Rover Jackson
@thebaseballdog.bsky.social
Parody Account not affliated with 90% studios.
(final parody acc by the creator of both @patheticmagic.bsky.social and @afelineoratiger.bsky.social!)
(final parody acc by the creator of both @patheticmagic.bsky.social and @afelineoratiger.bsky.social!)
// hes so stupid I hate him
May 22, 2025 at 1:16 PM
// hes so stupid I hate him
NOOOOOOO! WHAT?! WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?!
May 20, 2025 at 1:23 PM
NOOOOOOO! WHAT?! WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?!
Yeah! I mean, dogs are like the coolest people ever...
[Rover looks at his paws, then at his tail, tugging on his ear a little.]
... I'd probably hold the same opinion if I WASN'T a dog!
[Rover looks at his paws, then at his tail, tugging on his ear a little.]
... I'd probably hold the same opinion if I WASN'T a dog!
May 11, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Yeah! I mean, dogs are like the coolest people ever...
[Rover looks at his paws, then at his tail, tugging on his ear a little.]
... I'd probably hold the same opinion if I WASN'T a dog!
[Rover looks at his paws, then at his tail, tugging on his ear a little.]
... I'd probably hold the same opinion if I WASN'T a dog!
[Rover is AGAIN seen with his mouth dripping blood; all over the table he was seen sitting on.]
Being sick makes me feel like my whole world is falling apart...
[He slowly gets up, putting his paw on his mouth.]
I don't feel too well...
Being sick makes me feel like my whole world is falling apart...
[He slowly gets up, putting his paw on his mouth.]
I don't feel too well...
May 4, 2025 at 8:08 PM
[Rover is AGAIN seen with his mouth dripping blood; all over the table he was seen sitting on.]
Being sick makes me feel like my whole world is falling apart...
[He slowly gets up, putting his paw on his mouth.]
I don't feel too well...
Being sick makes me feel like my whole world is falling apart...
[He slowly gets up, putting his paw on his mouth.]
I don't feel too well...
I think so; I think we're pretty good friends!
[Rover still is confused about the sudden reaction Rhyme had.]
Yeah! Mini is a great person! I like when they do their little awesome pink wa-wa thingy! It makes me look like a donut.
[Rover still is confused about the sudden reaction Rhyme had.]
Yeah! Mini is a great person! I like when they do their little awesome pink wa-wa thingy! It makes me look like a donut.
May 4, 2025 at 9:51 AM
I think so; I think we're pretty good friends!
[Rover still is confused about the sudden reaction Rhyme had.]
Yeah! Mini is a great person! I like when they do their little awesome pink wa-wa thingy! It makes me look like a donut.
[Rover still is confused about the sudden reaction Rhyme had.]
Yeah! Mini is a great person! I like when they do their little awesome pink wa-wa thingy! It makes me look like a donut.
She's been great! I mean, I kind of dumped a bucket of water on them, but they seem chill so far!
[Rover still looks kind of upset about it; it was kind of a major asshole move.]
They kind of treated one of my diseases, not fully, because I still got those coughs sometimes. But they helped tons!
[Rover still looks kind of upset about it; it was kind of a major asshole move.]
They kind of treated one of my diseases, not fully, because I still got those coughs sometimes. But they helped tons!
May 4, 2025 at 12:13 AM
She's been great! I mean, I kind of dumped a bucket of water on them, but they seem chill so far!
[Rover still looks kind of upset about it; it was kind of a major asshole move.]
They kind of treated one of my diseases, not fully, because I still got those coughs sometimes. But they helped tons!
[Rover still looks kind of upset about it; it was kind of a major asshole move.]
They kind of treated one of my diseases, not fully, because I still got those coughs sometimes. But they helped tons!
[He looks confused, before repeating himself.]
Mini...? Why? What happened?
[Rover starts to sweat a little, slowly walking back.]
Uh... Hello?
Mini...? Why? What happened?
[Rover starts to sweat a little, slowly walking back.]
Uh... Hello?
May 3, 2025 at 10:01 PM
[He looks confused, before repeating himself.]
Mini...? Why? What happened?
[Rover starts to sweat a little, slowly walking back.]
Uh... Hello?
Mini...? Why? What happened?
[Rover starts to sweat a little, slowly walking back.]
Uh... Hello?
[Rover genuinely gets sent back by the razor-sharp stare this lady has.]
I'm a dog! A talking dog, which many folk that I talked with established as odd, but I don't think it is!
[He scratches his head slowly.]
Now that I think about it, you look nothing like Mini... You're much more threatening!
I'm a dog! A talking dog, which many folk that I talked with established as odd, but I don't think it is!
[He scratches his head slowly.]
Now that I think about it, you look nothing like Mini... You're much more threatening!
May 3, 2025 at 8:39 PM
[Rover genuinely gets sent back by the razor-sharp stare this lady has.]
I'm a dog! A talking dog, which many folk that I talked with established as odd, but I don't think it is!
[He scratches his head slowly.]
Now that I think about it, you look nothing like Mini... You're much more threatening!
I'm a dog! A talking dog, which many folk that I talked with established as odd, but I don't think it is!
[He scratches his head slowly.]
Now that I think about it, you look nothing like Mini... You're much more threatening!
Oy, senorita!
[Rover just walks up before slipping over; he awkwardly gets up and scratches his arm.]
You look... different from the other folk I've seen around here! You kind of remind me of my best bud, tho...
[Rover just walks up before slipping over; he awkwardly gets up and scratches his arm.]
You look... different from the other folk I've seen around here! You kind of remind me of my best bud, tho...
May 3, 2025 at 11:48 AM
Oy, senorita!
[Rover just walks up before slipping over; he awkwardly gets up and scratches his arm.]
You look... different from the other folk I've seen around here! You kind of remind me of my best bud, tho...
[Rover just walks up before slipping over; he awkwardly gets up and scratches his arm.]
You look... different from the other folk I've seen around here! You kind of remind me of my best bud, tho...
[Rover stares at Mini, before pulling out an iced bucket of water, slowly preparing his mischief.]
Think fast!
[He says out loud before just dropping the whole bucket in them, not in their face though; can't risk them choking.]
Think fast!
[He says out loud before just dropping the whole bucket in them, not in their face though; can't risk them choking.]
April 29, 2025 at 6:42 PM
[Rover stares at Mini, before pulling out an iced bucket of water, slowly preparing his mischief.]
Think fast!
[He says out loud before just dropping the whole bucket in them, not in their face though; can't risk them choking.]
Think fast!
[He says out loud before just dropping the whole bucket in them, not in their face though; can't risk them choking.]
[... He seems happy, and then he stores the paper in his jacket, giving Sparky a few pets, a little hug and starting to walk off, yelling from a good enough distance.]
I'LL GO AND SEE THEM! THANKS, CAPTAIN! YOU'RE THE BEST!
[Rover says something else, but the distance makes it hard to hear.]
[+]
I'LL GO AND SEE THEM! THANKS, CAPTAIN! YOU'RE THE BEST!
[Rover says something else, but the distance makes it hard to hear.]
[+]
April 28, 2025 at 11:04 PM
[... He seems happy, and then he stores the paper in his jacket, giving Sparky a few pets, a little hug and starting to walk off, yelling from a good enough distance.]
I'LL GO AND SEE THEM! THANKS, CAPTAIN! YOU'RE THE BEST!
[Rover says something else, but the distance makes it hard to hear.]
[+]
I'LL GO AND SEE THEM! THANKS, CAPTAIN! YOU'RE THE BEST!
[Rover says something else, but the distance makes it hard to hear.]
[+]
That is really cryptic, man... But, if you can guarantee my safety, I really don't wanna be a corpse again, captain.
[Rover slowly puts his paw close to the paper, gently grabbing it before looking at it, paying close attention to Sparky.]
I'll see what I can do, alright?
[Rover slowly puts his paw close to the paper, gently grabbing it before looking at it, paying close attention to Sparky.]
I'll see what I can do, alright?
April 28, 2025 at 2:39 PM
That is really cryptic, man... But, if you can guarantee my safety, I really don't wanna be a corpse again, captain.
[Rover slowly puts his paw close to the paper, gently grabbing it before looking at it, paying close attention to Sparky.]
I'll see what I can do, alright?
[Rover slowly puts his paw close to the paper, gently grabbing it before looking at it, paying close attention to Sparky.]
I'll see what I can do, alright?
... Well, if you could give me the address to the hospital, I could give it a visit some other time.
[Rover keeps looking to the skies as he talks to Sparky.]
Seriously, though. Thank you so much for the help. Dog knows what would happen if you weren't sitting down here at the bench!
[Rover keeps looking to the skies as he talks to Sparky.]
Seriously, though. Thank you so much for the help. Dog knows what would happen if you weren't sitting down here at the bench!
April 28, 2025 at 9:29 AM
... Well, if you could give me the address to the hospital, I could give it a visit some other time.
[Rover keeps looking to the skies as he talks to Sparky.]
Seriously, though. Thank you so much for the help. Dog knows what would happen if you weren't sitting down here at the bench!
[Rover keeps looking to the skies as he talks to Sparky.]
Seriously, though. Thank you so much for the help. Dog knows what would happen if you weren't sitting down here at the bench!
...
[Rover tries to process it all; it's hard to believe, for him... But he knows its somewhat true.]
Well, even though I kind of got minced in your world, thanks for the compliment!
[He pets Sparky a little before he stares at the clouds, starting to get dark.]
Um, I should get going, Cap'n...
[Rover tries to process it all; it's hard to believe, for him... But he knows its somewhat true.]
Well, even though I kind of got minced in your world, thanks for the compliment!
[He pets Sparky a little before he stares at the clouds, starting to get dark.]
Um, I should get going, Cap'n...
April 28, 2025 at 1:01 AM
...
[Rover tries to process it all; it's hard to believe, for him... But he knows its somewhat true.]
Well, even though I kind of got minced in your world, thanks for the compliment!
[He pets Sparky a little before he stares at the clouds, starting to get dark.]
Um, I should get going, Cap'n...
[Rover tries to process it all; it's hard to believe, for him... But he knows its somewhat true.]
Well, even though I kind of got minced in your world, thanks for the compliment!
[He pets Sparky a little before he stares at the clouds, starting to get dark.]
Um, I should get going, Cap'n...
[Rover opens his mouth, but the words won't come out, he's perplexed, shocked and actually kind of scared because of the fact he's pink.]
So, am I supposed to stay pink like this or...?
[He taps his jacket to clean off the blood.]
I dunno what you did, but it seems to have worked pretty well!
So, am I supposed to stay pink like this or...?
[He taps his jacket to clean off the blood.]
I dunno what you did, but it seems to have worked pretty well!
April 27, 2025 at 5:58 PM
[Rover opens his mouth, but the words won't come out, he's perplexed, shocked and actually kind of scared because of the fact he's pink.]
So, am I supposed to stay pink like this or...?
[He taps his jacket to clean off the blood.]
I dunno what you did, but it seems to have worked pretty well!
So, am I supposed to stay pink like this or...?
[He taps his jacket to clean off the blood.]
I dunno what you did, but it seems to have worked pretty well!
Err, so tell me... How does this ritual work, Mini?
[He's still kind of doubtful, but he keeps his cool; after all, he isn't stupid enough to just doubt the skills of a god, especially one that's his bud.]
[He's still kind of doubtful, but he keeps his cool; after all, he isn't stupid enough to just doubt the skills of a god, especially one that's his bud.]
April 27, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Err, so tell me... How does this ritual work, Mini?
[He's still kind of doubtful, but he keeps his cool; after all, he isn't stupid enough to just doubt the skills of a god, especially one that's his bud.]
[He's still kind of doubtful, but he keeps his cool; after all, he isn't stupid enough to just doubt the skills of a god, especially one that's his bud.]
[Rover stares; he probably thought he was going to get rip to shreds the instant he even dares to move, so he doesn't move a muscle, or tries not to...]
I look like sprinkles! That's neat.
[If Rover had any kind of problem with his vision, he'd probably have an epileptic attack, but he's fine!]
I look like sprinkles! That's neat.
[If Rover had any kind of problem with his vision, he'd probably have an epileptic attack, but he's fine!]
April 27, 2025 at 5:02 PM
[Rover stares; he probably thought he was going to get rip to shreds the instant he even dares to move, so he doesn't move a muscle, or tries not to...]
I look like sprinkles! That's neat.
[If Rover had any kind of problem with his vision, he'd probably have an epileptic attack, but he's fine!]
I look like sprinkles! That's neat.
[If Rover had any kind of problem with his vision, he'd probably have an epileptic attack, but he's fine!]
P-Puppets? I don't know how that'd feel, but as long as you don't remove my consciousness, I'm up for whatever cool wackiness you've got!
[Rover prepares himself, hoping this doesn't leave him dizzy; that'd make a jelly accident look like nothing, but instead of jelly, blood. Duh!]
[Rover prepares himself, hoping this doesn't leave him dizzy; that'd make a jelly accident look like nothing, but instead of jelly, blood. Duh!]
April 27, 2025 at 2:07 AM
P-Puppets? I don't know how that'd feel, but as long as you don't remove my consciousness, I'm up for whatever cool wackiness you've got!
[Rover prepares himself, hoping this doesn't leave him dizzy; that'd make a jelly accident look like nothing, but instead of jelly, blood. Duh!]
[Rover prepares himself, hoping this doesn't leave him dizzy; that'd make a jelly accident look like nothing, but instead of jelly, blood. Duh!]
I guess I can walk there now...
[Rover checks for any blood on him—none! He was clean, but his uniform was still kind of dirty if you looked closely.]
Like a wandering ghost? Or...? I really hope the... other me didn't die a brutal death! What if it's true in this universe, too?!
[Rover checks for any blood on him—none! He was clean, but his uniform was still kind of dirty if you looked closely.]
Like a wandering ghost? Or...? I really hope the... other me didn't die a brutal death! What if it's true in this universe, too?!
April 27, 2025 at 1:52 AM
I guess I can walk there now...
[Rover checks for any blood on him—none! He was clean, but his uniform was still kind of dirty if you looked closely.]
Like a wandering ghost? Or...? I really hope the... other me didn't die a brutal death! What if it's true in this universe, too?!
[Rover checks for any blood on him—none! He was clean, but his uniform was still kind of dirty if you looked closely.]
Like a wandering ghost? Or...? I really hope the... other me didn't die a brutal death! What if it's true in this universe, too?!
... But, I feel like there's some collateral damage to that, huh?
[Rover seems to be able to tell how he really feels, what he was thinking of, just by the look on his good buds eyes.]
I know the me in your world died, but... I promise you, I'm alive n' well in this world! I hope...
[Rover seems to be able to tell how he really feels, what he was thinking of, just by the look on his good buds eyes.]
I know the me in your world died, but... I promise you, I'm alive n' well in this world! I hope...
April 26, 2025 at 9:28 PM
... But, I feel like there's some collateral damage to that, huh?
[Rover seems to be able to tell how he really feels, what he was thinking of, just by the look on his good buds eyes.]
I know the me in your world died, but... I promise you, I'm alive n' well in this world! I hope...
[Rover seems to be able to tell how he really feels, what he was thinking of, just by the look on his good buds eyes.]
I know the me in your world died, but... I promise you, I'm alive n' well in this world! I hope...
Jeez, it's great to speak now that I'm not basically stuttering on the blood inside my mouth.
[He tries to put his paws on Sparky; after managing to do it, he kind of pets him, as a token of gratitude since he can't really see him and doesn't want to interrupt Sparky with a hug.]
[He tries to put his paws on Sparky; after managing to do it, he kind of pets him, as a token of gratitude since he can't really see him and doesn't want to interrupt Sparky with a hug.]
April 26, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Jeez, it's great to speak now that I'm not basically stuttering on the blood inside my mouth.
[He tries to put his paws on Sparky; after managing to do it, he kind of pets him, as a token of gratitude since he can't really see him and doesn't want to interrupt Sparky with a hug.]
[He tries to put his paws on Sparky; after managing to do it, he kind of pets him, as a token of gratitude since he can't really see him and doesn't want to interrupt Sparky with a hug.]
[It seems to work quite effectively! Rover seems to feel quite stressed in some way; it's a bad omen, that's for sure...]
Uh, can I open my eyes now, Sparky? I don't really like the dark inside my head all that much!
[His coughing stops; he cleans his blood off the corners of his mouth.]
[+]
Uh, can I open my eyes now, Sparky? I don't really like the dark inside my head all that much!
[His coughing stops; he cleans his blood off the corners of his mouth.]
[+]
April 26, 2025 at 5:52 PM
[It seems to work quite effectively! Rover seems to feel quite stressed in some way; it's a bad omen, that's for sure...]
Uh, can I open my eyes now, Sparky? I don't really like the dark inside my head all that much!
[His coughing stops; he cleans his blood off the corners of his mouth.]
[+]
Uh, can I open my eyes now, Sparky? I don't really like the dark inside my head all that much!
[His coughing stops; he cleans his blood off the corners of his mouth.]
[+]
[Rover doesn't speak, but his tail starts to wag...]
Well, be careful and make sure there's no trash around because I'm kind of hungry.
[He seems scared of the landing, but under the hands of Mini? He's probably sure they'll be fine.]
I could go for a burger or two.
Well, be careful and make sure there's no trash around because I'm kind of hungry.
[He seems scared of the landing, but under the hands of Mini? He's probably sure they'll be fine.]
I could go for a burger or two.
April 26, 2025 at 12:37 PM
[Rover doesn't speak, but his tail starts to wag...]
Well, be careful and make sure there's no trash around because I'm kind of hungry.
[He seems scared of the landing, but under the hands of Mini? He's probably sure they'll be fine.]
I could go for a burger or two.
Well, be careful and make sure there's no trash around because I'm kind of hungry.
[He seems scared of the landing, but under the hands of Mini? He's probably sure they'll be fine.]
I could go for a burger or two.
My eyes gone sore.
[Rover claims due to the time he's keeping his eyes closed, but he makes sure that doesn't get in the way of things.]
[... The font of the whole blood-puking seems kind of unknown, however, it's likely treatable, but not curable... Yet.]
[Rover claims due to the time he's keeping his eyes closed, but he makes sure that doesn't get in the way of things.]
[... The font of the whole blood-puking seems kind of unknown, however, it's likely treatable, but not curable... Yet.]
April 26, 2025 at 12:28 PM
My eyes gone sore.
[Rover claims due to the time he's keeping his eyes closed, but he makes sure that doesn't get in the way of things.]
[... The font of the whole blood-puking seems kind of unknown, however, it's likely treatable, but not curable... Yet.]
[Rover claims due to the time he's keeping his eyes closed, but he makes sure that doesn't get in the way of things.]
[... The font of the whole blood-puking seems kind of unknown, however, it's likely treatable, but not curable... Yet.]
I'm trusting on you, buddy--
[Rover sits down, doing it much smoothly due to the guidance, before he covers his mouth with his jacket.]
Aye, captain!
[... At least he can keep some good humor even though he's quite literally dying. Slowly, he closes his eyes, not opening until told.]
[Rover sits down, doing it much smoothly due to the guidance, before he covers his mouth with his jacket.]
Aye, captain!
[... At least he can keep some good humor even though he's quite literally dying. Slowly, he closes his eyes, not opening until told.]
April 26, 2025 at 3:10 AM
I'm trusting on you, buddy--
[Rover sits down, doing it much smoothly due to the guidance, before he covers his mouth with his jacket.]
Aye, captain!
[... At least he can keep some good humor even though he's quite literally dying. Slowly, he closes his eyes, not opening until told.]
[Rover sits down, doing it much smoothly due to the guidance, before he covers his mouth with his jacket.]
Aye, captain!
[... At least he can keep some good humor even though he's quite literally dying. Slowly, he closes his eyes, not opening until told.]