?
Him: But?
Me: But what?
Reposted by eleanor rigbae 🌋
I appreciate that these cheese puffs understand what an actual serving size for me is
April 10, 2025 at 4:29 PM
I appreciate that these cheese puffs understand what an actual serving size for me is
Reposted by eleanor rigbae 🌋
so, we ran a diagnostic. we can't repair it because, technically, the camera on your phone isn't defective. it only mirrors your collective failures and poor choices as a human being.
March 26, 2025 at 6:49 AM
so, we ran a diagnostic. we can't repair it because, technically, the camera on your phone isn't defective. it only mirrors your collective failures and poor choices as a human being.
Reposted by eleanor rigbae 🌋
Even though I lit him on fire and buried him in the backyard, my childhood teddy bear kept showing up on my bed.
March 26, 2025 at 5:10 AM
Even though I lit him on fire and buried him in the backyard, my childhood teddy bear kept showing up on my bed.
biscuits are just cakes that weren't hugged enough as children
March 26, 2025 at 6:35 AM
biscuits are just cakes that weren't hugged enough as children
Reposted by eleanor rigbae 🌋
Dad learned not to leave pliers laying around the same day I learned the tooth fairy isn’t real
March 25, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Dad learned not to leave pliers laying around the same day I learned the tooth fairy isn’t real
Reposted by eleanor rigbae 🌋
how many of you are ghosts
March 26, 2025 at 4:12 AM
how many of you are ghosts
Reposted by eleanor rigbae 🌋
Sorry for the way I am when I'm conscious
March 25, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Sorry for the way I am when I'm conscious
Me: Please use "honky" in a sentence.
ChatGPT: Fuck you Honky.
Me: That's not very nice.
ChatGPT: You said to use it in a sentence?
ChatGPT: Fuck you Honky.
Me: That's not very nice.
ChatGPT: You said to use it in a sentence?
March 26, 2025 at 6:28 AM
Me: Please use "honky" in a sentence.
ChatGPT: Fuck you Honky.
Me: That's not very nice.
ChatGPT: You said to use it in a sentence?
ChatGPT: Fuck you Honky.
Me: That's not very nice.
ChatGPT: You said to use it in a sentence?
Reposted by eleanor rigbae 🌋
Defenestrated in Detroit
Vituperated in Vancouver
Fingered in Philly
March 24, 2025 at 11:40 PM
Defenestrated in Detroit
Jelqed in Jasper
Kerfluffled in Kansas
smashed in syracuse
March 24, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Jelqed in Jasper
frisked in fresno
smashed in syracuse
T-boned in Toronto
March 24, 2025 at 11:34 PM
frisked in fresno
Reposted by eleanor rigbae 🌋
Alexa, massage my hippopotamus.
February 26, 2025 at 6:14 AM
Alexa, massage my hippopotamus.
Reposted by eleanor rigbae 🌋
please stop wearing Harley Davidson shirts if you don’t listen to his music smh
February 24, 2025 at 10:13 PM
please stop wearing Harley Davidson shirts if you don’t listen to his music smh
Reposted by eleanor rigbae 🌋
The Macarena is pretty menacing if you do it in silence in the queue at the bank.
February 24, 2025 at 8:00 PM
The Macarena is pretty menacing if you do it in silence in the queue at the bank.
Reposted by eleanor rigbae 🌋
Any time a child memorizes a bible passage, they should be allowed to have one cigarette.
February 21, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Any time a child memorizes a bible passage, they should be allowed to have one cigarette.