I feel like it's 10x harder to convince people you're taking care of yourself than it is to actually take care of yourself and living in my car has made that feel even more verified

Do people know where I am or what I'm doing? Not really
Am I fine? Yes

It's also nice to not be reminded that my loved ones can't really relate to me and how i see the world and if I'm around them for too long start to build resentment and attribute everything i do to fear, laziness, absentmindedness, mania, and selfishness

It's nice being able to actually utilize the "survival" skills I've built up from childhood in a healthy way instead of feeling ashamed of the fact that I have them at all

This is gonna sound concerning but I swear it's not in a hopeless way
I'm less afraid of the concept of death because I don't feel like I'm wasting a single second of my life anymore. I feel fulfilled and like if I died due to smth out of my control at least I wasn't miserable and rotting

When i get a planet fitness membership one day this is gonna be enhanced even more

I do miss my wife and online friends but I'm hoping maybe the library time idea will also help me catch up on and reply to dms/gcs/emails and I'll be able to give better responses since I'm not responding half asleep, burnt out, and irritated

Once I get my other extra stuff put in storage today I'm gonna start streamlining my "work on the road" plans

This morning I just remembered libraries exist and oggghh a dedicated space to do work with access to books/bathroom/charging sounds perfect

It's so much easier to keep track of being alive when it's all in one little area, visible, simplified, and organized by an insane autistic person

I'm feeling like I did when my SSRIs and vyvanse First started working and I haven't had access to them in a month

Y'all saw how bad I'd get normally when I'd run out of medication for a Week

I'm baffled

Oh and if anything kinda negative happens in my social life it doesn't feel like my entire existence is crumbling because I have so many other things to think about and keep up with so it's easier to brush spats off and keep generally happy

Finally was forced to learn how to harness train her so she can go on hikes with me, I'm visiting my friends and family in different states and they get so excited showing me their hometowns, I feel less reliant on material goods to express myself because I'm limited on the ones I can carry

I'm finally getting around to albums and books (audio version) I've been putting off for years, I've visited all the weird little places I've wanted to go, I'm surrounded by nature, I'm able to take better care of my pigeon because of all of the above and she sees me 24/7 and is so clean and happy..

I'm more aware of my body's needs and signals, I feel rested, I'm excited to talk to people and have lots of opportunities to practice, my social media doomscrolling is limited because I can't scroll and drive and my stops are for maintenance and food and whatnot

My food is right next to me and I'm stopping to hike so my metabolism, exercise, and eating habits are getting better

I'm learning on-the-go "hands on" how to be resourceful, I'm learning car maintenance which ive always wanted to do, easy recipes, frugality, my space is clean--

Amy is officially harness trained and comes along birding with me now

Do people still use blue sky
Do people use anything

Crawling out from the depths to say hello

Thanks man, I'm feeling better now

Don't worry it's not a tik tok algorithm censor I just think I'm funny