Matthew Appleton
@thetalkingmoose.net
Neurosparkly, geeky, non-normative cis hetero husband, dad, and domesticated weirdo/misanthropic secular humanist. Also fanatical about music, MST3K, Star Trek, SF&F lit, Lego, and the Phillies.
Stating for the public record that after arriving in NYC earlier this week, I pledged my allegiance to our future pigeon overlords. I know they will rule with far more intelligence, common sense, & decency than the political party which currently controls all the branches of the federal government.
November 20, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Stating for the public record that after arriving in NYC earlier this week, I pledged my allegiance to our future pigeon overlords. I know they will rule with far more intelligence, common sense, & decency than the political party which currently controls all the branches of the federal government.
Does this count as detailing? Asking for a friend.
October 17, 2025 at 11:46 AM
Does this count as detailing? Asking for a friend.
Saw this in the checkout at lunchtime today and nearly giggled my ass off. This cis white hetero male is so clearly not the target audience for this publication. Never had been in the past, and certainly never will be in the future. 😂
October 16, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Saw this in the checkout at lunchtime today and nearly giggled my ass off. This cis white hetero male is so clearly not the target audience for this publication. Never had been in the past, and certainly never will be in the future. 😂
I think it was pretty cool of Lego to release a J. K. Rowling minifigure last month so you can add it to your villains of Harry Potter collection.
October 14, 2025 at 7:42 PM
I think it was pretty cool of Lego to release a J. K. Rowling minifigure last month so you can add it to your villains of Harry Potter collection.
Alas, my wife and I never previously met each other until 16 years ago. All our prior lifetimes were spent banking the karmic balance necessary for us to finally be together.
So totally fucking worth it.
So totally fucking worth it.
October 7, 2025 at 2:51 AM
Alas, my wife and I never previously met each other until 16 years ago. All our prior lifetimes were spent banking the karmic balance necessary for us to finally be together.
So totally fucking worth it.
So totally fucking worth it.
Just wanted to add this this is my day-to-day style. I didn’t dress in that manner simply for the Ren Faire. I literally own 18 different kilts and denim jackets that I mix and match to fit my whims for the day.
September 22, 2025 at 2:06 AM
Just wanted to add this this is my day-to-day style. I didn’t dress in that manner simply for the Ren Faire. I literally own 18 different kilts and denim jackets that I mix and match to fit my whims for the day.
I’m as cis hetero male as they come, but I call myself “non-normative” because I despise how American culture dictates how a man like me should present himself to the world. Got to fly my freak flag at the MD Ren Faire today, and being utterly myself and somehow also fly under the radar was awesome.
September 22, 2025 at 1:52 AM
I’m as cis hetero male as they come, but I call myself “non-normative” because I despise how American culture dictates how a man like me should present himself to the world. Got to fly my freak flag at the MD Ren Faire today, and being utterly myself and somehow also fly under the radar was awesome.
Decided my mini Lego creation from Der Katzengropenfuhrer’s first term in office needed resharing today.
September 18, 2025 at 2:23 PM
Decided my mini Lego creation from Der Katzengropenfuhrer’s first term in office needed resharing today.
Got my bloodwork done this morning, which means the rest of today is officially Cheat Day!
September 12, 2025 at 4:57 PM
Got my bloodwork done this morning, which means the rest of today is officially Cheat Day!
The horrific toxic masculinity I grew up with, and that society shoved down my throat, even though my parents didn’t.
September 1, 2025 at 12:17 AM
The horrific toxic masculinity I grew up with, and that society shoved down my throat, even though my parents didn’t.
Had this caricature done during the spring of ‘90, after a recent bout of right-wing pearl-clutching over flag burning.
Yes, the Supreme Court ruled in ‘89 that it was Constitutionally-protected free speech. No amount of Trump verbal diarrhea at a press conference or a signed E.O. changes that.
Yes, the Supreme Court ruled in ‘89 that it was Constitutionally-protected free speech. No amount of Trump verbal diarrhea at a press conference or a signed E.O. changes that.
August 25, 2025 at 4:35 PM
Had this caricature done during the spring of ‘90, after a recent bout of right-wing pearl-clutching over flag burning.
Yes, the Supreme Court ruled in ‘89 that it was Constitutionally-protected free speech. No amount of Trump verbal diarrhea at a press conference or a signed E.O. changes that.
Yes, the Supreme Court ruled in ‘89 that it was Constitutionally-protected free speech. No amount of Trump verbal diarrhea at a press conference or a signed E.O. changes that.
Same lighting from a different angel.
August 25, 2025 at 2:13 AM
Same lighting from a different angel.
Just a reminder that at this point in American history it’s a moral imperative to find and embrace your joy wherever you can.
August 25, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Just a reminder that at this point in American history it’s a moral imperative to find and embrace your joy wherever you can.
Yes, I’m one of those car owners.
August 16, 2025 at 11:02 AM
Yes, I’m one of those car owners.
The day you’re describing is one of the reasons why my wife and I had this custom sign made and put it in our living room.
August 8, 2025 at 3:07 PM
The day you’re describing is one of the reasons why my wife and I had this custom sign made and put it in our living room.
Had a lot of fun at the “Weird Al” show at Wolf Trap last night, but I’m starting to suspect I’m getting a little too old to be staying past 11:00 on a work night to attend concerts.
(At least, I need to consider taking a a few hours PTO the morning after so I can recover sufficient before work.)
(At least, I need to consider taking a a few hours PTO the morning after so I can recover sufficient before work.)
July 23, 2025 at 12:13 PM
Had a lot of fun at the “Weird Al” show at Wolf Trap last night, but I’m starting to suspect I’m getting a little too old to be staying past 11:00 on a work night to attend concerts.
(At least, I need to consider taking a a few hours PTO the morning after so I can recover sufficient before work.)
(At least, I need to consider taking a a few hours PTO the morning after so I can recover sufficient before work.)
If we have to wake up every morning and acknowledge the face-eating monsters roaming the landscape of this world, could we at least get a few adorable ones in the mix?
July 3, 2025 at 10:49 AM
If we have to wake up every morning and acknowledge the face-eating monsters roaming the landscape of this world, could we at least get a few adorable ones in the mix?
“Were the directors of this groove ship, and you are under our command…
“Get up and jam y’all”
“Get up and jam y’all”
June 28, 2025 at 2:40 AM
“Were the directors of this groove ship, and you are under our command…
“Get up and jam y’all”
“Get up and jam y’all”
Where I live in Loudoun County, VA, it’s not unusual to see a Swastikar while you’re out and about. Hell, *two* people within a couple hundred yards of my home own one.
Each time I see them, I feel like the Matrix is glitching and cannot fully render the image.
Each time I see them, I feel like the Matrix is glitching and cannot fully render the image.
June 27, 2025 at 4:40 PM
Where I live in Loudoun County, VA, it’s not unusual to see a Swastikar while you’re out and about. Hell, *two* people within a couple hundred yards of my home own one.
Each time I see them, I feel like the Matrix is glitching and cannot fully render the image.
Each time I see them, I feel like the Matrix is glitching and cannot fully render the image.
While we were on a overnight getaway this past weekend, my wife took another photo that reminds me just how much happier I am with the way I look and present myself to the world now than at any time preceding the pandemic.
Fuck modesty, I think I look awesome.
Fuck modesty, I think I look awesome.
June 25, 2025 at 2:16 PM
While we were on a overnight getaway this past weekend, my wife took another photo that reminds me just how much happier I am with the way I look and present myself to the world now than at any time preceding the pandemic.
Fuck modesty, I think I look awesome.
Fuck modesty, I think I look awesome.
It’s Friday night, the night you tell Caution to go to the corner, stare into the abyss until it’s told it can leave, and to seriously contemplate all the things it has prevented good-hearted, fun-loving people from doing.
June 7, 2025 at 2:02 AM
It’s Friday night, the night you tell Caution to go to the corner, stare into the abyss until it’s told it can leave, and to seriously contemplate all the things it has prevented good-hearted, fun-loving people from doing.
June 1, 2025 at 9:56 PM
After a rough start this morning, including delays, we’ve made it to NYC finally. This domesticated weirdo always feels welcome in the land of feral weirdos.
May 13, 2025 at 5:07 PM
After a rough start this morning, including delays, we’ve made it to NYC finally. This domesticated weirdo always feels welcome in the land of feral weirdos.
From this past weekend. Sparkly shoes, trans pride kilt, resistance jacket… Felt cute, did rage smash things later.
May 12, 2025 at 6:05 PM
From this past weekend. Sparkly shoes, trans pride kilt, resistance jacket… Felt cute, did rage smash things later.