Christopher Nicolas
@thechrisnicolas.bsky.social
Mixed (Black/White) comedy writer. Karaoke Artist. Also a fan of anime. Previous: Support Staff for Starz, The CW, HBO and Paramount+.
Pinned
Current daily montra:
Everything's going to be fine.
If not, you had a good run.
Everything's going to be fine.
If not, you had a good run.
November 11, 2025 at 4:58 AM
Current daily montra:
Everything's going to be fine.
If not, you had a good run.
Everything's going to be fine.
If not, you had a good run.
Nothing annoys me more than when I'm out shopping somewhere and someone asks me if I work there. Like I get it. I have resting retail employee face, but stop talking to me
November 10, 2025 at 1:27 AM
Nothing annoys me more than when I'm out shopping somewhere and someone asks me if I work there. Like I get it. I have resting retail employee face, but stop talking to me
Why was the cow nervous for their final grade?
There was a lot at Steak.
There was a lot at Steak.
October 21, 2025 at 9:25 AM
Why was the cow nervous for their final grade?
There was a lot at Steak.
There was a lot at Steak.
A goat in a coat with a tote eating oats on a boat that floats in a moat passed a note with a quote that it wrote. Vote.
September 25, 2025 at 11:07 PM
A goat in a coat with a tote eating oats on a boat that floats in a moat passed a note with a quote that it wrote. Vote.
This is the first of what will be a weekly newsletter about karaoke as I go through my weekly spots! Hopefully it can outline why I love karaoke the way I do!
open.substack.com/pub/thechris...
open.substack.com/pub/thechris...
The Karaoke Scene Report
Karaoke Log: Week of September 8th, 2025
open.substack.com
September 17, 2025 at 7:18 AM
This is the first of what will be a weekly newsletter about karaoke as I go through my weekly spots! Hopefully it can outline why I love karaoke the way I do!
open.substack.com/pub/thechris...
open.substack.com/pub/thechris...
What do you call a marshmallow that helps deliver babies?
Doula Peep.
Doula Peep.
September 9, 2025 at 3:07 AM
What do you call a marshmallow that helps deliver babies?
Doula Peep.
Doula Peep.
What do you call fake baked goods on a film set?
Prop-tarts.
Prop-tarts.
September 7, 2025 at 9:26 AM
What do you call fake baked goods on a film set?
Prop-tarts.
Prop-tarts.
What do you call a book about cats and ancient Japanese magic?
ねこnomicon.
(Neko-nomicon)
ねこnomicon.
(Neko-nomicon)
September 1, 2025 at 1:17 AM
What do you call a book about cats and ancient Japanese magic?
ねこnomicon.
(Neko-nomicon)
ねこnomicon.
(Neko-nomicon)
Where do outcasts get their poultry?
In Eggs-isle.
In Eggs-isle.
August 29, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Where do outcasts get their poultry?
In Eggs-isle.
In Eggs-isle.
What do you call it when you're sad in the Bahamas?
A tropical depression.
A tropical depression.
August 29, 2025 at 5:05 PM
What do you call it when you're sad in the Bahamas?
A tropical depression.
A tropical depression.
What does an indecisive genie use to clean his clothes?
A wishy-washing machine.
A wishy-washing machine.
August 29, 2025 at 5:04 PM
What does an indecisive genie use to clean his clothes?
A wishy-washing machine.
A wishy-washing machine.
What kind of surf does the sun like to ride?
The heat waves.
The heat waves.
August 14, 2025 at 11:16 PM
What kind of surf does the sun like to ride?
The heat waves.
The heat waves.
What is Sisyphus’s least favorite kind of drink at a bar?
Anything on the rocks.
Anything on the rocks.
August 14, 2025 at 11:15 PM
What is Sisyphus’s least favorite kind of drink at a bar?
Anything on the rocks.
Anything on the rocks.
Repetition is the key to learning
July 29, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Repetition is the key to learning
What's a pig's favorite musical?
Ham-ilton.
Ham-ilton.
July 14, 2025 at 3:53 AM
What's a pig's favorite musical?
Ham-ilton.
Ham-ilton.
What do you call a mattress that's been bitten by a zombie?
The walking bed.
The walking bed.
July 14, 2025 at 3:50 AM
What do you call a mattress that's been bitten by a zombie?
The walking bed.
The walking bed.
Interviewer: In a few words, describe yourself?
Me:
Me:
July 1, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Interviewer: In a few words, describe yourself?
Me:
Me:
For the month of July, I've decided to try and write my first feature. Here's to a productive month!
July 1, 2025 at 8:15 PM
For the month of July, I've decided to try and write my first feature. Here's to a productive month!
What do you do when they stop carrying your favorite brand of shampoo and conditioner?
You make a sudstitution.
You make a sudstitution.
June 28, 2025 at 6:59 PM
What do you do when they stop carrying your favorite brand of shampoo and conditioner?
You make a sudstitution.
You make a sudstitution.
What do you call a tasty bear in Spanish?
Delici-Oso.
Delici-Oso.
June 28, 2025 at 6:58 PM
What do you call a tasty bear in Spanish?
Delici-Oso.
Delici-Oso.
Near, far, wherever Jafarrr!
June 13, 2025 at 9:31 AM
Near, far, wherever Jafarrr!
A few thoughts on today
June 9, 2025 at 12:27 AM
A few thoughts on today
LA literally said, Surprise rain! ☔🌧️
June 3, 2025 at 10:27 PM
LA literally said, Surprise rain! ☔🌧️
You know what'd be really cool, if they released the Batgirl movie.
May 15, 2025 at 3:16 AM
You know what'd be really cool, if they released the Batgirl movie.
How do sandwiches get to work?
The Sub-way.
The Sub-way.
May 9, 2025 at 8:51 PM
How do sandwiches get to work?
The Sub-way.
The Sub-way.