Texas Patti
@texaspatti.bsky.social
Hall of fame M E M B E R, raised in Germany living in Los Angeles
🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻
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FOR YOUR HEALTH
🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻
https://bit.ly/3OPoElW
🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺
- u know my main job and passion
- personal training
- healthy food specialist
- OMEGA3 specialist
#behornest
🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻
——————————-
FOR YOUR HEALTH
🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻
https://bit.ly/3OPoElW
🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺
- u know my main job and passion
- personal training
- healthy food specialist
- OMEGA3 specialist
#behornest
🎙️ Wenn ich eine Sprachnachricht mache, wird es automatisch ein Podcast. 🎤
Ich wollte nur kurz was sagen – jetzt gibt’s ne neue Staffel. Wer kennt’s? 🤣
#PodcastVibes #SprachnachrichtFail #ZuVielGerede #PodcastLife #VoiceMessageKing #RealTalk #SprachnachrichtDesTodes #ImmerEinPodcast #SocialMediaHumo
Ich wollte nur kurz was sagen – jetzt gibt’s ne neue Staffel. Wer kennt’s? 🤣
#PodcastVibes #SprachnachrichtFail #ZuVielGerede #PodcastLife #VoiceMessageKing #RealTalk #SprachnachrichtDesTodes #ImmerEinPodcast #SocialMediaHumo
March 19, 2025 at 3:48 PM
🎙️ Wenn ich eine Sprachnachricht mache, wird es automatisch ein Podcast. 🎤
Ich wollte nur kurz was sagen – jetzt gibt’s ne neue Staffel. Wer kennt’s? 🤣
#PodcastVibes #SprachnachrichtFail #ZuVielGerede #PodcastLife #VoiceMessageKing #RealTalk #SprachnachrichtDesTodes #ImmerEinPodcast #SocialMediaHumo
Ich wollte nur kurz was sagen – jetzt gibt’s ne neue Staffel. Wer kennt’s? 🤣
#PodcastVibes #SprachnachrichtFail #ZuVielGerede #PodcastLife #VoiceMessageKing #RealTalk #SprachnachrichtDesTodes #ImmerEinPodcast #SocialMediaHumo
I don’t get this logic… but seriously, who on earth fits through this window??? 🤯 USA compliance logic at its finest! 😂”
🔍 Question for you: Is this just over-the-top safety regulation, or did someone actually try this? 🤔
#OnlyInAmerica #LogicNotFound #FailOfTheDay #USARules
🔍 Question for you: Is this just over-the-top safety regulation, or did someone actually try this? 🤔
#OnlyInAmerica #LogicNotFound #FailOfTheDay #USARules
March 15, 2025 at 4:31 PM
I don’t get this logic… but seriously, who on earth fits through this window??? 🤯 USA compliance logic at its finest! 😂”
🔍 Question for you: Is this just over-the-top safety regulation, or did someone actually try this? 🤔
#OnlyInAmerica #LogicNotFound #FailOfTheDay #USARules
🔍 Question for you: Is this just over-the-top safety regulation, or did someone actually try this? 🤔
#OnlyInAmerica #LogicNotFound #FailOfTheDay #USARules
March 14, 2025 at 11:54 PM
I’m so tired of this question: Where is it better—Los Angeles or Germany?
At -5°C, what do you think? ❄️🌴
Drop your thoughts in the comments!
🔥 L.A. or Germany? 🇺🇸🇩🇪
🔥 Summer or winter? 🌞❄️
🔥 Warmth or Christmas spirit?
#LosAngeles #Germany
At -5°C, what do you think? ❄️🌴
Drop your thoughts in the comments!
🔥 L.A. or Germany? 🇺🇸🇩🇪
🔥 Summer or winter? 🌞❄️
🔥 Warmth or Christmas spirit?
#LosAngeles #Germany
February 21, 2025 at 2:02 AM
I’m so tired of this question: Where is it better—Los Angeles or Germany?
At -5°C, what do you think? ❄️🌴
Drop your thoughts in the comments!
🔥 L.A. or Germany? 🇺🇸🇩🇪
🔥 Summer or winter? 🌞❄️
🔥 Warmth or Christmas spirit?
#LosAngeles #Germany
At -5°C, what do you think? ❄️🌴
Drop your thoughts in the comments!
🔥 L.A. or Germany? 🇺🇸🇩🇪
🔥 Summer or winter? 🌞❄️
🔥 Warmth or Christmas spirit?
#LosAngeles #Germany
🎤💦 Do you also think you can sing? 😂 In the shower, you’re a superstar… but outside? 🫠🎶
We all know it—inside the bathroom, you sound like Beyoncé, but in real life, your neighbors think a cat is being tortured! 🐱🔊
🔥 #ShowerConcert #BathroomDiva #SuperstarInTheShower
We all know it—inside the bathroom, you sound like Beyoncé, but in real life, your neighbors think a cat is being tortured! 🐱🔊
🔥 #ShowerConcert #BathroomDiva #SuperstarInTheShower
February 20, 2025 at 2:02 AM
🎤💦 Do you also think you can sing? 😂 In the shower, you’re a superstar… but outside? 🫠🎶
We all know it—inside the bathroom, you sound like Beyoncé, but in real life, your neighbors think a cat is being tortured! 🐱🔊
🔥 #ShowerConcert #BathroomDiva #SuperstarInTheShower
We all know it—inside the bathroom, you sound like Beyoncé, but in real life, your neighbors think a cat is being tortured! 🐱🔊
🔥 #ShowerConcert #BathroomDiva #SuperstarInTheShower
🌹💔 Valentine’s Day or Nah? 💔🌹
“If my husband only remembers to get me flowers on Valentine’s Day, he might as well not bother at all. Love isn’t a one-day flash sale, it’s a lifetime subscription. Keep your guilt-roses, buddy—I’d rather buy my own. 😂🚫 #NotImpressed #TryAgainNextYear
“If my husband only remembers to get me flowers on Valentine’s Day, he might as well not bother at all. Love isn’t a one-day flash sale, it’s a lifetime subscription. Keep your guilt-roses, buddy—I’d rather buy my own. 😂🚫 #NotImpressed #TryAgainNextYear
February 15, 2025 at 5:48 PM
🌹💔 Valentine’s Day or Nah? 💔🌹
“If my husband only remembers to get me flowers on Valentine’s Day, he might as well not bother at all. Love isn’t a one-day flash sale, it’s a lifetime subscription. Keep your guilt-roses, buddy—I’d rather buy my own. 😂🚫 #NotImpressed #TryAgainNextYear
“If my husband only remembers to get me flowers on Valentine’s Day, he might as well not bother at all. Love isn’t a one-day flash sale, it’s a lifetime subscription. Keep your guilt-roses, buddy—I’d rather buy my own. 😂🚫 #NotImpressed #TryAgainNextYear
OMG, THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING! 😳 I just wanted to grab some food, saw a guy, and was 100% sure it was my neighbor. So I confidently go, “Hey! How’s it going?” …#Help #Embarrassed
February 4, 2025 at 7:18 PM
OMG, THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING! 😳 I just wanted to grab some food, saw a guy, and was 100% sure it was my neighbor. So I confidently go, “Hey! How’s it going?” …#Help #Embarrassed
Do you know this feeling? 🤦♀️ You try to film a video, but all that comes out of your mouth is… vegetables? 🥕😂”
I swear I had something cool to say, but instead, I look like a rabbit on speed! 😅🎥 What was your last filming fail? Drop it in the comments!
🔄 Don’t forget to save & share! 💥
#TikTokFails
I swear I had something cool to say, but instead, I look like a rabbit on speed! 😅🎥 What was your last filming fail? Drop it in the comments!
🔄 Don’t forget to save & share! 💥
#TikTokFails
February 3, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Do you know this feeling? 🤦♀️ You try to film a video, but all that comes out of your mouth is… vegetables? 🥕😂”
I swear I had something cool to say, but instead, I look like a rabbit on speed! 😅🎥 What was your last filming fail? Drop it in the comments!
🔄 Don’t forget to save & share! 💥
#TikTokFails
I swear I had something cool to say, but instead, I look like a rabbit on speed! 😅🎥 What was your last filming fail? Drop it in the comments!
🔄 Don’t forget to save & share! 💥
#TikTokFails
2024 is the year of transformation, growth, and pushing limits. Every picture tells a story of progress, passion, and the journey ahead. Join me as I keep moving forward and inspire others to do the same. 🚀💪 #NewYearNewGoals #2024Journey
February 2, 2025 at 6:03 PM
2024 is the year of transformation, growth, and pushing limits. Every picture tells a story of progress, passion, and the journey ahead. Join me as I keep moving forward and inspire others to do the same. 🚀💪 #NewYearNewGoals #2024Journey
The classic travel struggle: Packing for a trip – and guess who’s over the 23kg luggage limit again? Yep, my husband! And who has to deal with the mess at the airport? ME!
Why do men always pack like they’re moving to another country? Who else can relate?
➡️ Tag the person who ALWAYS overpacks!
Why do men always pack like they’re moving to another country? Who else can relate?
➡️ Tag the person who ALWAYS overpacks!
February 1, 2025 at 5:24 PM
The classic travel struggle: Packing for a trip – and guess who’s over the 23kg luggage limit again? Yep, my husband! And who has to deal with the mess at the airport? ME!
Why do men always pack like they’re moving to another country? Who else can relate?
➡️ Tag the person who ALWAYS overpacks!
Why do men always pack like they’re moving to another country? Who else can relate?
➡️ Tag the person who ALWAYS overpacks!
✈️ Do you know this feeling? Panic before a flight! Did I forget something?! 🤯👜 Checked my list 100 times, but the doubt remains… 😅 Who can relate? #TravelPanic #FlightAnxiety #DidIForgetSomething
January 31, 2025 at 8:54 PM
✈️ Do you know this feeling? Panic before a flight! Did I forget something?! 🤯👜 Checked my list 100 times, but the doubt remains… 😅 Who can relate? #TravelPanic #FlightAnxiety #DidIForgetSomething
OMG, do you guys know this feeling too?! 😱 Haven’t eaten all day, and now I could literally empty the whole fridge! 🫠🥴
👉 What’s your go-to snack when hunger hits hard? 😅👇 #FoodCravings #HungerAttack #LateNightSnack
👉 What’s your go-to snack when hunger hits hard? 😅👇 #FoodCravings #HungerAttack #LateNightSnack
January 29, 2025 at 5:40 PM
OMG, do you guys know this feeling too?! 😱 Haven’t eaten all day, and now I could literally empty the whole fridge! 🫠🥴
👉 What’s your go-to snack when hunger hits hard? 😅👇 #FoodCravings #HungerAttack #LateNightSnack
👉 What’s your go-to snack when hunger hits hard? 😅👇 #FoodCravings #HungerAttack #LateNightSnack
Me: ‘Are you mad or something?’
Her: ‘No, why? You already know everything, don’t you?’ 🤔😂
#FriendshipVibes #YouKnowEverything #DramaFree”
文案：
我：”你是不是生气了？”
她：”没有啊，为什么？你不是什么都知道吗？” 🤔😂
#友谊日常 #你啥都懂 #没有矛盾
Her: ‘No, why? You already know everything, don’t you?’ 🤔😂
#FriendshipVibes #YouKnowEverything #DramaFree”
文案：
我：”你是不是生气了？”
她：”没有啊，为什么？你不是什么都知道吗？” 🤔😂
#友谊日常 #你啥都懂 #没有矛盾
January 27, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Me: ‘Are you mad or something?’
Her: ‘No, why? You already know everything, don’t you?’ 🤔😂
#FriendshipVibes #YouKnowEverything #DramaFree”
文案：
我：”你是不是生气了？”
她：”没有啊，为什么？你不是什么都知道吗？” 🤔😂
#友谊日常 #你啥都懂 #没有矛盾
Her: ‘No, why? You already know everything, don’t you?’ 🤔😂
#FriendshipVibes #YouKnowEverything #DramaFree”
文案：
我：”你是不是生气了？”
她：”没有啊，为什么？你不是什么都知道吗？” 🤔😂
#友谊日常 #你啥都懂 #没有矛盾
They say cooking is an art… but my kitchen is more of a comedy show! 🎭🔥 Watch me turn simple recipes into unexpected masterpieces (or disasters?) 😂 #KitchenComedy #ChefInChaos”
January 26, 2025 at 5:37 PM
They say cooking is an art… but my kitchen is more of a comedy show! 🎭🔥 Watch me turn simple recipes into unexpected masterpieces (or disasters?) 😂 #KitchenComedy #ChefInChaos”
I invite at 8:00 PM, and they show up at 10:12 PM… AHHHHHHHHH! 🤯
How do you deal with this? Share your thoughts!
#Punctuality #TimeMatters #OldSchoolValues #RespectTime #LateAgain
准时真的已经是老派了吗？
我邀请大家晚上8点，结果他们10:12才到… 啊啊啊啊啊啊！🤯
你们会怎么应对这种情况？欢迎分享你的看法！
#准时 #时间观念 #尊重时间 #老派价值观 #迟到
January 25, 2025 at 5:50 PM
I invite at 8:00 PM, and they show up at 10:12 PM… AHHHHHHHHH! 🤯
How do you deal with this? Share your thoughts!
#Punctuality #TimeMatters #OldSchoolValues #RespectTime #LateAgain
准时真的已经是老派了吗？
我邀请大家晚上8点，结果他们10:12才到… 啊啊啊啊啊啊！🤯
你们会怎么应对这种情况？欢迎分享你的看法！
#准时 #时间观念 #尊重时间 #老派价值观 #迟到
Alle betrunken, Ich nüchtern, alle drücken mich ziehe an der Tür beim verlassen der Gaststätte- wie DUMM kann man sein?
#karneval2025
“Everyone drunk, I’m sober, everyone pushing me as I pull the door while leaving the pub – how stupid can you be?
“大家都喝醉了，我是清醒的，所有人都在推我，而我在拉门离开酒馆——能有多蠢？
#狂欢节2025”
#karneval2025
“Everyone drunk, I’m sober, everyone pushing me as I pull the door while leaving the pub – how stupid can you be?
“大家都喝醉了，我是清醒的，所有人都在推我，而我在拉门离开酒馆——能有多蠢？
#狂欢节2025”
January 24, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Alle betrunken, Ich nüchtern, alle drücken mich ziehe an der Tür beim verlassen der Gaststätte- wie DUMM kann man sein?
#karneval2025
“Everyone drunk, I’m sober, everyone pushing me as I pull the door while leaving the pub – how stupid can you be?
“大家都喝醉了，我是清醒的，所有人都在推我，而我在拉门离开酒馆——能有多蠢？
#狂欢节2025”
#karneval2025
“Everyone drunk, I’m sober, everyone pushing me as I pull the door while leaving the pub – how stupid can you be?
“大家都喝醉了，我是清醒的，所有人都在推我，而我在拉门离开酒馆——能有多蠢？
#狂欢节2025”
Frage: KANN MAN VORSCHLAFEN????? - 可以提前补觉吗？
#提前补觉 #疲惫 #早点睡 - Is it possible to sleep in advance?
#sleepahead #tired #earlytobed
#vorschlafen #müde #frühinsbett
#提前补觉 #疲惫 #早点睡 - Is it possible to sleep in advance?
#sleepahead #tired #earlytobed
#vorschlafen #müde #frühinsbett
January 23, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Frage: KANN MAN VORSCHLAFEN????? - 可以提前补觉吗？
#提前补觉 #疲惫 #早点睡 - Is it possible to sleep in advance?
#sleepahead #tired #earlytobed
#vorschlafen #müde #frühinsbett
#提前补觉 #疲惫 #早点睡 - Is it possible to sleep in advance?
#sleepahead #tired #earlytobed
#vorschlafen #müde #frühinsbett
…, wie doof kann man sein!!! - how stupid can you be??? - 这个句子在普通话中是：“人能有多笨？”
#peinlich #unfassbar #telefon
#peinlich #unfassbar #telefon
January 22, 2025 at 5:00 PM
…, wie doof kann man sein!!! - how stupid can you be??? - 这个句子在普通话中是：“人能有多笨？”
#peinlich #unfassbar #telefon
#peinlich #unfassbar #telefon
…, the crazy Germans
January 22, 2025 at 12:51 AM
…, the crazy Germans