Szyszka’s Screeds
@szyszkas-screeds.bsky.social
Fan account for @whmpodcast.bsky.social’s Eric @szyszka.bsky.social. Run by @rchris.bsky.social. Also: SajdaksSayings and JupinsGems
"I gotta say, when I was watching this, I was like, ‘This ugly ponytail - this is a crime.’ And then, the more I watched it, I was like, ‘I kinda like ponytails now! Maybe I’ll get one!’"
-It (1990)
-It (1990)
December 1, 2025 at 6:47 PM
"I gotta say, when I was watching this, I was like, ‘This ugly ponytail - this is a crime.’ And then, the more I watched it, I was like, ‘I kinda like ponytails now! Maybe I’ll get one!’"
-It (1990)
-It (1990)
"I saw it a couple of years ago - someone had a sick VHS copy." (Steve)
"What was wrong with it? Did you take it to the doctor?"
-It (1990)
"What was wrong with it? Did you take it to the doctor?"
-It (1990)
December 1, 2025 at 2:08 PM
"I saw it a couple of years ago - someone had a sick VHS copy." (Steve)
"What was wrong with it? Did you take it to the doctor?"
-It (1990)
"What was wrong with it? Did you take it to the doctor?"
-It (1990)
"We get to see Brad Pitt in like 12 shiny shirts. They could have called this movie ‘12 Shiny Shirts.’"
-Ocean's Twelve
-Ocean's Twelve
November 28, 2025 at 9:42 PM
"We get to see Brad Pitt in like 12 shiny shirts. They could have called this movie ‘12 Shiny Shirts.’"
-Ocean's Twelve
-Ocean's Twelve
"I’m like, ‘Which one got more press in 2001: the Bellagio job or 9/11?’" (Steve)
"‘Oh, Osama bin Laden - I heard he pulled the 9/11 job in 2001.’"
-Ocean's Twelve
"‘Oh, Osama bin Laden - I heard he pulled the 9/11 job in 2001.’"
-Ocean's Twelve
November 27, 2025 at 3:17 PM
"I’m like, ‘Which one got more press in 2001: the Bellagio job or 9/11?’" (Steve)
"‘Oh, Osama bin Laden - I heard he pulled the 9/11 job in 2001.’"
-Ocean's Twelve
"‘Oh, Osama bin Laden - I heard he pulled the 9/11 job in 2001.’"
-Ocean's Twelve
"You should not take a sensual shower at a grody-ass gym." (Steve)
"Don’t tell me what to do."
-Killer Workout
"Don’t tell me what to do."
-Killer Workout
November 26, 2025 at 6:31 PM
"You should not take a sensual shower at a grody-ass gym." (Steve)
"Don’t tell me what to do."
-Killer Workout
"Don’t tell me what to do."
-Killer Workout
"After 30, are you hanging out with your friends every single day like you're 16 years old?" (Steve)
"No, I'm mostly going home and falling asleep watching Hulu with my wife." (Andrew)
"I sleep in a big bed with my wife!" (Steve)
"I sleep in a race car."
-Entourage
"No, I'm mostly going home and falling asleep watching Hulu with my wife." (Andrew)
"I sleep in a big bed with my wife!" (Steve)
"I sleep in a race car."
-Entourage
November 26, 2025 at 1:00 AM
"After 30, are you hanging out with your friends every single day like you're 16 years old?" (Steve)
"No, I'm mostly going home and falling asleep watching Hulu with my wife." (Andrew)
"I sleep in a big bed with my wife!" (Steve)
"I sleep in a race car."
-Entourage
"No, I'm mostly going home and falling asleep watching Hulu with my wife." (Andrew)
"I sleep in a big bed with my wife!" (Steve)
"I sleep in a race car."
-Entourage
"Dude, we should pivot to being toilet paper influencers. We review them all: Scott, Charmin…others."
-Superman II
-Superman II
November 24, 2025 at 3:01 PM
"Dude, we should pivot to being toilet paper influencers. We review them all: Scott, Charmin…others."
-Superman II
-Superman II
"You’ll remember her from the movie adaptation of the TV show C.H.I.P.S. With Michael Pena and Dax Shepherd, I think." (Andrew)
"That will keep me out of the theater." (Steve)
"Dax Shepherd scares me more than COVID does."
-Mortal Kombat (2021)
"That will keep me out of the theater." (Steve)
"Dax Shepherd scares me more than COVID does."
-Mortal Kombat (2021)
November 21, 2025 at 2:19 PM
"You’ll remember her from the movie adaptation of the TV show C.H.I.P.S. With Michael Pena and Dax Shepherd, I think." (Andrew)
"That will keep me out of the theater." (Steve)
"Dax Shepherd scares me more than COVID does."
-Mortal Kombat (2021)
"That will keep me out of the theater." (Steve)
"Dax Shepherd scares me more than COVID does."
-Mortal Kombat (2021)
"Andy Garcia goes, ‘I’m not the only person in the world looking for Ocean’s 11.’" (Andrew)
"Yeah, there are only seven oceans, buddy! Right? Or is that seas?"
-Ocean's Twelve
"Yeah, there are only seven oceans, buddy! Right? Or is that seas?"
-Ocean's Twelve
November 20, 2025 at 7:35 PM
"Andy Garcia goes, ‘I’m not the only person in the world looking for Ocean’s 11.’" (Andrew)
"Yeah, there are only seven oceans, buddy! Right? Or is that seas?"
-Ocean's Twelve
"Yeah, there are only seven oceans, buddy! Right? Or is that seas?"
-Ocean's Twelve
"Talking about Steven Soderbergh’s Ocean’s Twelve, from 2004." (Andrew)
"By the way, in the Midwest, they call him 'Steven Poperbergh.'"
"Oh, Jesus…that’s awful." (Andrew)
-Ocean's Twelve
"By the way, in the Midwest, they call him 'Steven Poperbergh.'"
"Oh, Jesus…that’s awful." (Andrew)
-Ocean's Twelve
November 20, 2025 at 2:52 PM
"Talking about Steven Soderbergh’s Ocean’s Twelve, from 2004." (Andrew)
"By the way, in the Midwest, they call him 'Steven Poperbergh.'"
"Oh, Jesus…that’s awful." (Andrew)
-Ocean's Twelve
"By the way, in the Midwest, they call him 'Steven Poperbergh.'"
"Oh, Jesus…that’s awful." (Andrew)
-Ocean's Twelve
"Kids these days don’t know what a ‘sensei’ is. Back when we were on the streets in the ‘80s, everyone knew karate and had dojo experience."
-TMNTmentary
-TMNTmentary
November 19, 2025 at 8:25 PM
"Kids these days don’t know what a ‘sensei’ is. Back when we were on the streets in the ‘80s, everyone knew karate and had dojo experience."
-TMNTmentary
-TMNTmentary
"I dabbled in a little Doom, but nothing too crazy. I played my fair share of Myst, though, and it is a little rewarding when you get to some foggy meadows in that game."
-The Net
-The Net
November 19, 2025 at 2:08 PM
"I dabbled in a little Doom, but nothing too crazy. I played my fair share of Myst, though, and it is a little rewarding when you get to some foggy meadows in that game."
-The Net
-The Net
"Are anyone’s parents still using AOL?" (Andrew)
"No. We got some Yahoos." (Steve)
"I think I might have a Hotmail on my hands!"
-You've Got Mail
"No. We got some Yahoos." (Steve)
"I think I might have a Hotmail on my hands!"
-You've Got Mail
November 18, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"Are anyone’s parents still using AOL?" (Andrew)
"No. We got some Yahoos." (Steve)
"I think I might have a Hotmail on my hands!"
-You've Got Mail
"No. We got some Yahoos." (Steve)
"I think I might have a Hotmail on my hands!"
-You've Got Mail
"This just in from the news desk - I was just handed something here. It says, ‘I will fuck Greg Kinnear.’"
-You've Got Mail
-You've Got Mail
November 18, 2025 at 2:18 PM
"This just in from the news desk - I was just handed something here. It says, ‘I will fuck Greg Kinnear.’"
-You've Got Mail
-You've Got Mail
"It was the late ‘90s, and we were ALL cybering." (Steve)
"He’s sending her ASCII art of what his dick looks like."
-You've Got Mail
"He’s sending her ASCII art of what his dick looks like."
-You've Got Mail
November 17, 2025 at 10:49 PM
"It was the late ‘90s, and we were ALL cybering." (Steve)
"He’s sending her ASCII art of what his dick looks like."
-You've Got Mail
"He’s sending her ASCII art of what his dick looks like."
-You've Got Mail
"Zachary Levi from Chuck? Who I find intolerable on that show." (Andrew)
"More like UP-chuck."
-You've Got Mail
"More like UP-chuck."
-You've Got Mail
November 17, 2025 at 3:49 PM
"Zachary Levi from Chuck? Who I find intolerable on that show." (Andrew)
"More like UP-chuck."
-You've Got Mail
"More like UP-chuck."
-You've Got Mail
"He’s edging! In 2032, we’re still edging." (Andrew)
"Thank God. It’s the one thing they can’t take away from us."
-Demolition Man
"Thank God. It’s the one thing they can’t take away from us."
-Demolition Man
November 14, 2025 at 7:23 PM
"He’s edging! In 2032, we’re still edging." (Andrew)
"Thank God. It’s the one thing they can’t take away from us."
-Demolition Man
"Thank God. It’s the one thing they can’t take away from us."
-Demolition Man
"How can an orange rock monster get on any plane?" (Steve)
"He’s too fat to fly!"
-Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
"He’s too fat to fly!"
-Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
November 14, 2025 at 2:11 PM
"How can an orange rock monster get on any plane?" (Steve)
"He’s too fat to fly!"
-Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
"He’s too fat to fly!"
-Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
"I honestly don’t think she should be stealing parts from potential blonde actors."
-On Jessica Alba in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
-On Jessica Alba in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
November 13, 2025 at 6:52 PM
"I honestly don’t think she should be stealing parts from potential blonde actors."
-On Jessica Alba in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
-On Jessica Alba in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
"Put that pope hat on him! He’s got a pope hat, but it’s got, like, branches."
-On Galactus in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
-On Galactus in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
November 13, 2025 at 1:50 PM
"Put that pope hat on him! He’s got a pope hat, but it’s got, like, branches."
-On Galactus in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
-On Galactus in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
"The Koch brothers are going to have some fucking androids made after them." (Steve)
"Oh, man, why is that android so dumpy?"
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
"Oh, man, why is that android so dumpy?"
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
November 12, 2025 at 8:28 PM
"The Koch brothers are going to have some fucking androids made after them." (Steve)
"Oh, man, why is that android so dumpy?"
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
"Oh, man, why is that android so dumpy?"
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
"Speaking of stupid shit, on the IMDB trivia, I saw that this is the first Predator movie to feature a left-handed predator!"
"I saw that, and almost spit on my own phone." (Andrew)
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
"I saw that, and almost spit on my own phone." (Andrew)
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
November 12, 2025 at 2:00 PM
"Speaking of stupid shit, on the IMDB trivia, I saw that this is the first Predator movie to feature a left-handed predator!"
"I saw that, and almost spit on my own phone." (Andrew)
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
"I saw that, and almost spit on my own phone." (Andrew)
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
"He’s not a prospector, by the way - he’s a whaler." (Chris)
"Oh right, that’s the prospecting of the sea."
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
"Oh right, that’s the prospecting of the sea."
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
November 11, 2025 at 7:03 PM
"He’s not a prospector, by the way - he’s a whaler." (Chris)
"Oh right, that’s the prospecting of the sea."
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
"Oh right, that’s the prospecting of the sea."
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
"We always see present-day or future with these guys, but give me the Civil War predator! You know he was around!"
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
November 11, 2025 at 2:05 PM
"We always see present-day or future with these guys, but give me the Civil War predator! You know he was around!"
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
"Let’s not only tell the gentle listeners - let’s tell the HARD listeners. The Biff McRibs out there!"
-Retroactive
-Retroactive
November 10, 2025 at 8:14 PM
"Let’s not only tell the gentle listeners - let’s tell the HARD listeners. The Biff McRibs out there!"
-Retroactive
-Retroactive