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Tessa Byron

@tessabyron.bsky.social

16 followers 79 following 3 posts

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Tessa Byron

@tessabyron.bsky.social

Pink sky from a wintry morning dog walk this week

January 4, 2025 at 10:12 PM

Reposted by Tessa Byron

Brian Bilston

@brianbilston.bsky.social

Here’s a poem called ‘This was the year that was not the year’.

This was the year that was not the year

This was the year that was not the year
I repaired the bathroom tap
and emptied out the kitchen drawer
of a lifetime’s worth of crap.

This was the year that was not the year
in which I launched a new career.
A West End hit eluded me
and so did Time Person of the Year.

This was the year that was not the year
I became a household name.
Action figures were not sold of me.
I wasn’t made a dame.

This was the year that was not the year
I spent less time on my phone.
Nights of passion did not happen
in boutique hotels in Rome.

This was the year that was the year
I didn't get that much done –
much the same as the year before,
much like the one to come.

Brian Bilston

December 31, 2024 at 9:05 AM

Reposted by Tessa Byron

Adam Sharp

@adamcsharp.bsky.social

A list of sorely missed Victorian-era slang…

Got the morbs = temporary sadness
Gigglemug = always smiling
Scandal water = tea
Bitch the pot = pour the tea
Sauce-box = mouth
Cupid’s kettle drums = breasts
Dash my wig = OMG
Tight as a boiled owl = drunk
Poked up = embarrassed
Not up to dick = unwell

December 20, 2024 at 11:03 AM

Reposted by Tessa Byron

Alex Andreou

@sturdyalex.bsky.social

Just in case she says she was misquoted and tries to hack Hansard.

Also, for the hilarious faces on Patel, Burghard, and Philp as they realise, moments after she has lied to the Commons, "Wait, when was that last protest?"

November 27, 2024 at 12:57 PM

Reposted by Tessa Byron

Moose Allain

@mooseallain.bsky.social

Cartoon of two people, one holding a Henry Hoover, the other a leaf blower. The nozzles meet in the middle. Caption: When vacuum cleaners and leaf blowers fall in love

November 24, 2024 at 12:55 PM

Reposted by Tessa Byron

Brian Bilston

@brianbilston.bsky.social

Today’s poem is called ‘She’d Dance’.

She’d Dance

She’d dance like no one was watching
although she liked to think he was.
The kitchen was her grand ballroom;
her partner was a mop.

She’d foxtrot among the pots and pans,
she’d paso doble to the sink,
and as she swept across the floor,
her mind danced, too. She’d think

of how he’d held her in his arms
at the Locarno and the Ritz -
whirling, waltzing, a world apart -
in the years before the kids,

and longer still before the shadow
the doctor spotted on his lungs.
How dazzlingly they had danced!
How dizzyingly she had spun!

Her neighbours saw her sometimes,
shuffling bent-backed to the shops.
But at home, she’d dance like no one was watching
although she liked to think he was.

Brian Bilston

November 21, 2024 at 9:08 AM

Reposted by Tessa Byron

Moose Allain

@mooseallain.bsky.social

🎶 She wore an
Itsy bitsy teeny weeny…

Photo of the packaging of M&S Cheesy Mushroom Arancini

September 4, 2023 at 5:52 PM

Reposted by Tessa Byron

Guy Shrubsole

@guyshrubsole.bsky.social

Jeremy Clarkson, James Dyson, the Earl of Derby – they’re up in arms about paying tax on the vast areas of land they own.

Small farmers are worried that changes to Agricultural Property Relief (APR) will affect them. But who are the big landowners complaining the loudest? Thread: 1/