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towells.bsky.social
Alex Towells
@towells.bsky.social
780 followers 280 following 630 posts
Soundsman. Arsenal. Asking all the wrong questions on @potshot.bsky.social

he/him
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towells.bsky.social
I made this for the Twitter post, but it's not needed over here as bsky doesn't throttle external links.

HOWEVER, it is (in Seb's words not mine) "sensational", so you can have it anyway.

(Please listen to the pod)
Mikel Arteta's face badly edited onto the Always Sunny In Philadelphia cork board meme
June 13, 2025 at 2:33 PM
towells.bsky.social
Pride is a protest but also BAE systems are here for some reason
York Pride
June 7, 2025 at 12:07 PM
towells.bsky.social
BOSH 🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡
A (half) pint raised to The Boys, Saka & Martinelli & Rice & Jacky FUCKING Kiv
April 16, 2025 at 9:04 PM
towells.bsky.social
10+ corner returns you say?

@setpiecesicko.bsky.social goated

(Full article: open.substack.com/pub/potshotp...)
"The return of Saka and the resurrection of Martinelly has perhaps swayed me towards dreams of 10+ corner returns" - Jake, in his latest article for Pot Shot
April 12, 2025 at 5:31 PM
towells.bsky.social
Hmmmmmmmmmmm
Screenshot from an article. It reads: Data from Premier Injuries shows that, in the Premier League this season, there have been 118 hamstring-related injuries (they represent more than a quarter of all injuries in the division). Of those 118 injuries, 71 of them (60%) have been severe enough to keep the player out of action for a month or more. From the start of the 2019-20 season to the end of the 2022-23 campaign, by contrast, only 40% of hamstring injuries kept a player out for such a long period of time. Graph from Scouted Football showing an increase in both the number of high intensity actions per 90, and in peak sprint velocity, in the Premier League over the past 5 years
April 3, 2025 at 1:33 PM
towells.bsky.social
Tune in to find out what Jake said to make me make this noise:
March 18, 2025 at 1:26 PM
towells.bsky.social
Hehehehehe it's great when I know exactly which of these circles is me
A map of the UK showing where the surname "Towells" is from. Mostly very specifically in the South West area I grew up in. This is not a shock; AFAIK (from another one of these things) there's only about 188 people with my surname in the whole world according to forebears.io
March 13, 2025 at 1:03 PM
towells.bsky.social
Big fan of the "expertise" field
A screenshot of me signing up to the SCOUTED Football website scoutedftbl.com, where I list my expertise as "Bloke at Pot Shot"
February 17, 2025 at 6:19 PM
towells.bsky.social
@alexcollings.bsky.social sees the vision
Alex saying Jobe Bellingham will be our next left 8 to become a striker
February 15, 2025 at 2:25 PM
towells.bsky.social
Arsenal XI v Leicester LEAKED 🔥🔥🔥
An XI of mostly Arsenal defenders. GK: Raya RB: White CB: Gabriel, Saliba LB: Kiwior DM: Rice CM: Myles Lewis-Skelly, Calafiori LW: Tierney RW: Zinchenko ST: Timber
February 12, 2025 at 6:23 PM
towells.bsky.social
I made this version but bluesky posted the old one for some reason
February 5, 2025 at 9:09 PM
towells.bsky.social
Just walk out! You can leave! Work, social thing, movies, home, class, dentist, clothes shopping, too fancy weed store, cops if you're quick, getting smoked by Geordies If it sucks, hit da bricks! Real winners quit
February 5, 2025 at 8:57 PM
towells.bsky.social
Everyone: hey did Musk just do a fucking nazi salute on stage at Trump's inauguration

The BBC: What nazi salute? I didn't see no nazi salute. Just an enthusiastic guy :D
From the BBC News app's live reporting on Trump's inauguration: "Our eyes now turn to the Capital One Arena in downtown Washington, DC, where President Donald Trump will travel to shortly to greet his supporters at a parade in the stadium. The place has gone wild for Elon Musk and Kash Patel, who are already at the arena, with the crowd applauding every time they are shown on screen. First to speak on stage is an animated Elon Musk, who says Trump's win is "no ordinary victory, this was a fork in the road of human civilisation" - adding "this one really mattered". He thanks supporters for "making it happen", saying the "future of civilisation is assured". He says now there will be safe cities, secure borders, sensible spending, "and we're gonna take Doge to Mars." Kash Patel, Trump's pick for FBI director, is next up. He says: "We are at a crossroads here in America, but our future is bright"."
January 20, 2025 at 8:47 PM
towells.bsky.social
A sign that says "customer notice: we are currently out of stock of fans"
January 14, 2025 at 10:31 AM
towells.bsky.social
A solid 45 minutes
A screenshot of Football manager 2024 showing my team, Bradford City, scoring 4 goals from 4 shots
January 4, 2025 at 11:44 PM
towells.bsky.social
I am the smartest arsenal analyst
Me saying "don't need attacking subs when we're going 1-0 up and coasting" before the Arsenal game, in which they went 1-0 up and coasted
December 27, 2024 at 10:08 PM
towells.bsky.social
@setpiecesicko.bsky.social when anyone asks him to be on a podcast
I have edited this screenshot of the guardian cartoon, which shows Nicholas Jover answering the phone to Dua Lipa saying "this had better be about near-post runs", to say "this better not be about near-post runs"
December 17, 2024 at 5:04 PM
towells.bsky.social
Saka & Kai carrying so incredibly hard, I meant to make some changes before the games but I forgot on Friday lmao
December 1, 2024 at 1:52 PM
towells.bsky.social
The idea for the article can be traced back to this tweet by Adam, which sparked some discourse a couple of weeks ago (I'm fashionably late).

Martinelli's 22/23 & 23/24 underlying numbers being so similar threw me for a loop. Here's how I squared that circle in the piece:
bsky.app/profile/adam...
A screenshot from my article on Martinelli, which is linked in the tweet this is a reply to. Another screenshot from my article on Martinelli, which is linked in the tweet this is a reply to.
November 30, 2024 at 2:02 PM
towells.bsky.social
I'm so fucking smart (article out... soon)
A screenshot of an article in progress that says this: Those high-value shots are where the money is. If Martinelli is to stay in the team, the aim should be to get him the ball in those areas more often - oh? What’s this? [Screenshot of Understat showing martinelli scoring 2 goals from 2 6 yard box shots in 24/25 so far] Two shots & two goals from inside the 6 yard box already this season?
November 26, 2024 at 8:14 PM
towells.bsky.social
It is time to pay our respects to @eulenberg.bsky.social. rest in peace brother
Seb predicts an sterling -> nwaneri goal about 2 seconds before it happens
November 23, 2024 at 4:49 PM
towells.bsky.social
Nope - unless I'm looking in the wrong place
Screenshot of Ewa's profile
November 21, 2024 at 1:09 PM
towells.bsky.social
You: man this sucks. Why did I stay up so late to watch this

Me:
November 16, 2024 at 8:21 AM
towells.bsky.social
I'm just gonna enjoy this fleeting moment where I have more followers than you. Will never happen again
November 14, 2024 at 11:21 PM
towells.bsky.social
I might not be able to claim casual any more but at least I also can't make memes good 👍
The dunning kruger graph
November 14, 2024 at 9:57 PM