Five Oh Five（他妈/他妈的）
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tenletters.bsky.social
Five Oh Five（他妈/他妈的）
@tenletters.bsky.social
4.6K followers 3.2K following 4.3K posts
Hi, I'm KMK—an avid micro-autobiographer, but overdue for a nap. Will update!
📍Santa Barbara. Formerly of SFO, PEK, BKK, LAX, et alibi. Eternal student. Dad to a trilingual (ES/EN/ZH) kid.
linktr.ee/diezletras
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tenletters.bsky.social
Incurred like $250 in fees & shipping btwn a large box of books shipped this AM, a folding bike, & 2 big bags. But I'm on the plane & about to take off; until next time, Toronto, I'll miss you! 🍁❤️‍🔥🍁
Lots of shit, on a luggage cart Lady Liberty & little old me
November 17, 2025 at 11:19 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
This didn't post before; got into car. Add to the list: 1st time having a native Chinese speaker respond to a call for auto service. Had to go thru back seat to the trunk in this Jetta, which is how my own Jetta got robbed the 1 (?) time this ever happened to a car of mine… glad no security update!
November 16, 2025 at 2:31 AM
tenletters.bsky.social
Die Spitz directing those present to make room for a mosh pit near the front of a sellout crowd last night at the Horseshoe Tavern in Toronto:
November 15, 2025 at 10:17 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
《Yes, a AAA card is useful in Canada for US members through a reciprocal agreement with the Canadian Automobile Association (CAA), providing benefits like roadside assistance and discounts on hotels and attractions.》 says the AI that told me the resto I'm in serves breakfast til 3 (it's actually 2.)
Yes, a AAA card is useful in Canada for US members through a reciprocal agreement with the Canadian Automobile Association (CAA), providing benefits like roadside assistance and discounts on hotels and attractions.
November 15, 2025 at 9:16 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
I seem to have just locked my rental car's keys in its trunk, next to some "Busch Bullet" tiny beers I ran back in light rain from The Beer Store. This is a first, and I guess I'll now find out if the AAA card in my wallet is of any use in Canada. Would prefer not to call the indy rental car company
《KEEP GUELPH BEAUTIFUL Enjoy a Picnic at Riverside Park... We've got you covered! Free Drink Cups & Paper Plates with every Pizza Pickup Order! Whether you're heading to Riverside Park or just love eating outdoors, we'll make it easy and clean. Just ask at pickup No extra charge But Please Don't Leave a Mess!》 Busch Bullets 222ml in each, when a cup = 240ml =8oz. So basically the same amount as a tiny Sapporo of yesteryear (or today in Japan) Ontario proud since 1927 Champions of Beer Featured prominently in photo is some kinda retro Old Milwaukee
November 15, 2025 at 9:12 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
Just housed a delicious meal of halibut & chips from a newish chain called Halibut House. Likely to be a thread, albeit not one I'll fully type out now: Canadian fast food is so much better than its American counterpart. If you have info or strong feelings on this topic, feel free to pipe in.
The outside window of Halibut House Fish & Chips in Guelph advertises a breakfast special. This is served from 8am-2pm, FYI. In the background, the Ontarian institution that is The Beer Store The menu at Halibut House tells their story: 《EST. 2004 Halibut House is a proudly Canadian company founded in the charming town of Port Perry, Ontario in 2004. The founding couple, Julie and Ken, arrived in Canada as refugees, and dedicated themselves to bettering their lives. Julie arrived from Cambodia when she was seventeen in search of the Canadian dream. She spent her time learning the Canadian way of life while working several jobs to make a living. She eventually found her love in food service resulting in the eventual creation of the Halibat House. Together with her husband, they worked firelessly for years perfecting their craft, often working seven days a week, and over fourteen hours a day. Hard work, learning, and passion has continued to be an emphasis for their business and their commitment to providing a quality experience has led to the growth of the Halibut House chain. Today, Halibut House sources only quality ingredients using local Ontario potatoes for their fresh cut fries and using only wild and sustainably caught, chemical free fish. Our fish is then lightly battered to give our customers that juicy satisfaction of taking that great crisp bite. Being a family business, family has continued to be the core value of the Halibut House brand. Every single location is run by a member of their local community, who genuinely care and are always looking to improve. Halibut House is a place to see friendly faces for quick service and great quality food. Thank you for coming in to visit our family today. CATCH YOU AGAIN SOON!》 The kids' menu includes a halibut option, which is pretty exciting as far as kids' menus go The halibut lunch portion, pictured in front of some very functional luncheonette ketchup & tartar sauce dispensers
November 15, 2025 at 8:43 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
👋🏻 from Guelph; my 1st visit. Here for a 2nd-hand Nintendo Alarmo—a gift for my kid; gifts this year tailored to help her deal w/ an inherited aversion to school & waking for it in the AM. I'm now free to do whatever until tonight; a Beijing friend living in Winnipeg is playing a gig in Toronto.
A boxed Nintendo Alarmo being sold by a kid through his dad to support a summer camp fund. Or so goes the plausible story; only met the dad, in a Tim Horton's parking lot in Guelph. A sign indicating an exit from the 401 to take the 6 to Guelph A trucking company called CAT, not to be confused with the American company or the international ferry btwn Bar Harbor, Maine & Yarmouth, Nova Scotia. This one has a website I suppose I'll be visiting, at www.cat.ca An electric & bilingual freeway sign indicating that speeding laws are enforced. Better was the non-electric sign indicating that the max fine for speeding is $10,000 —I'm so glad I got driving across Canada out of my system before this was a thing, or at least without getting caught (dunno.)
November 15, 2025 at 8:22 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
Peak fancy breakfast achieved for this trip. I'm one of the few men at a very high-tea feeling brunch bistro—that also serves dinner, actually—called Tiarré's, at 1980 Queen Street East in The (chic/evolving) Beaches 'hood of Toronto. I got the pseudo-poutine farmhouse fry, w/ an egg over-medium. 👩🏽‍🍳💋
The farmhouse fry skillet, after a bite or two has been taken. I sat at the bar, since solo dining. Salt & pepper shaker have the word PARIS emblazoned on them. Utensils extremely satisfying in their grip & weight distribution, among the best I've ever encountered! The menu describes this dish as 《A twist on poutine! House made mixed potato hash with sautéed onions, Quebec cheese curds, bell peppers, chorizo sausage, crisp bacon, jalapenos, and house made peppercorn gravy (individual or family style). Sub hollandaise for gravy $2 Add an egg on top $4》 An aspect of a Christmas tree installation in front of an indoor mural in a corner of the restaurant. The tree is pink, while its ornaments—including one that represents "farm fresh eggs"—are gold. There's a pink streetlamp off to one side, and the Eiffel Tower is visible in the black-and-white (pen and ink looking) mural. A menu aspect, before I noticed that they do actually have a new high tea service from 3-8pm. This is an image of the BRUNCH TOWER FOR TWO, which the menu describes as Our fan favourite 2-stack pancake with white chocolate and pistachio tartufo. Choice of 3 protein, grilled tomato, home hash, 3 eggs cooked to your liking, choice of 2 toasts》 Price listed is $60 Canadian, which for the time-being is a mere $43 or so US. A photo I turned around and snapped when some sunlight came through the window, but I'm not really seeing the pretty autumnal sunlight effect that had been there a moment before; im a pretty quick draw w/ my camera, so go figure.
November 14, 2025 at 7:44 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
It's my kid's 8th bday next week. I'll be returning to California on Monday as planned. I'm concerned about my airline baggage allowance, as I've acquired winter wear, gifts for the kid, Canadian catering for her birthday party & future school snacks… and my 3rd Toronto-sourced vintage folding bike:
My newest folding bike is not especially lightweight or even as comfortable a ride as those I've gotten previously procured in Toronto—both more than a decade ago, and both long since disappeared first in Beijing & then in L.A—but its looks are up there w/ the much-missed previous bikes… shown is a gold & chrome folding bike w/ whitewall tires, reflectors in the spokes, & a black seat & handlebars Me astride the first folding bike I brought back from Toronto, supposedly of Hungarian origin. I got this from Igor Kenk, after a BMX I acquired in Queens, NY and brought to Toronto was stolen in broad daylight while locked on Dundas for less than an hour one morning in summer, 2007? I'm pretty sure this pic is from 2007, and I'm happy to report I haven't had so much as a toke off a cigarette since 2009. Here I'm in Beijing outside a Jiaodaokou bike shop where I actually bought a very lightweight Dahon bike for the birthday of my girlfriend there, who had the sense to have as her criteria that we get the lightest possible bike (which was also the quickest to fold and the smallest to stow in a trunk or even bring in the cab of a taxi with us.) Hanging from my trusty Chrome bag—which I have with me in Toronto as I write this, incidentally—is a megaphone, such as I tended to keep at the ready in those days if only to be able to talk to people in cars. Me on a bike I got off Toronto Craigslist from a tall apartment building in Etobicoke, I believe. Here pictured in the woods near a friend's cottage north of the Canadian shield. Apparently the bike's brand is GRAND PRIX, & it has this cute little Canadian flag symbol suggesting it was made here (which might help explain why I only seem to find these at reasonable prices here)
November 14, 2025 at 4:15 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
Hm, I just got 3 "Babalu" Xmas ornaments from Canadian Tire last night. I have a kid, and I delight in brazen bootlegs. Basically indistinguishable & same size, like US$28 in total. A significant savings vs the $950 dude claims. Meanwhile, are those platform clown shoes he's sporting?
Bootleg labubus hanging on a tree Closeup of a somewhat evil-looking labubu clone Photo taken with an emphasis on the Babalu label A bin of Babalus awaiting their forever homes / temporary speculator stopovers
November 11, 2025 at 5:25 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
I did buy a cape at the #CAFTCAD Wardrobe Sale last Saturday, and maybe that's what Bobby Gimby is wearing in this iconic image where he's like a benevolent hepcat pied piper, but anyway I will explicitly state I'm into whatever #BobbyGimby is wearing here. Will take it up w/ my local haberdasher!
Bobby Gimby—playing an exceedingly long trumpet—leading children in a Canadian centennial parade.
November 10, 2025 at 8:29 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
On 11/18/2016, Edgar Wright quote-posted this image in a thread about what film he'd want to remake. It's since been deleted, but his caption read 《Quiz: Future CNN headline or opening crawl from "The Running Man'? (via @micmehmet)》

I just booked Thurs. 11/13 tix for a Cineplex 4D theater <1km away
Someone whose X account was called The Colonel when I screenshot this off Nitter recently enough, replying to @edgarwright [for some reason saying] gotta be The Running Man, right? #StephenKing [the image is an old conception of a future-font in white, against a cranberry background. The words read］ 《BY 2017 THE WORLD ECONOMY HAS COLLAPSED. FOOD, NATURAL RESOURCES AND OIL ARE IN SHIRT SUPPLY. A POLICE STATE, DIVIDED INTO PARAMILITARY ZONES, RULES WITH AN IRON HAND.》
November 8, 2025 at 11:49 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
Which is something, considering what prices no doubt were in Chicago, what they'll be in Brooklyn, etc. A musician friend & I will walk literal blocks to attend this tonight, in the long sold-out GA section, so there early to jockey for position, I guess. A photo of the venue from this morning:
A photo of Massey Hall on Shuter Street near Eaton Centre
November 6, 2025 at 4:43 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
I'm visiting Canada (T.O, but a mission to Montreal & a daytrip to QC both in the cards early next week), & are there shops/pop-up ops carrying your stuff to which you might point a person? A print of yours via @coolcatcollective.bsky.social will be a bday gift for my school-refusal cat-kid in <2wks
At least 2 of these are prints by Gabby Kash, & the one on the left—it reads IT WON'T BE EAST BUT YOU HAVE TO KEEP GOING, & features a dayglo memento morí skull meets animated cat meets burning heart motif—has been purchased for my kid who actually has a v similar full name, & who has her 8th birthday soon. At center, another print features 2 different cute cartoon cats in a symmetrical composition, its words reading EVERY CAT IS MY BEST FRIEND At right, many images of various dayglo cat poses, in what could plausibly be (but isn't) an illustration by Saul Bass The mural and art show smack in the middle of Long Beach, California's Cool Cat Collective as it was on October 19th of this year. Some other cat-themed merchandise is visible as well. A cat peers down from a catwalk above the wall behind the register at CCC in Long Beach; there are some vintage cat-themed books below which are part of the shop's permanent collection A dude paints a new sign in the window of a tattoo shop next to CCC, while in the foreground one can see parts of CCC which actually won a prize for best storefront on 4th Street (no small accomplishment) since the day of my visit pictured here
November 6, 2025 at 4:18 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
In Beijing every apartment I ever had was in cat-swinging distance from a different all-night Uyghur spot. Same goes for my wife's mom's apartments when we've visited her (@2 places now.) My kid is also a fan; it's where we went on arriving Beijing on our most recent visit, & a default choice later.
Kid works on a lamb kebab while wife brandishes a grilled fish on a stick Kid and I out at a restaurant specializing in crab or something, I forget, and a plate of kebabs is visible. Also a plate of seasoned bread on a stick, another popular item The kid in our default booth (#666) at the Xinjiang spot nearest her maternal grandma's apartment. I had an extra photo spot, so throwing in a pic of probably the best restaurant visited in China on that trip, albeit without my wife & kid —here's an old friend & his wife (a newer friend, & a nice person & talented animator) at a Chengdu snacks style restaurant in that city in Sichuan. No real leftovers visible here, despite many different dishes clearly having been ordered.
November 6, 2025 at 9:38 AM
tenletters.bsky.social
…and a similar quote is attributed to RFK:
"Every society gets the kind of criminal it deserves. What is equally true is that every community gets the kind of law enforcement it insists on." Robert Kennedy
November 6, 2025 at 8:53 AM
tenletters.bsky.social
The Uyghur restaurant closest to my home in SoCal is ~100 miles (from Santa Barbara.) Now dining solo at a nice place within 5 minutes walk of my hosting friend's apartment here in the downtown of my longtime favorite city, Toronto. Leftovers assured, though, so will be taking these back to the host
Charcoal Kebab House 正宗维吾尔族餐厅 — Uyghur Cuisine on Mutual Street Not proofreading a (partial) Google Lens text grab; character count exceeded: 《CHARCOAL KEBAB HOUSE 正宗维吾尔族餐厅 108 Mutual St Toronto M58 287 437-880-7873 3256 Lawrence Ave East, Toronto, M1A 1A4 647-352-4550(Scarborough location) حلال HALAL KEBABS 串 LAMB KEBAB COMBO (2ppl) 30.85 羊肉串套餐 4 skewers of spicy lanib kebabs, four preces of lanoor naan & Caesar salad CHICKEN KEBAB COMBO (2ppl) 28.95 鸡肉串套餐 4 skewers of non-spicy chicken kebabs, four piece of tanoor naan & Caesar salad SPICY LAMB KEBAB 8.95(skewer)羊肉串单点 NON SPICY CHICKEN KEBAB(skewer) 6.95 鸡肉串单点 LAMB KIDNEY KEBAB 8.95 烤羊護 SUPER LARGE KEBAB NOODLE (Large dish 3-4ppl) 47.95 KEBAB NOODLE (Medium 2-3ppl) 34.95 中盘烤羊肉黄面 Charcoal grilled spicy lamb kebabs on top, cold spicy spaghetti on bottom, marinated with cucumber and chilly sauce. Spicy CHICKEN 鸡类 SUPER LARGE DAPANJI (3-4ppl) 55.95 大盘大盘鸡(巨大) MEDIUM DAPANJI (2-3ppl) 43.95 中盘大盘鸡 spicy chicken stirred and boiled with potato, tomato sauce, chilly, star anise, cinnamon, fennel and many other ingredients, fresh veggies, come with handmade wide noodle, juity 米 RICE LAMB POLO (PILAF) 25.85 羊肉抓饭 凉拌 Cold dish COW TONGUE 20.95 凉拌牛犊舌 LAMB TRIPE WITH CUCUMBER 16.75spicy 凉拌羊肚黄瓜 NOODLE 面 VIP LANGMAN 28.95 (more meat) 过油肉拌面(肉多) Handmade noodle with stirred veggies & more veal LANGMAN 23.85 维吾尔族拌面 Handmade noodle with stirred fried veggies and veal SPICY CHICKEN LANGMAN 25.95 辣皮子 鸡肉拌面 New Handmade noodle with stirred fried chicken and hot red pepper SPICY FRIED UYGHUR NOODLE 23.95 炒拉面 Handmade noodle stirred with veggies & veal 大盘烤羊肉黄面(巨大) UYGHUR SOMAN 23.85 丁丁炒面 Soup Sheep giblets / see menu online Home made Yogurt:7.88 Desserts 甜点:流氓切糕 gangster nutcocktail 6.95 伊犁咸奶茶 Salty Milk Tea (Kettle) 8.45 维族蜜蜂糕 homemade honey cake: 6 If you have any food allergies asked us and clarify before you place an order, we do not responsibly for any food allergies, some dishes are extremely hot, carefully t and eat; DO NOT PLAY with kebab skewers.》 A large dish served after a 25+minute wait; lamb kebab meat on cool noodles w/ cucumber, spiced w/ chili & my old nemesis the Sichuan peppercorn (but it's fine, and I don't actually see much of the culprit in the dish) The back room up a few steps is where the people are actually seated on dates and what-not. I rejected a table next to a door they'd need to open, such that they wanted to seat me facing the back wall ie the position w/ the worst possible feng shui in the place (back turned on the front door, and my back actually would have been visible from the front, too. I mentioned the GODFATHER movies, as I always do in such circumstances.)
November 5, 2025 at 11:28 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
Quote post with your favorite reaction gif of all time

*I can't find my fave old MSN gif on here, & my all-time fave has yet to be made. It would involve a simple animation of a modified Gadsen flag by @jesseduquette.bsky.social —ideally a red-hatted snake just wordlessly licking a boot. Useful!
A modified Gadsen flag (awaiting animation!) by cartoonist Jesse Duquette. There is no good gif representing "bootlicker", and my dream is for an army of bots to just spam the shit out of MAGA commenters in a mass demonstration of turnabout being fair play, rendering Meta social networks even shittier & closer to the hypothetical breaking point. The caption here reads OMG YOUR TREAD TWSTES GREAT [and he has lots of other variations as well]
November 5, 2025 at 8:16 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
It's been a somewhat tough border for me in the past, w/ a car search & being sent back to get cash from an ATM in an early middle-of-the-night crossing into BC; time in secondary nr Niagara Falls & even 1X @YYZ. But the anecdote this time = most streamlined customs operation I've seen, ~5yrs old.
In place of filling out a form, many of these machines. Consequently no line as seen at customs in so many other places. These machines in place at international Canadian airports for some 5 years now, according to an affable uniformed dude hanging in the customs area (an agent and/or there to assist with the new tech) Baggage claim shot, basically random. Ads sometimes seen in screen on left Doorway to the world outside at YYZ
November 4, 2025 at 6:59 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
Now boarding at LAX gate 65A
Weather report A long awaited Mister Cartoon / Randy Newman mash-up ("We Love L.A" ) Iconic LAX structures even if I can't actually name them or state their current function Knitwork Dodgers logo
November 3, 2025 at 7:19 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
Hello from SBA; I showed up earlier than planned (and slept less—possibly related.) First time flying internationally since relaxation of various TSA rules, so aside from taking off my 4-pocketed shirt (in same blue worn by agents) not much going. Kept shoes & belt & glasses on; left laptop in bag.
Kind of a classic local look to a main entryway at the Santa Barbara airport. If I've seen the PourAway branding before, the memory has come loose New Direct Relief (prefab/stick-on) mural at the TSA checkpoint entrance Ah yes, I vaguely remember Santa Barbara News & Gifts as having essentially been here forever. Skylight above reveals a lightening sky at around 0610
November 3, 2025 at 2:18 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
We still have a goldfish the kid won at this festival 2 years ago. So that's either a good value or a cautionary tale, or both.
A photo of the kid's goldfish in a tank since acquired (though I thought it was a loan, we've had it for over a year) from someone my wife had in her cohort. The source of the additional "fish" in the preceding pic: The Laughing Buddha, a secondhand/tchotchke shop in Carpinteria. The label says 《Goldfish $1.00 Low Maintenance》
November 2, 2025 at 6:53 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
Bell Arts Factory in Northern Ventura will host another evening of Día de los Muertos activities for the community this evening, from 4-8pm. My kid's school is having their big festival from 11-4, near Santa Barbara's Eastside Library. Both are free to attend; a bouncy castle wristband last year: $5
Adelante Charter School PTSO 1111 E. Mason St November 2nd/ 2 de Noviembre 11AM-4PM Art by: Noe Lara Anguiano Día de los Muertos ¡Los invita a una celebración cultural llena de música, bailarines, comida, juegos, brincolines, manualidades y mucho más! Invites you to a cultural celebration, full of music. performers, food, games, jumpers, arts and crafts and much more!! In Celebration of Día de Los Muertos OFRENDA 2025 CATRINA & CATRIN CONTEST ALTARS ART EXHIBITION LIVE PAINTING AZTECA DANCERS FACE PAINTING FAMILY ARTS & CRAFTS LIVE MUSIC/DJ VENDORS Sat. NOV 1 5-9pm * Sun. NOV 2 4-8pm BELLARTSFACTORY.ORG Bell Arts Factory 432 N. VENTURA AVENUE, VENTURA, CA 93001
November 2, 2025 at 4:45 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
Last night I got to downtown Ventura too late to catch the #DiaDeLosMuertos festival (a daytime thing; I caught the Dodgers tying the WS game & putting crowd in a good mood, tho.) Visiting a 7-Eleven before driving home, I stumbled across the celebration at #BellArtsFactory & this band #CrystalTears
November 2, 2025 at 4:08 PM
tenletters.bsky.social
Toronto is where I got my original pair of "contingency gloves", given this name on the theory that wearing them prepared me for a greater range of contingencies. Downhill biking gloves acquired thru the negatively-mythologized #IgorKenk, & I cut the fingers off. Broke both my wrists soon after (🚘🚴🏻)
Random and quite possibly accidental photo of my hand in a fingerless skeleton glove, out at a thing My hand in a tactical glove next to a fingerless glove decorated in an unusual style, as documented in Thailand A convertible glove, can be fingerless or a paw-style mitten for warmth/protection My kid as a toddler, raising a hand clad in a leather glove of mine (looks a bit large on her)
November 2, 2025 at 3:57 PM