Jonathan Edward Durham
@thisone0verhere.bsky.social
Writer. Reader. Sometimes funny. Generalized anxiety Wunderkind. Author of “Winterset Hollow.” https://jonathanedwarddurham.substack.com
http://Patreon.com/jonathanedwarddurham
https://jonathanedwarddurham.com
http://Patreon.com/jonathanedwarddurham
https://jonathanedwarddurham.com
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Hey folks! Do you hate the Sunday scaries but love and/or tolerate my humor? Well you’re in luck, because I’m writing a weekly humor column! (screaming crying throwing up etc) It’s called “Know Worries” and the first issue is up now on my substack and Patreon! And it’s free! Links below and in bio!
Wanted everyone to see this 🤷♂️
November 14, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Wanted everyone to see this 🤷♂️
This goes for pretty much every creature except cops to be fair
November 14, 2025 at 12:38 AM
This goes for pretty much every creature except cops to be fair
omg I can’t believe I used to wear my teeth like that
November 13, 2025 at 6:28 PM
omg I can’t believe I used to wear my teeth like that
Sometimes you have to take the day one “actually a tomato is a fruit” at a time
November 13, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Sometimes you have to take the day one “actually a tomato is a fruit” at a time
I’ve decided I must have this, but as it’s sure to be over $1000 my friend and I have decided to split the cost and just ship it back and forth across state lines, each of us adding one piece at a time until it’s finished and this is obviously a perfect plan
November 13, 2025 at 5:54 PM
I’ve decided I must have this, but as it’s sure to be over $1000 my friend and I have decided to split the cost and just ship it back and forth across state lines, each of us adding one piece at a time until it’s finished and this is obviously a perfect plan
November: hey what if 2025 was still the same amount or awful but also way way colder and dark?
Everyone:
Everyone:
November 13, 2025 at 4:20 PM
November: hey what if 2025 was still the same amount or awful but also way way colder and dark?
Everyone:
Everyone:
before coffee: tired
after coffee: nervous and tired
after coffee: nervous and tired
November 13, 2025 at 4:06 PM
before coffee: tired
after coffee: nervous and tired
after coffee: nervous and tired
The best Thanksgiving movies are:
1) every Thanksgiving episode of Bob’s Burgers
2) Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
1) every Thanksgiving episode of Bob’s Burgers
2) Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
November 13, 2025 at 3:54 PM
The best Thanksgiving movies are:
1) every Thanksgiving episode of Bob’s Burgers
2) Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
1) every Thanksgiving episode of Bob’s Burgers
2) Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
HUSBAND: I got flipped off while driving today
ME: like from the passenger seat?
HUSBAND: …
ME: like from the passenger seat?
HUSBAND: …
November 13, 2025 at 3:40 PM
HUSBAND: I got flipped off while driving today
ME: like from the passenger seat?
HUSBAND: …
ME: like from the passenger seat?
HUSBAND: …
I’m sorry for the things I said when the wrong lights were on
November 13, 2025 at 3:20 PM
I’m sorry for the things I said when the wrong lights were on
Just a reminder for anyone out there doing any early shopping for me… I do not want ANY birds (yes again) for Christmas this year. I don't care if you can get 2 turtle doves for the price of 1 or if there's a 4AM door-buster deal on French hens. Zero birds. None birds
November 13, 2025 at 3:13 PM
Just a reminder for anyone out there doing any early shopping for me… I do not want ANY birds (yes again) for Christmas this year. I don't care if you can get 2 turtle doves for the price of 1 or if there's a 4AM door-buster deal on French hens. Zero birds. None birds
This is the kind of year where you ask everyone to bring mashed potatoes to Thanksgiving dinner
November 13, 2025 at 3:06 PM
This is the kind of year where you ask everyone to bring mashed potatoes to Thanksgiving dinner
I just spent like 7 minutes SURE that my autocorrect was being dumb because it didn’t recognize the word “messenging” as in “I’ve been messenging him for a while now”
November 13, 2025 at 1:03 AM
I just spent like 7 minutes SURE that my autocorrect was being dumb because it didn’t recognize the word “messenging” as in “I’ve been messenging him for a while now”
Scrolling through your feed on Venmo is WILD
November 12, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Scrolling through your feed on Venmo is WILD
Feels like the annual White House turkey pardon’s gonna be a little less whimsical this year
November 12, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Feels like the annual White House turkey pardon’s gonna be a little less whimsical this year
When someone’s like “these are the best years of your life” and you’re just like whoa whoa lets take that language down a notch
November 12, 2025 at 5:00 PM
When someone’s like “these are the best years of your life” and you’re just like whoa whoa lets take that language down a notch
I will put my earbuds in, go to the gym, workout in complete silence, get home and feel something weird in my ear and be like oh
November 12, 2025 at 4:57 PM
I will put my earbuds in, go to the gym, workout in complete silence, get home and feel something weird in my ear and be like oh
Remember calories don’t count if you’re eating it over the sink and crying
November 12, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Remember calories don’t count if you’re eating it over the sink and crying
He's making a list. He's checking it twice. He's throwing it away because he's sure he's retained it all this time. Wait, Now he's rifling through the trash because he just needs to double check real quick. Deep breath. Okay he’s fine now. He’s got it. Wait, now he's back at the trash can again and…
November 12, 2025 at 4:13 PM
He's making a list. He's checking it twice. He's throwing it away because he's sure he's retained it all this time. Wait, Now he's rifling through the trash because he just needs to double check real quick. Deep breath. Okay he’s fine now. He’s got it. Wait, now he's back at the trash can again and…
I’m literally so laid back when I’m asleep but not dreaming
November 12, 2025 at 4:01 PM
I’m literally so laid back when I’m asleep but not dreaming
A 3:00 nap is both the best and worst thing you can do for yourself
November 12, 2025 at 3:20 PM
A 3:00 nap is both the best and worst thing you can do for yourself
Babe are you okay you’ve barely muttered anything into your coffee this morning
November 12, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Babe are you okay you’ve barely muttered anything into your coffee this morning
Hey could really use some of that good ole “red wine and chocolate actually have huge health benefits” type news in the cycle again please. Some of that “cheese has way more protein per serving than you think” energy
November 12, 2025 at 3:09 PM
Hey could really use some of that good ole “red wine and chocolate actually have huge health benefits” type news in the cycle again please. Some of that “cheese has way more protein per serving than you think” energy
It’s giving raining toads
November 12, 2025 at 2:58 PM
It’s giving raining toads