@toddparkman.bsky.social
I hope to arrive at my death late, in love, and a little drunk.
I hit my sister tonight with my theory that one of our Uncle’s was a member of the Dixie Mafia. And she was like, “Why?” And then I laid it all out for her, and she said, “Oh my God. Yes. I remember all of that.”
August 11, 2025 at 3:42 AM
I hit my sister tonight with my theory that one of our Uncle’s was a member of the Dixie Mafia. And she was like, “Why?” And then I laid it all out for her, and she said, “Oh my God. Yes. I remember all of that.”
I had an uncle who was a farmer. And the only dogs he ever owned were Blue Heelers. I have a love/ hate relationship with those dogs. And I met a girl tonight who had her Blue Heeler with her. And her Heeler was the sweetest fucking thing ever. I think I’m in love with both of them.
August 11, 2025 at 2:55 AM
I had an uncle who was a farmer. And the only dogs he ever owned were Blue Heelers. I have a love/ hate relationship with those dogs. And I met a girl tonight who had her Blue Heeler with her. And her Heeler was the sweetest fucking thing ever. I think I’m in love with both of them.
You know that theory of how a dig will take on the personality of its owner? Well, over the last several months, when I take the dog out, he doesn’t even care about grass anymore. He’ll just shit right in the middle of the street. And now I believe that theory.
August 7, 2025 at 3:14 AM
You know that theory of how a dig will take on the personality of its owner? Well, over the last several months, when I take the dog out, he doesn’t even care about grass anymore. He’ll just shit right in the middle of the street. And now I believe that theory.
I honestly don’t know why Trump won’t just come out and say that he was diddling underage girls. I’m convinced that most of his base will not care and they’ll find a way to justify it.
August 3, 2025 at 2:44 AM
I honestly don’t know why Trump won’t just come out and say that he was diddling underage girls. I’m convinced that most of his base will not care and they’ll find a way to justify it.
My youngest nephew has always been somewhat of a “challenge.” He turned 21 today. And this was the text convo with my sister tonight.
July 26, 2025 at 3:38 AM
My youngest nephew has always been somewhat of a “challenge.” He turned 21 today. And this was the text convo with my sister tonight.
I’ll admit that my algorithm on Spotify is all over the place, but I’m still not sure how Mitski ended up there, or how I wasn’t aware of her prior to that. And you’re probably thinking, “Aren’t you a Derek Trucks, WSP, Phish kind of dude?” Yes. But, you can’t pigeonhole me.
July 25, 2025 at 3:24 AM
I’ll admit that my algorithm on Spotify is all over the place, but I’m still not sure how Mitski ended up there, or how I wasn’t aware of her prior to that. And you’re probably thinking, “Aren’t you a Derek Trucks, WSP, Phish kind of dude?” Yes. But, you can’t pigeonhole me.
Everybody get to whatever apparatus you listen to stuff on. Highway 61 is doing Albert King tonight.
July 20, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Everybody get to whatever apparatus you listen to stuff on. Highway 61 is doing Albert King tonight.
I’m super baked, and thinking about watching Smokey and the Bandit for like the 300th time.
July 20, 2025 at 2:03 AM
I’m super baked, and thinking about watching Smokey and the Bandit for like the 300th time.
My “newish” manager came to me last week and said, “We’re gonna need y’all to help out the call center. They’ve gotten behind.” My response, as a 23 year vet of that agency said, “Yeah. I’m not gonna do that.” It’s pretty wild how sometimes they’ll just walk away and let that go.
July 15, 2025 at 11:20 PM
My “newish” manager came to me last week and said, “We’re gonna need y’all to help out the call center. They’ve gotten behind.” My response, as a 23 year vet of that agency said, “Yeah. I’m not gonna do that.” It’s pretty wild how sometimes they’ll just walk away and let that go.
Unless you’re on a boat, where there’s a legit chance you might lose your cap, there’s no other reason for you to wear that cap backwards. I said what I said.
May 9, 2025 at 2:51 AM
Unless you’re on a boat, where there’s a legit chance you might lose your cap, there’s no other reason for you to wear that cap backwards. I said what I said.
I was looking for something specific in Notes on my phone tonight that I thought I might have put in there some years ago. Have y’all ever gone through years of Notes on your phone? I am not ok.
April 13, 2025 at 1:25 AM
I was looking for something specific in Notes on my phone tonight that I thought I might have put in there some years ago. Have y’all ever gone through years of Notes on your phone? I am not ok.
Both of my grandfathers were, shall we say, uncommitted to religion. In MS. My paternal grandmother was a non practicing Lutheran. My maternal grandmother was a fire spitting Southern Baptist. This is my story…….
March 13, 2025 at 4:15 AM
Both of my grandfathers were, shall we say, uncommitted to religion. In MS. My paternal grandmother was a non practicing Lutheran. My maternal grandmother was a fire spitting Southern Baptist. This is my story…….
When you’re playing pub trivia and Molly says, “I know this song!” And I say, “Well, what is it?” And she says, “I DON’T KNOW, TODD. THAT’S WHAT WEED DOES TO YOUR BRAIN!!!”
March 13, 2025 at 3:26 AM
When you’re playing pub trivia and Molly says, “I know this song!” And I say, “Well, what is it?” And she says, “I DON’T KNOW, TODD. THAT’S WHAT WEED DOES TO YOUR BRAIN!!!”
We’re not all assholes, ladies.
January 31, 2025 at 4:57 AM
We’re not all assholes, ladies.
A lady friend of mine wants me to make my red beans for her and some of her friends for their Mardi Gras party. She said, “Yours are the best I’ve ever eaten.” Now, she’s not wrong, but she lived in Shreveport a long time. So, her bar is pretty low.
January 23, 2025 at 12:55 AM
A lady friend of mine wants me to make my red beans for her and some of her friends for their Mardi Gras party. She said, “Yours are the best I’ve ever eaten.” Now, she’s not wrong, but she lived in Shreveport a long time. So, her bar is pretty low.
I have come to the realization that the women I’m trying to date have no idea who The Knack is, much less the banger that is My Sharona.
January 19, 2025 at 6:47 AM
I have come to the realization that the women I’m trying to date have no idea who The Knack is, much less the banger that is My Sharona.
I’ll die on this hill.
January 18, 2025 at 5:16 AM
I’ll die on this hill.
Have y’all ever forgotten that you took an edible?
January 12, 2025 at 6:16 AM
Have y’all ever forgotten that you took an edible?
I was evacuated from a wedding reception tonight because of a tornado warning. On December 28th. Mississippi isn’t a real place.
December 29, 2024 at 4:20 AM
I was evacuated from a wedding reception tonight because of a tornado warning. On December 28th. Mississippi isn’t a real place.
This is mostly for @pearlriverflow.com It’s from Ronnie’s in Hammond and it is fantastic.
December 18, 2024 at 4:39 AM
This is mostly for @pearlriverflow.com It’s from Ronnie’s in Hammond and it is fantastic.
Got a text from a friend tonight telling me he bought a Rivian, mostly as a fuck you to Elon.
December 13, 2024 at 3:30 AM
Got a text from a friend tonight telling me he bought a Rivian, mostly as a fuck you to Elon.
Giving blood this afternoon, immediately smashing 4 PBR tallboys, smoking a bowl, and then removing a feral cat from inside a friend’s house isn’t the most redneck thing I’ve ever been a part of, but it’s in the neighborhood.
December 11, 2024 at 5:07 AM
Giving blood this afternoon, immediately smashing 4 PBR tallboys, smoking a bowl, and then removing a feral cat from inside a friend’s house isn’t the most redneck thing I’ve ever been a part of, but it’s in the neighborhood.
Instead of watching news, local or national, may I suggest that you just slam PBR tallboys and listen to Big Bend by Greyhounds, on a loop, because that’s what I’m doing. Maybe toss in some Professor Longhair. Never hurts.
December 7, 2024 at 6:33 AM
Instead of watching news, local or national, may I suggest that you just slam PBR tallboys and listen to Big Bend by Greyhounds, on a loop, because that’s what I’m doing. Maybe toss in some Professor Longhair. Never hurts.
Seeing a lot of people saying this guy was a professional. If he was a professional, he would have had a Ruger SR 22 with CB caps. Now, get off my lawn.
December 7, 2024 at 5:33 AM
Seeing a lot of people saying this guy was a professional. If he was a professional, he would have had a Ruger SR 22 with CB caps. Now, get off my lawn.
One play, from the 1 yard line. And you go from the shotgun. Make it make sense.
November 30, 2024 at 5:02 AM
One play, from the 1 yard line. And you go from the shotgun. Make it make sense.